4 April 2016

my body is a-changing (a little "bumpdate")

today marks twenty six weeks for me and baby boy. and this morning, i threw up.

so much for a barf-free pregnancy! i was so lucky to have zero vomiting all the way up until this point (and really can't remember the last time i threw up even before i got pregnant - probably over five years ago!) -- but my streak randomly ended with a sudden wave of intense nausea. it was unpleasant, as are many bits of pregnancy, but it reminded me that my body is doing an incredible, incredible work.

we just arrived back home after two weeks in israel, palestine and jordan. {i am excited to share photos and experiences over the next couple of weeks ... for a peek check out my instagram!} it was during this trip that i really started to recognize my body changing in significant ways - it seemed like all of a sudden i can't quite pass as just a little chubbier than usual -- i am definitively with child. the very first stranger to ask me if i am pregnant was a shopkeeper in jerusalem's old city (who ended up selling us a cute little "i heart jerusalem" onesie!). while the bump is now definitely and obviously present, it's crazy to me how much it seems to change day-to-day and throughout a single day! often i feel (and actually look!) literally five times bigger than i did a couple of hours earlier, and sometimes my bump is round and sometimes it's long. i guess baby boy is trying out some different sitting arrangements in there! kind of wild.

although the physical transformations of pregnancy are super exciting, and i am tremendously grateful to be experiencing them, it is just plain difficult for a woman to watch her body make changes that are quite out of her control. i've found myself comparing and scrutinizing my body more than perhaps ever before and it's challenging to find the balance between being helpfully conscientious and unhelpfully self-conscious. i'm attempting to counteract any negative thoughts i have about my body with much more powerful positive affirmations about its miraculous power in creating a human being. and slowly, i'm learning (i hope!) how i can carry pregnancy gracefully and confidently.


i know i am extremely lucky to have had such a healthy and active pregnancy, and for the very most part i really, really love being pregnant. i feel the baby move all the time now, and i absolutely adore it. about a week before we left for our trip, ian felt the baby move for the first time himself. that was very exciting for both of us! over the past few days, we've been able to see kicks and turns pop up on the surface of my belly. we both can't get over how amazing it is that our son is growing inside of me.

traveling at 24-26 weeks was really great. we walked miles and miles and miles all over hilly jerusalem and hiked around a lot in galilee/the golan heights/petra - and i was only slowed down a bit (and quite winded!) on steep inclines. ian was (and continually is!) patient and kind and excited and interested. all the delicious hummus and falafel and pita and schwarma we ate (along with too many ice cream bars and gummies from the old city!) sat very pretty with baby boy. being in my favourite place on earth with my true love and my soon-to-be son was really, really fantastic.

now that we are back home and the third trimester is looming so soon, i'm starting to realize we need to get kicked into gear with some logistical preparations for baby. there's so many options as far as what to buy and we hope to maintain some pretty strict minimalism in our tiny flat! i am still devouring anything and everything i can read about the wonders of pregnancy and childbirth and breastfeeding, and gathering advice and stories and tips from women i love and trust. we just hired a doula and are excited to create a birth plan with her. my mom bought her ticket across the pond and will be with us for nearly two weeks - hopefully baby boy makes his entrance into the world after she has arrived but not too long after! we will head over to america sometime in the first few months after delivery to introduce our baby to our families and friends.

we are making a bit of progress in name selection, but we're convinced we need to see what he looks like before we label him for life. what will he look like?! and what will he be like?! such an intense and wonderful brand of anticipation.

every day we pray that our baby boy will continue to grow strong and healthy, and that we will be inspired on how we can become better humans and spouses and prepare to be parents. and we thank god with all our hearts for our growing family.

14 comments :

  1. I'm so excited for you to have a baby! My two boys are 5 and 3 and being their mom really is one of the hardest, but absolutely the best thing I've ever done. Baby boys are amazing! And I totally agree with the minimalistic attitude towards baby gear. There is so much out there, and some of it may make things a little easier (like swings and bouncers and activity centers) and it all costs money and takes up space and really isn't necessary. You can always decide later to go buy something that you thought wasn't necessary but you feel you really need.

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  2. You look radiant! One thing that works for me is mentally naming any negative body type thought as intrusive. I'll think something and then say in my head , intrusive thought! It doesn't stop the negativity but you can recognize it for what it is.

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  3. Do you ever go back over your posts on this blog about wanting so badly to be pregnant or a mother or have a wonderful husband? I just went through a few and sat in awe thinking "she finally has it, how amazing" you must almost burst with gratitude this is happening for you😊 We all certainly are!! Keep it simple when it comes to bub; cot, somewhere of a changing table, bouncy chair, play mat, bottles, bibs, pacifiers and diapers. Simplistic and calm and he'll pick up on that energy. So excited for this bub to join us earth side 😊

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  4. Char, you are the beautifulest!! Miss you guys. Can't wait to see more photos from your trip!!! xoxo

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  5. You look great. For several weeks, while pregnant with Jonathan, he laid lengthwise in my tummy, it was pretty funny because even other people noticed my belly was an oval not a round lump. It was pretty obvious when he was finally in birthing position. Good luck with everything.

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  6. Wonderful time of life. Beautiful pictures.

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  7. So happy for you! Glad you are enjoying this beautiful time!

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  8. Its great seeing pix of your growing bump.

    I've heard that a great book to get baby gear ideas from - & also routines etc - is The Contented Baby Book by Gina Ford.

    She suggests a proper cot from birth, rather than a moses basket etc.

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  9. I am loving watching your journey. My son and his age for married a couple of months after you and now are expecting their first baby a couple months after you, too! Congrats!!

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  10. I think it's so normal for fit, body-conscious women to think that pregnancy might be a spiral out of control for a nice figure, but DON'T WORRY! You will be you again! I worried about my control over my body slipping during and after pregnancy, but don't worry, you will jump right back on track when it feels right. I was back in my normal jeans before long but they didn't feel quite right and I knew I was carrying a couple of extra kilos. But I was so tired and so focused on my baby that I didn't mind one bit. Then one AM around 4 months post birth I woke up and just felt ready to be "me" again. And within a few weeks, simply from getting my eating back on track (no longer being QUITE a exhausted as those first weeks and feeling the need to eat indulgently, partly out of fatigue, helped a ton), I was back to normal. You'll know when you're ready and when you want your body to just feel normal again, and it will happen.

    Totally agree about the minimalist approach. Although you aren't a mom yet, you are in expert in how you live and how you envision being a mom, and that's probably 99% right. You can fill in the other 1% of things you didn't think about but would find helpful once baby comes. Baby needs so little besides you and Ian.

    Sending warm and supportive vibes from Buenos Aires.

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  11. So exciting! There's nothing that matches pregnancy except giving birth. It's a time of wonder! Can't wait to see that cute bump!

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  12. love you char. So fun reliving all this amazingness with you.

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  13. love you char. So fun reliving all this amazingness with you.

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  14. First of all, you look fabulous! Secondly, I think it's okay to separate your gratitude for the things your body is doing and your feelings about how you look. I'm pregnant with my sixth and I just don't like how my body changes when I'm pregnant, and I'm okay with the fact that it's not my favorite time. I feel like that makes it easier for me to just recognize that I don't feel my most beautiful when I'm pregnant, to accept that feeling, and to move on without stressing about it. It sounds like you're also a runner, which I think is the very hardest part for me personally, as pregnancy means no PRs in the offing...but I instead try to focus on different goals, like keeping up mileage even as speed is reduced! And I can promise you that your speed and endurance will come back and will probably increase...I'm now much stronger and faster than I ever was pre-children! (Ability to endure pain and monotony is greatly increased.) 😂

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