10 November 2016

one hundred days of motherhood

a few weeks ago, i was playing with mo and realized that i forgot to take photos of him in his moses basket at three months old. (i’m just not good at the darling-milestone-pictures-in-the-same-spot-slash-outfit thing.) but when i took a second to do the math i realized that he was exactly one hundred days old on that very day! so we did a little photo shoot to commemorate :)

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^^ this slobber king is very often found chewing his hands … or wiggling all of his limbs! ^^
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^^ he’s just the sweetest … and so full of joy! ^^
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^^ i love how curious moses is about the world around him … and i adore the bright sparkle in his eyes! ^^
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^^ he’s just the best. ^^

after we took some photos, i held this sweet, sweet baby boy in my arms and took a moment to reflect on my first one hundred days as a mother.

motherhood has fundamentally changed me – in miraculous and beautiful ways. this tiny human has poured profound love and joy into my veins, and has challenged me in awesome ways, and has altered my perspective on so many aspects of life. it’s incredible, and i’m grateful.

when moses was three days old, we took him out on a little walk from our flat to trafalgar square. i wore baby boy in the carrier, and he was snuggled in close to my heart. as we strolled the streets of this city that afternoon, i was astonished at how the world looked and felt to me. everything was louder, more crowded, more intense, more saturated. the world around me was different. and i knew it would never be the same.

the new pace of my life has forced me to confront some weaknesses that i want to change. the new focus of my life has deepened my compassion and my desire to be less selfish.

i feel an increased, earnest need to be deliberate, to show utmost integrity, to be valiant. i consider that my actions are being observed and handed down, and i’m more careful.

i love my husband more. i appreciate my mom more. i find myself seeing others as some mother’s cherished, beloved baby.

i think the clearest change i’ve noticed within myself since i became a mother is that i am a much calmer person that i used to be. i get stressed less, i am bothered by less trivial things, and it’s easier for me to stay chill in the midst of chaos. i did not expect this. somehow, motherhood has tempered me, in ways that i really like.

my prayers are more thorough and more intense. i feel increased wonder and gratitude.

there are new difficult things in my life as a mother, but i’m really happy, in a whole new way.

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today i came across ^^ these photos ^^ that i took when moses was five weeks old
... and just starting to smile.
he has grown so so much! and so have i.

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everyone tells you being a mom is amazing. but you can’t really understand it until you’re there.
{ ^^ it’s especially amazing when your fussy baby descends into perfect peaceful slumber ^^ :) }

4 comments :

  1. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  2. He's beautiful! There's nothing better than watching your child thrive under your loving care. Enjoy!

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  3. My favorite picture is the 4th one down (when viewed on my phone) - so cute! Thanks for sharing your love of motherhood. It's a good reminder for me to enjoy it more fully.

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