tiny, tender mercies


woof. i had a really rough weekend (after a wild busy week). to be candid, i kind of hit rock bottom. now it's time to start climbing out.

i've found that in hard times (which are such a rich part of this beautiful life), i have a greater sensitivity to and reception of tiny, tender mercies - little, seemingly random tidbits that pop up and glow amidst darkness.

yesterday morning, i woke up after not much sleep due to intense distress in the wee hours, and saw snow - legit, heavy, snow - out the window. i really needed something to make me feel giddy happiness, and those ice crystals falling from the air fit the bill just perfectly. snow is very rare in london - i mentioned in my last post that i saw some a few days ago in mayfair, but it was really wimpy and temporary compared to what came from heaven yesterday - and i was just so excited. and i got to share that excitement with my little mo and my niece who is visiting from switzerland! (oh, and ian and my brother, too :) )

this morning, i went to a yoga class. it was so good for my body and spirit. during savasana (the final relaxation pose in most yoga practices), the instructor turned on a very specific song that is tied to really, really beautiful memories for me. i laid on my mat and let tears roll down the side of my face and into my ears. they weren't sad tears; they were wonderful cleansing tears. something about that song (i started to connect with it many years ago - it's the music in a video i posted back here) made my heart gleam in just the way i needed.

can you notice a tiny, tender mercy in your life today?

ps. yes, we know the gender of our baby! we are excited to share this news soon. and baby is perfectly healthy and well and active - we are so grateful. 
{artwork by my always favourite, caitlin connolly. this piece is called "detangling my mind, in process.")

5 comments:

  1. My tender mercies always come when I need them the most and they always seem to come in way of song on the radio. Most times when I'm sad/stressed/anxious and I'm driving a song that my grandmother (who resides in heaven) loved or one we played in the funeral or a song from my favourite album (which I believe she made happen for me) always comes on. I take it as a song from her that it'll be okay and everything will sort itself out. I needed this reminder to count and notice the tender mercies in my life ❤️ P.s glad to hear Bub is doing well (I was getting nervous as you haven't announced yet and way praying everything was okay. Hopefully you find a fun way to announce it that makes up for how you had to announce the pregnancy, thanks dad! Haha x)

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  2. Don't you just LOVE a good savasana when everything comes together and the tears release, leaving you exhausted, drained, but completely refreshed at the same time? Spiegel im Spiegel is such a beautiful song - it's on my yoga playlist too :) Sending love as you navigate rock bottom, climbing back up on the tiny mercies, moment by moment.

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  3. I've been in a pretty deep rut the last few months. Actually, calling it a deep rut is being too kind. In reality it's been an overwhelming state of depression. I too, am just now starting to break through the haze, and begin putting my pieces back together. I find nighttime to be the hardest- as I'm a single lady, and evenings can be overwhelmingly quiet. I need something to do, something to keep my hands busy and narrow my focus on something positive. So, I've started doing needlework. I'm basically embroidering at the skill level of a child, but I specifically pick patterns that I would enjoy seeing on my wall. It's insane how wonderful having this new "hobby" has been. It gives me something positive to hone my energy on each night, and the best part is- there's a real, physical, awesome outcome in the neat piece of art that I'm able to churn out.

    Anyways, that has been super helpful to me lately, so I thought I'd share!

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  4. Sending you lots of good thoughts. It must be so hard to hit "rock bottom" with house guests around; even house guests you love so very much. Remember, pregnancy hormones can make you crazy, this is temporary, you are good and strong and doing your best! Savasana is the best; good for you for going to yoga!

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  5. You have a wonderful gift, that even during a very hard time you can still see the beauty in the world! I'll send some prayers your way and hope that more peace comes into your heart.

    On the tender mercy thing, last week I was having a sad day. I was feeling down with some bad news that came to someone close to us and just a little blue in general. A friend came by to drop off a thank you note. I chatted with her for a minute and then she left. When I opened the note it had the most beautiful, kind, heartfelt message in it. It totally lifted my day and I know Heavenly Father sent her over because I needed that. I've kept the note on my bedside table to remind me of the good in the world and the love of our Father.

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