gabriel's blessing day

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our angel gabriel was blessed on the sunday of the eyrealm reunion. it was such a special occasion.

our little baby was surrounded by so many who adore and support him. he was given a name and a blessing in a beautiful setting - at a place that is beloved and full of family love and memories. he wore the same outfit that his daddy was blessed in nearly thirty four years ago.

and he got to share his blessing day with his sweet cousin who was born five days before him!

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all four of little gabe's grandparents were there...

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...and bear lake was sparkling in the sunshine as we all looked on from my parents' house up on the hill.

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first baby etta was blessed by her daddy, my brother eli:

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and then it was gabriel's turn!

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since i had the huge privilege of growing this sweet child inside of my body and then giving birth to him, i am so glad that his dad had this very special opportunity to bless him. and i am so grateful that our baby boy has the examples of so many stellar men in his life - his blessing circle included his spectacular dad, both fabulous grandfathers, nine wonderful uncles, and his awesome oldest cousin.

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last summer, my brother eli and his family came to visit us in london - and delighted us by telling us they were pregnant! while they were in town, we found out we were also pregnant! ... and had so much fun reciprocating eli & julie's news! we have been so so excited about these super-close-in-age cousins, and it was just immensely special to witness them be blessed on the same day.

ian's parents and his youngest sister and her husband drove up to bear lake from provo (a three hour drive!) to be at gabriel's blessing. it was so wonderful to have them there. as evidenced by his face in this picture, gabriel was pretty blown away by their love and support :)

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moses actually napped right through the blessings, but was sure sweet to his baby brother when he woke up. our attempt at a good family picture with both boys was basically a fail - ha! but i love the reflection of two loving grandmothers in this snap:

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this little baby boy is blessed, indeed! and this day was just so, so special.

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Comments

  1. It’s too bad that as a woman and mother you are excluded from participating in the blessing. Hopefully one day church leaders will change this outdated policy and see women as an equal parent in the milestones of their children’s lives.

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    1. Susan, it all depends on your perspective.

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    2. as mentioned in the post, i am so glad that my husband gets this special and bonding experience with our child, with me looking on and supporting. he was excluded from the actual work of pregnancy and birth (and continues to be excluded from the amazing experience of breastfeeding) - i would hate to take away his own opportunities to bond with our child in meaningful ways.

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  2. This post uplifted me. Thank you for sharing. You and yours are beautiful souls and wonderful humans!

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  3. How could you participating in a baby blessing "take away" Ian's "opportunity" for bonding?!?! Surely you misspoke. It's not like one parent loving their child could diminish the others parents in any way.

    And equating motherhood with biology is both incredibly entitled (many women come to motherhood not biologically) AND incredibly diminishing; As though men bless their families with spirituality and intellect while women do it through physicality.

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    1. perhaps the phrase “take away” wasn’t the best way to communicate what i am trying to say. i am (ironically) responding to these comments while up in the wee hours feeding our baby - a rare quiet moment! - so i may not be the sharpest.

      of course many women come to motherhood not biologically, and i believe those women should absolutely seek out (and i am sure they do in many awesome ways) special bonding experiences with their children (independent of their partners). insisting that both parents are perfectly equally involved in every milestone seems a bit silly to me - should i shove my child over when he attempts his first steps if dad isn’t around?? my point is that it’s fantastic for each parent to have different bonding experiences with their child, and i happen to believe that there are some ordinances that god intended fathers to perform. i certainly don’t expect everyone to believe this, and i also certainly don’t feel right about asserting how other parents approach different milestones/bonding experiences with their children.

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  4. Lots of women are also excluded from the amazing privilege and bonding experiences of pregnancy, childbirth, and breastfeeding. I’m not overly sensitive or into advocating for women and the priesthood. But your post STINGS right to my very core. Comparing pregnancy and breastfeeding as justification for priesthood stuff from women in the church is so backward and soooo hurtful to women who struggle with infirtility. It sucks. Absolutely, 100% sucks and hurts in the very very very worst ways.

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    1. i am so sincerely sorry that i caused any sting. i would absolutely love any tips on how i can share this special event without causing any hurt. i mentioned pregnancy and breastfeeding in an effort to explain my own personal experience (not as justification, jusy as my own perspective), and i truly apologize if it came across as insensitive to others’ pain. i should have been more careful.

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  5. I think that's a lovely aplology. From the outside looking in, i think the issue is that you're not just talking about your own "personal experience" as you state above. You're addressing an LDS doctrine/philosophy/perspective that applies to Every LDS woman without regard to individual experience. You clearly think carefully about most of your parenting decisions but it doesn't seem like you apply that usual rigor when your religion intersects with parenting. Perhaps not assuming everything is "right" or "light filled" or "from GOD" just because it's LDS doctorine could be a possibility? Im guessing you agree that what served as "doctrine" in the past, like not allowing men of color to be eligible to enter the priesthood based in ethnicity alone, was not all right.

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    1. that makes sense i think, jenny. thanks for letting me know how it comes across from your perspective. this post genuinely was about sharing my own personal experience. yes, in this case that experience intersects with my religion - but the purpose of this post (and this blog for that matter!) isn’t to speak for anyone (of my faith or not) but myself. i actually don’t assume all lds doctrine is right (although, because of very strong spiritual experiences in which i have questioned my faith and found answers in my mind and heart, that is my default). i think leaders of the church have made mistakes in the past and are making mistakes now, and that the church is absolutely subject to human fault.

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  6. Thanks for the apology. Jenny (Also) explains why it hurts so much. I would like to believe that you are telling the truth when you say you were just describing your own personal experience. But you are usually really smart and sensitive about complicated things, so I would think you would know that wth those statements you are addressing bigger things, like Jenny (Also) summed up. The comparison between fertility and the priesthood is super common, and I thought it was common knowledge now days among people like you who seem to think more deeply and critically about church, that this comparison between the two is not doctrinal and is widely received very negatively by women who struggle with infertility (there are a lot of us!). I really like your blog and have read for years and always think people are too hard on you. But this hurt. I guess I’m doubly disappointed because you always seem smarter and more thoughtful than this. I want to respect your personal experience, but it’s such an insensitive and hurtful comparison that deeply affects so many women like me. It really comes across as a statement on the priesthood and I haven’t heard it in awhile. I thought it finally went away. Thanks for listening.

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    1. thanks for letting me know it came across this way. i do not subscribe to the argument that fertility and priesthood line up as a good comparison - in fact, i have often been bothered by this argument. the purpose of this post was not to share feelings on either of these topics, but to document a special family event, part of which was a unique bonding experience for my husband and our son. someday i would love to share more thoughts and get more insights from others on women and the priesthood. i really appreciate your comments.

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    2. Charity I am responding to this thread because I am the anonymous from the comments about this post stinging and then my comment is also the anonymous comment thanking you for your apology. The other anonymous comments are from someone else, not me. I just left the two, and now this one! Thanks again for listening and apologizing rather than dismissing and defending. As you often address LDS doctrin and do Q&A’s I’m glad you were receptive to my criticism that this came across to readers like an overall statement. Thanks again!

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  7. I’d say both his parents blessed the baby, seeing as they both desired and saw to it the baby was actually blessed.

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  8. "i actually don’t assume all lds doctrine is right..." Really?

    What SPECIFIC doctrine do you think is wrong? If you were to let your church leaders know this, would you still have whatever privileges you have (if you have any?)

    Why not put it out there and deal with any fall-out from immediate and extended family (and church powers-that-be) about the LDS doctrines you find "not right".

    Easy to say "yes, my church has some things I don't agree with." Harder to list them outright. I challenge you to list the things you find "wrong" and list the reasons for your opinion.

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    1. i don’t have a ton of time on my hands these days, but i am definitely happy to be open about any aspect of my faith (just don’t have the bandwidth to write anything lengthy or super articulate). i meant in that reply to say that i don’t just blindly follow all i hear at church or from church leaders - i was targeting that word “assume.” i do have a general default that official church doctrine is indeed from god (because i have earnestly questioned god on if the prophet and apostles are actually chosen and led by him), but i don’t just blindly assume everything they say is right. i consider it, pray about it, and decide for myself. when i do this, i genuinely find that personal answers from god line up with church doctrine - so there is nothing at the moment that i definitively consider wrong. i am still working to wrap my head around recent changes in policy (which is, by the way, distinct from doctrine) concerning children of gay parents in the church. and i believe the policies around people of african decent and the priesthood were absolutely a product of human fault/frality. there are often cultural aspects of the church or little tidbits of conference talks or certain practices that i don’t subscribe to and need to reconcile with my strong personal faith. when i have more time (which may not be until my kids are grown...? ha) i would be happy to provide you with an exhaustive list of greivences with reasoning and method of reconciliation ... but then again i am not sure how productive that would be for anyone.

      i hope this helps clarify and somewhat fulfill your challenge! :)

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  9. such a sweet family! thanks for always being polite and kind, Charity. i would always assume that anything you say on YOUR blog is obviously your own personal opinion, especially since this is partially a journal for your memories, and i only hope that others who read it can withhold their judgement and not take offense at the things you write.

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    1. I think saying “I only hope that others who read it...not take offense at the things you write” is an unnecessary jab at people who have expressed genuine hurt. I do seriously appreciate that charity doesn’t have the attitude that people choose to get offended and is instead really thoughtful and kind about her words. It is a record of her life, yes, but also something that is very public. I think as Mormons we sometimes get obsessed with this “choosing to take offense” as an excuse to not be kind, or sometimes to even dismiss mean things that are said by ourselves or others. It’s so much kinder and so much more Christlike to be nice and empathetic and reflective of how or actions and words affect others. People feel happier at church and more loved and safer being there when people respond the way Charity do. Thank you for that Charity. -same anonymous who said it stings

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  10. I for one didn't understand that one sentence in any other way than you describing your personal experience.

    If I can bring up a pet peeve ;-) , it's "we are pregnant". Because:
    https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=onDCvHtHSkY

    Also that blessing outfit is really cute!

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    1. Mormonen trinken keine Tequilakurzer...

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    2. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  11. Hi Charity, congrats on the blessing. Are you aware that Elder Nelson did say the "policy" was revelation in an address to YSAs in St. George shortly after the debacle? http://www.mormondialogue.org/topic/68156-the-november-policy-change-was-reaffirmed-as-revelation-in-the-oct-ensign/

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  12. Charity--you are just a lovely person :). I enjoy your blog so much and admire your thoughtful tactfulness and respect that you give to others. So many bloggers have trigger fingers on their delete button and while no one should tolerate nastiness, you are very kind in your elaborations and explanations. Nurse on :)

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