ten thoughts on a wednesday |45|

IMG 7353 IMG 7471

one.
whose idea was daylight savings? i'd like to have a stern word with that person. who in their right mind wants it to be lighter at 5:30am than at 5:30pm? who?? also, whoever came up with it did not have young children. when the clocks turned here in london, gabriel started traded in his 5:30am wakeup call (brutal) to a 4:15am wakeup call (death). i just think we should abolish daylight savings, it's awful! (in complaining about this over the past couple of weeks i've learned a little bit of history about daylights savings, factory work and conserving electricity etc, but i'm still mad - ha!)

two.
my mom and dad were in town this week! they were here just for about 48 hours, but man it's so great to have them around. there's so much joy in our home when grammie and grandfather are here! moses and gabriel are obsessed with both of them and it's soooo so so much fun to see my parents with my children. my parents have thirty one grandchildren (mo is number twenty eight and gabriel is number thirty one!), and every single one is adored and feels so special when they are with g&g. 
i only snapped a couple pictures, but the past few days included lots of good stuff: a daddy-daughter bike ride through notting hill, moses falling on the ground overcome with laughter watching grandfather juggle, great deep discussions about important things after the kids were in bed, some grandparent babysitting, reveling in the outrageously beautiful foliage in hyde park, the boys snuggling in bed with grandfather first thing in the morning as he told them stories, walks around our pretty neighborhood, and gabriel grinning at his grandparents like crazy.

IMG 7612 IMG 7615
IMG 6441 IMG 6450
IMG 6477 IMG 7610
IMG 6480 IMG 6486
IMG 7601 IMG 7606

three.
socially, i've always been a floater. it's just somehow a part of my nature to often spread myself wide instead of deep when it comes to friendships. (i do have some very close friends, but for the most part i seem to always be dipping into several different "friend groups.") there are pros and cons to this, and i've recently been reflecting on why i am this way and if it would be good to work to tweak this about myself. i'm not sure. 

four.
on a somewhat related note, i've been thinking a bit lately about how i've changed over the past few years. and i think i have become much more introverted. i used to be pretty much 100% an extrovert, but now i sometimes find myself feeling pretty drained, rather than energized, by spending time with others. i'm not sure why this has evolved, but it's interesting to think about. i love that as humans we grow and mature and unfold and become over time. it's a process we can find so much beauty in. 

IMG 7551 IMG 7560
IMG 7477 IMG 7535
^^ someone got a haircut! :) ^^
IMG 7326 IMG 7328 IMG 7329
IMG 7330 IMG 7331 IMG 7332
IMG 7335 IMG 7333 IMG 7336
^^ simple pleasures … there’s this green toy truck at our grocery store that moses loves. it’s coin operated, but we never pay to make it move - mo is perfectly happy to just play in it as is. ^^
IMG 7577
^^ our garden square looking lovely in autumn! ^^

five.
a friend posted these words, penned by st. francis of assisi, on instagram the other day. they really touched me and made me want to be better.
lord, make me an instrument of your peace:
where there is hatred, let me sow love;
where there is injury, pardon;
where there is doubt, faith;
where there is despair, hope;
where there is darkness, lights;
where there is sadness, joy.
o divine master, grant that i may not so much seek 
to be consoled as to console,
to be understood as to understand,
to be loved as to love.
for it is in giving that we receive, 
it is in pardoning that we are pardoned,
and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life.
amen. 

six.
christmas is popping up all over london, and i'm giddy about it ... but today i appreciated spoting this beautiful homage to autumn holding strong amidst the encroaching tinsel and baubles:
IMG 7697

seven.
i forgot to include this photo in my last ten thoughts post when i mentioned my sister saren and her daughter eliza coming to london! 
PHOTO 2018 10 28 05 19 45
one day during their visit gabe and i met up with saren and eliza along with our favourite schwartz girls for afternoon tea! it was such a fun gathering of gals. 

eight.
this week i remembered how one of my colleagues when i was teaching middle school in the bay area had this phrase plastered across the front of her classroom: every challenge is an opportunity. i love that! and i want to make it a mantra that comes to my mind whenever i am confronted with challenges. 

nine.
isn't it awesome that we get a new, fresh start every single morning?! or really, every single minute? we don't have to wait to be better, to begin again, to refresh and reset. i have been failing in a lot of my recent goals/resolutions but i'm trying to remind myself that i can just start again right now! and i'm infinitely grateful for my faith in the endless second chances that are available to those with pure hearts because of the saviour, jesus christ. 

IMG 7666 IMG 7688
IMG 7671 IMG 7681 IMG 7682

ten.
i've been wanting to rename this blog for many years. but i cannot, for the life of me, think of a name that i like! do you have any suggestions?! 

happy wednesday! life is beautiful!

32 comments:

  1. Hi Charity! I love your 10 thoughts. You would have liked voting in CA this year- one of our propositions was about (potentially) overturning Day Light Savings! As for the introvert/extrovert I have one thought: I'm not a parent but I find when I am spending all day with my nieces I need more down/alone time that I would otherwise. In the natural course of a regular day with adults or at work there are ebs and flows to how "on" I have to be but with my nieces I am "on" all the time and therefore seek more introverted activities in the evenings while they sleep. Just a thought!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. oh yeah, i'm sure the introversion comes in big part from being a stay-at-home mom to two small kids. (i should have mentioned that in that thought! duh.) but i think there might be something else to it too, so it's just interesting to think about.

      Delete
  2. I used to be 100% extrovert too....before kiddos.... :)

    ReplyDelete
  3. re 1: Dear Charity, I don't have much pity for someone who will have crossed the Atlantic twice this year and therefore will have had a much stronger time change on purpose than the meekly hour. ;-)
    A 4.15 wakeup call however gets all my pity regardless of the reason!

    re 4: I too want to suggest being a mother and basically never being alone as a reason.

    re 9: For some years I had the mantra "It's never too late in the day to start your day over." As for resolutions - let's not talk about them.


    re

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. :)

      i've only crossed the ocean once this year, but i am gearing up for doing it again with a baby in december, eek!

      definitely being a mom has caused my increased introversion in large measure. but i wonder if there's something more to it ...? it's interesting to think about.

      love that mantra!!

      Delete
    2. I think you crossed it twice-once on the way to the US and once on the way back...;)

      Delete
  4. I don’t think there is anything wrong with being a “floater” as you call them. I am one too. It has allowed me to find friends wherever I am and it is enabled in part because my true best friends are my mom, my sisters, my sisters-in-law and my husband. That’s a lot of friends already. My deepest needs are fulfilled in this way so it serves my life well.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. yeah, i don't think there's anything wrong with it either, i actually think there are some great perks (one of which you mentioned)! i wrote this post in a nap-time hurry, and i think i made it sound more negative than intended. i've just been pondering on the pros and cons.

      thanks for the comment!

      Delete
    2. I'm the opposite, I tend to find one friend in any situation and spend all my time only with them. There are pros and cons to this too and I always wonder if I should try to be the other way.

      I've also found I've become more of an introvert since having children. It is so nice on days when we stay home and take our time, I get chores done, the kids muck about outside, we keep a good in-breath/out-breath rhythm, those days are so much smoother than other days when our mornings or afternoons are taken up by errands or appointments. This summer when the kids weren't in nursery I feel like I barely left our house/yard, but I felt so fulfilled and in tune with myself and my children.

      Delete
  5. I'm enjoying your ten thoughts posts!
    #3: I identify with this. I have been burned by close friends in the past, and at some point soon after college I told myself that I wouldn't allow anyone to get close enough to me to burn me like that again. And I didn't. I have a lot of really lovely friendships but now years later I'm realizing that it is a bit sad I let some cr@ppy friends deter me from forming deep relationships.
    #4: YES. For me I think my job has been very high pressure for the last 6 years or so, and the result is that when I get home I don't want to see anyone or do anything - I just want to sit on the couch and veg.
    #5: Love this. I think St. Francis was the protector of animals too, so I love him for that as well:)

    ReplyDelete
  6. 1. I echo what you say about grandparents. My only remaining grandparent, my nana has 12 grandchildren and 16 (soon to be 17) great grandchildren and she loves them all as did my grandad when he was with us. My Gran (Mum's mum) was the same.

    2. Love Gabriel in the swing!

    3. I'm not ready for Christmas, it's too soon but it's likes trying to hold back the tide with all the shops, etc getting all decked out

    4. "Every challenge is an opportunity" - I need to send this my son's way. He's 11 and having a hard time with facing challenges at the mo.

    5. Do you have an idea of what message you'd like to convey with renaming your blog?

    ReplyDelete
  7. I was an exchange student in high school for a year in a non-English speaking country. I was totally extroverted before I left, and have been introverted ever since I returned. Of course I was very young, so it could have been part of me growing up, but I've always thought that living as a guest in someone else's culture fosters introversion, especially when there's a language barrier. You kind of automatically take a backseat in social situations, and you learn how to be alone without being lonely (well, maybe sometimes lonely ;)) because you are inherently in the minority. It's isolating, but not necessarily in a bad way, if that makes sense. Obviously your case is different, and you already lived abroad when you were younger, but food for thought!

    And by the way, daylight savings time just ended, so actually you love daylight savings and you hate standard time ;)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. that's an interesting thought! i bet the combination of becoming a mom and living in an at least semi-foreign place has really contributed to increased introversion.

      i just think daylight savings time shouldn't exist in the first place ... so we just stay on "standard time" all the time ;)

      Delete
  8. I think you should name your new blog Life is Beautiful. I love how you face challenges and still look at the positive. Life is Beautiful!

    ReplyDelete
  9. blog name suggestions:

    Growing & Grateful (or just Growing Grateful)

    Wright Now

    Reverent & Raucous






    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. ooooh i've been thinking of different right/wright play on words. wright now is kind of fun! i've also thought about the wright spot or the wright place but both sound kind of arrogant, haha.

      Delete
    2. Wright Now is such a great suggestion! I love that.

      Delete
    3. I also love Wright Now!

      Delete
  10. P.s. of course you’re more introverted now. You have two little (and beyond adorable) people hanging on you all day everyday. Of course you crave alone time; you can’t even go to the bathroom alone. I hope you’re taking advantage of the childcare offered at Ian’s work. Being a stay at home Mom of young kids is really, really hard. A lot of women find themselves feeling isolated and unmotivated when with their little children all day; once they go to school it’s so much easier. Pro tip: if you send your kids to childcare/preschool a few hours a day (perhaps as you continue your education) you get a break needed for optimal mental health AND you still get the joy of endless cuddles, smiles, Park time and all that wonderful stuff.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. agreed on all counts! i guess i'm just surprised that i crave alone time more than time with adults/friends. we are definitely taking advantage of the childcare offered at ian's work. in fact, the boys just left with ian and i have the whole day off today ;) moses is also doing joy school twice a week now, so that gives me four toddler-free hours a week. i am grateful for the resources i have for childcare and also that, even when i'm with the boys 24/7 for long stretches of time, i don't feel very isolated or unmotivated! i think being aware of this and deliberate about how to tackle it from the beginning of my motherhood journey has helped a lot. i should write about that more here because it seems like it may be coming across that i'm isolated/unmotivated.

      Delete
    2. I don't think that you come across as isolated and unmotivated. I also don't think that Jenny wanted to say so.

      Nevertheless I'd be interested if you wrote more about that and how you were deliberate (and insights by readers might be interesting, too). For me staying at home with my (very easy - if being hold) baby all day long was hard. I live Jenny's pro tip of childcare and working for a few hours. I like both, but now I struggle, because I feel that my son and I spend too little time together (the commute just got longer than originally planned).

      Delete
  11. Hi Charity - really interesting to think about changes of extroversion/introversion. I always thought I was 100% extroverted too. All the personality tests suggested as much and I really FELT energized by being with people. Many commenters here are suggesting this change is because you are a mom. Well, you and I are the same age but I do not have kids yet (hope to really soon!). Even still, I have been feeling a change inside of me too. I recently realized I've started a new routine before going to social events: I have to lay down on my bed and take 10-15 minutes of silent rest to "gear up". Doesn't sound like a very extroverted tendency does it? :) Tests like Myers-Briggs suggest that extroversion/introversion does not change over one's lifetime but I'm not so sure either. Hm.... Always appreciate your thoughts and insights. Cheers!

    ReplyDelete
  12. Thre is nothing wrong with being a floater. I think that is probably a nice quality of you is that you are able to be friends with lots of different people. I am a floater, though I do have a couple of good close friendship. I do get hurt feelings sometimes when others aren' floaters. kind of drives me crazy at church in our ward we have a lot of clicks. i don't want to be in a click just want to be friends with everyone. I don't want anyone left out and don't want to be left out. Probably switch to being more introverted comes from being a mother. As a mother one has to assess if ones time is worth spending at any given place or being home with ones children. I find it changes from stage to stage.

    ReplyDelete
  13. That’s funny because the opposite thing happened to me when we had kids and I became a stay at home. My husband and I kind of switched places. He became much more introverted with less desire to entertain and see people, and I became much more extroverted and relied on meet-ups with other moms constantly. Now that my kids are just barely all in school, I’m really enjoying the solitude. It is interesting how that ebbs and flows a bit.

    I’m also a bit of a floater but of necessity since we have moved a lot. It has worked well for me until recently when I’ve faced some tough challenges and wished I had people I could talk to about it. I do have my family, but sometimes an outside perspective helps when you’re having family issues!

    I really enjoy these wednesday lists!

    ReplyDelete
  14. I love the name of your blog and think it is perfect- I vote to never change!!

    ReplyDelete
  15. I noticed that you've now got a double buggy.

    What made you decide to get one & does it fit in your flat OK?

    ReplyDelete
  16. I used to consider myself an extrovert also but now I am much more of an introvert and need down time. I think it is due (at least for me) to having kids. Because when you have kids, they are always in your space and needing attention and it is very difficult to find quiet time. And then to have to go out into the world and spend time with people, it just feels so draining to me.

    This need for peace/downtime has also affected how I like to vacation. Back before we had kids (we have 5 kids, ages 9-19) we would love to go exploring and sightsee and cram as much as possible into our trips. Now? I just want to go somewhere and lay on a beach a read a book and not have to be anywhere at a specific time. This frustrates my husband b/c he still wants to be on the go ALL THE TIME but I am really finding that this stage of my life needs to be about nurturing myself (when possible) b/c most of my days are spent nurturing and caring for my family.

    This too shall pass, I know I'm in a busy season/stage of life so I'm trying to go with the flow, and this means learning something new about myself and how my needs change as my stages of life change.

    ReplyDelete
  17. I am single and live alone and am very happy with that. I have always felt like I have tons of friends! However, I had surgery earlier this year and have never felt more alone in my life. I didn’t hear from very many people and had very few visitors. I realized that while I have several brunches planned every weekend and coffee or happy hour planned every afternoon/evening with someone, I don’t gave many “deep” friendships. Last week at brunch with a group of my girlfriends I found myself so frustrated with them that I had to get up and leave. None of them asked how I was doing after surgery and I realized that I had heard from zero of them during my three month recovery. Over the last
    Month I have been working hard at identifying who my deep friendships are with and how to strengthen those. I would love to hear any more thoughts you have. -Bb

    ReplyDelete
  18. I'm not a floater - I like to have close friends. One of my dearest friends is a floater, though, and it hurts my feelings so much. She's the person I want to come visit me in the hospital (for example), she's the person I want to call if I need support or want to share happy news, etc., but I'm not that person for her. She has an enormous family and her need for that kind of support and closeness are completely met by them. It feels like I see her as my best friend and she sees me as one of her float friends. I do my best to understand our different approaches to friendship. Anyway, kids are exhausting, it's normal to need time to yourself. It wasn't just being a mother that made me more introverted, though, it was aging out of the social setting of high school, college, and early married years, where my activities with other people were so important to my identity. Now I go for a quality (not quantity) social life and it has been a relief to acknowledge that I don't have to keep being a social butterfly to feel like a social person. Good luck! Always fun to peek into someone else's life. I wish you well.

    ReplyDelete
  19. You won't believe this, but I was thinking to myself how you had changed, and then I read your own comments on your introversion! I don't know you personally, of course, but only by knowing you through your writing, and my own outlook + perspective on life, I feel like 1) you're calmer and more at peace after becoming a mother- twice, and 2) it also has to do with the affect of being surrounded by male energy- I'm a big believer + observer of male and female energy, and how they influence each other, and I really think that being the primary female in three the life of three males and has caused a big shift in you.
    These are of course just personal ramblings, I wrote it down because I was thinking exactly this about you before I read this post. Of course I don't 'know' you, but you've really been coming across as more and more 'gathered' and altogether at peace in your writings.

    ReplyDelete
  20. Congratulation for the great post. Those who come to read your Information will find lots of helpful and informative tips.

    Peace

    ReplyDelete