ten thoughts on a wednesday |38|


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over the past few days, i heard/read a few tidbits about children being separated from their parents at the us-mexico border. life has just been whizzing by, and i hadn’t taken the time to read up on what exactly is going on. this morning, while moses was happily splashing in the bath and gabriel was snoozing, i decided i better become informed. at the suggestion of a friend, i read this synopsis of the situation. and i am horrified. (i also listened to this podcast, which was really helpful in understanding some context/reasoning.)
how is this actually happening in my country?? i am disgusted and heartbroken, and i feel so helpless. but the article linked above has some good suggestions on how to help, and i just hope and pray that the combined efforts of many will lead to change, soon. 
today i’ve been holding my two boys a little closer and have been caring for them with profound gratitude in my heart. 
dear reader: if you have any further suggestions for how to help those families that have been separated, please leave a comment on this post. also, if you support this policy, i would sincerely like to understand why, and i invite you to leave a comment with your thoughts. 

i’m not sure how to segue from that topic into any other - all the rest of the thoughts i planned to post today seem so utterly insignificant and frivolous when i think about those children and parents separated from each other! but maybe this one will provide some sort of transition:
i love my sons so, so, so much. often, as we go out our regular days, i just feel like my heart is going to clobber all my other organs because it is so swollen with love for moses and gabriel. the other day i was kissing little mo’s face repeatedly. i couldn’t stop myself. he was giggling and then said, “lots of kisses, mama!” gabriel just gives a little coo when the kisses have become excessive :) 

a friend of mine posted the following as a caption to an instagram photo on mother’s day, and i can’t stop thinking about it … i love it!:
“some days motherhood feels like 99% trying to convince a little human that your face is not a race car track and 1% being so unbelievably grateful that it is.” 

yesterday i got to go to yoga for the first time in about a month and it felt soooo good to be back on the mat, breathing and moving and flexing and relaxing. lately i have been feeling quite self-critical of my body, and i am actively working on turning those feelings into actions that help me be more physically healthy and/or remembrances of how proud i am of the life-giving work my body has done over the past several years.
exercise is such an important factor in my personal well-being, and i have been trying to figure out a sustainable way to make it a a truly everyday part of my life with two babies. i love what exercise teaches me about self-control, challenges, work, strength, attitude, and my soul. i am really passionate about the importance of caring for our physical bodies. 

i feel like i am at a crossroads in my life when it comes to personal physical self-care. i think i have allowed for a bit of imbalance as i’ve sacrificing my body in many ways to pregnancy, breastfeeding, and caring for small humans. because we don’t plan to try for another baby for a while, i plan to spend some of the next year or so really caring for my body and physical appearance. i have invested in some skincare products that i intend to use diligently, i am going to up my makeup game a bit (that’s really not hard to do, since i use hardly any makeup), i’m devoting some time and money to building a small wardrobe of quality clothes that i really like, and i’m planning to run a marathon next june (at which point i hope to be in the best physical shape of my life). i think that, as long as i keep the balance in check, investing a bit more in personal physical self-care will help me be better when it comes to the things in life that really matter. 

about every other day or so i think to myself, “how did I think having one child was hard???” and then i try to remember what it was like to be childless and just do whatever i wanted to do whenever i wanted, when no little person depended entirely on me. wild. i feel like becoming a mom has broadened my capacity in so, so many ways - and going from one child to two has certainly kept the growth trending up.

a couple weeks ago, i downloaded the app marco polo, and i LOVE it. it’s such a perfect tool for me to connect with loved ones back home in the states. i love getting friends’ messages and seeing their faces! i’ve got to get my family going on it this summer when we are together at bear lake. 

time is simultaneously so precious and so easy to waste. throughout my days lately i’ve tried to stop and ask myself, “is what i am doing right now truly productive?” this helps me to hold on to more minutes and hours that are truly the greatest resource and gift! 

i’m preparing a talk to share with one of the church congregations in london this coming sunday, and some of the main ideas i want to make are:
-we can ask god specific questions, and get specific answers. this is the way to developing personal testimony.
-we can chose to feed faith amidst doubts, or we can chose to feed doubts at the cost of faith. both faith and doubt will always be present in some way or another; we get to decide what to do with them.
-like any skill or strength (physical, mental or spiritual), we must exercise faith in order to maintain it and grow it. 

my parents are continuing to work to leverage the amazing tool of social media to share valuable marriage and parenting ideas. at the beginning of every week they post a quick tip for families on their instagram account, and followers can delve a bit deeper by following links to podcast, videos, articles, etc. my mom and dad have zero incentive to do this other than a deep and genuine desire to help strengthen families. their stuff is practical and empowering. i invite you all to follow them @richardlindaeyre!

happy wednesday! life is really beautiful, even with lots of suffering happening in the world. i hope we can see the best of humanity as we come together to try to stop cruel things (that seem like the worst of humanity) from happening. 

lately in london


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often, in the evenings, moses pulls up a chair to our front window and sits down to watch and wait for daddy to come home. he does this totally unprompted! he freaks out when he sees ian coming down the street … always a joyful reunion for everyone.
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one day we went back to our old neighborhood and visited the london transport museum. it had been a while since we’d been there and mo had a blast. 
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every time i go to covent garden these days, i feel so nostalgic. i really miss living there, in the very heart of london, but i also love where we live now so much. and it’s hard for me to be in the area without popping in to get a shack burger at shake shack (and some crinkle fries for moses!). 
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at the beginning of the month, gabriel started smiling, and we love seeing his grins (with dimples!) soooo much!!
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we’ve had some really warm days and some fun at different splash pads/paddling pools, like this one in the courtyard at the victoria & albert museum. 
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i was brave and took the boys to the zoo one morning. it takes an hour to get there from our flat, and we had some misadventures on the journey home. while we were at the zoo we had a great time, but i decided that activity is best for when ian can join us :) 
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on my birthday morning we went to an indoor soft play area that moses loved. i was surprised that he was brave enough to go down all the slides, including the big ones intended for kids over five (since the place wasn’t busy, the workers there said he could go wherever he wanted). it was a blast!
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we had a little birthday party gathering with the friends we made in the prenatal class we took before moses was born. it’s always so great to gather with them and especially to see all the kids that have known each other since the womb play together. now those little babies are about to turn two! and it turns out that it’s even harder to get a picture of a bunch of almost two year olds than it is to get a picture of a bunch of almost one year olds, haha! (second picture is the same kids in the same place twelve months ago!) 
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gabriel is slaying us with his cuteness, and moses is super obsessed with his “moomin” stuffed animal that our sweet midwife gave him (we took a polaroid picture of mo and moomin to send with a thank you card to her!).
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one birthday gift ian gave me was a reservation at duck & waffle - a top-floor restaurant with incredible views in the city of london (financial district). we had suuuuch a fun date night there a couple of days after my birthday. ian timed our reservation for sunset - so we could see the city in the daylight and sparkling after dark - and requested a table right by the window. it was a pretty magical evening.
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i got out mo’s “my dad is super rad” onesie for gabe to wear in preparation for father’s day // two of my friends from the time I spent at byu were in town for a medical conference so i got to have a really fun girls’ night out with them! 
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here’s ian walking to church on father’s day - pushing one little son in a buggy and carrying another little son on his chest. he is the best dad ever. he’s deliberate, patient, silly, earnest, playful, involved and tender. i knew he would be a fantastic dad but he has far exceeded my expectations. we are sooo lucky!!
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after church and naps on father’s day, we went on a family walk in kensington gardens, and moses stole the glasses off his daddy’s face while getting a shoulder ride. he thought it was pretty hilarious :) it was a really happy day celebrating moses and gabriel’s dad and also charity and ian’s dads! 
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moses loves to look for mr. peacock in holland park, and this morning not only did we find him, but he put on an amazing show for us! 
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this boy reminds me to exult and enjoy and embrace simple pleasures. i love hanging out with him and his baby brother every day. 
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we are having a great summer in the city!

picnicking among the roses


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i had a birthday this week! to celebrate, we had a picnic at my favourite spot in all of london - queen mary’s rose garden in regent’s park. i’ve spent my birthday evening in this dreamy place every 12 of June that we have lived in this city. i think it’s one of the best traditions of all time. (2016, 2017)

our family picnic among the roses was the icing on the cake of a fantastic day. ian surprised me and took the day off of work!! (such an awesome gift!!!) we delighted in moses’s delight at an indoor soft play area and then i took myself out to lunch and to get a pedicure. little mo was so excited about presents and cake and the birthday song, little gabe was as sweet as can be, and ian made me feel so deeply loved and cherished.

such a great birthday! 

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^^ ian and mo bought me cupcakes and cool candles. can you spot moses’s finger pointing excitedly at the treats? :) ^^
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^^ someone definitely enjoyed a chocolate cupcake! ^^
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^^ while it was fun to chase moses around the roses, and breastfeed gabriel among the fragrant beauty, i think next year i may get a babysitter and enjoy the picnic with just my husband :) ^^
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^^ mo isn’t really into the sit-still-and-smile-at-the-camera thing, haha! ^^
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^^ here he is picking out a treat that was a bribe for sitting on this bench for a photo ;) ^^
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if you would have asked me five or ten years ago what i would want my life to look like when i turned 32 years old, i’m pretty sure i would describe pretty much exactly the life i am living. there are some real challenges, but my life is my fondest and wildest dreams come true. i am so grateful to look forward to another year of sinking my teeth into life on this beautiful earth.