dripping with passion

right now i am sitting in my empty classroom. it's clear out day, and i still can't believe it's all over...it has felt surreal all weekend. i knew taking on this job would be difficult, and i also knew somewhere in my heart that it would be deeply rewarding, but i could not have realized in my wildest imaginations how intensely challenging and incredibly enriching this adventure has been. three and a half months ago i was praying so hard that they would find someone else to fill the role, and today i am praying with so much gratitude that i was the one to fill it. it's funny how life works like that. this whole experience feels like the epitome of one of my life's mantras - hard is good . i said those three little words to my students every single day, and told them in my graduation speech that that is the most important thing i want them to remember me teaching them. every challenge is an opportunity -- cherish the chances you have to do hard things. ther...

we did it! we made it to the end of the year, these thirty eight 8th graders and i. (two were missing for cap & gown pictures) yes, i've super been looking forward to this day - when these three months of craziness would end - so so much. but sheesh, i miss these kids tremendously already. aren't they just the cutest thing you've ever seen? i am so proud of them as my students and as my friends. the last day of school was pretty special. we wrote our dreams and goals on yellow balloons and sent them up into the wide blue sky, we signed yearbooks and reflected on things we have learned (toasting to a great year with some jamba juice). we got in a big circle and shared appreciations for each other, and many sweet genuine tears were shed. my heart was a big ole puddle. i was the last to share an appreciation, and this is what i told my students: when i was asked to take over teaching the 8th grade class, i was incredibly overwhelmed. i had to make a lot of sac...

this is my last week of teaching. i have chosen to return to a more administrative job at my school next year. i know this is the right decision for me in this time of my life, and in may ways i am relieved and excited to leave full-time teaching behind for now, but i am also feeling quite melancholy. i have really really loved many aspects of teaching, and i can't believe how much i have been positively stretched during these wild three months thrown into a crazy classroom. i will forever cherish this experience and how it has changed me. and oh! how i will miss my students. i've been having a hard time not getting misty the past few school days as i think about my days without these often difficult but so so wonderful kids. i'm really glad for this opportunity i've had to learn that "attitude is the difference between an ordeal and an adventure." these 12 weeks of teaching have been quite the ordeal, but since i have strived to approach them with the ...

i present to you: the first graduating class from alpha public schools: we took a class picture to hang in the office forever, and i hopped in at the last snap. these extraordinary (although often patience-trying!) young people have impacted my life in big, big ways. i love them. fun end of the year things: -we took a field trip to san francisco. somehow i got thirty-eight thirteen-year-olds from our school to fisherman's wharf to ocean beach to the san francisco zoo and back again without any major problem (we did loose a few students for a while at the wharf...). it was a totally crazy day. but it felt in a lot of ways like hanging out with thirty-eight of my best friends. we spend so much time together. i love them. aren't they darling? i am struck again by how angelic they mostly all look in this picture... in many ways deceiving, but also! they each have such a light. -we had a school dance! it was outside under the scorching sun right after school, and the teac...

last week was teacher appreciation week. and honestly, i deserved some appreciation. i have really been working my butt off – basically 6am to 11pm every day. what i’m doing is pretty insane actually: thirty eight challenging adolescents with wildly different capabilities, teaching all 8th subjects with no grade-level team or provided curriculum to plan from, extended school days and two rounds of state testing, and all that with zero training to run off of. i think it’s been the most challenging thing i’ve ever done in my life (rivaled only by the mission). the tidbits of sweetness during teacher appreciation week sure were a bit of balm to my worn down spirit. one student, knowing that i don’t eat treats (except on holidays), brought me this luscious bucket full of colorful fruit to enjoy while the other teachers had donuts – so thoughtful!   i also got some pretty fantastic notes from a few of my students. those kids can be so incredibly funny and clever and sweet, and i real...

i loved teaching today. i really loved it. and after all the insane wild craziness that has been the past six weeks of my life as an 8th grade teacher, i can't even explain how good that felt to love it today. coming back from spring break was pretty rough ... i didn't get nearly as much work done as i'd hoped, and i had nearly forgotten how busy my teaching life is back here in california. i was feeling pretty stressed and overwhelmed as i stood behind my students in our "monday morning congress." during every monday morning congress, teachers acknowledge students that have earned "feathers." receiving a feather is just getting a little nod that your teacher has really noticed that you've been exemplifying one of our school's core values (ambition, leadership, perspective, hard work and attitude). this monday, after i told the entire student body about two students in my class that deserved feathers, i noticed three of my eighth grade...

so apparently today is national sibling day (thanks for the heads up, instagram). since i clearly win at that (i have the best siblings, truly), i feel pretty celebratory. also because: -today was an awesome day in my classroom. i feel like i am - just a little bit - getting my feet under me. today i didn't cry, and i didn't feel dizzy with stress in the midst of chaos (i have almost fainted a few times in days passed), and i didn't feel like i'd been a jerk disciplining kids. my class was happy, and we really learned some good stuff!  -i left school before 9pm! and was pretty much prepared for tomorrow by 5pm!  -i have been planning for our next history unit, and i am really excited about it. it includes the mormon migration west (obviously hits home for me) and the mexican american war (hits home for most of my students). i really enjoy teaching history. -tomorrow our principal is going to be a guest teacher in my classroom. which means i get a mid-day...

this afternoon after dismissal i sat at a student desk in my classroom and put my head down and cried. it was a hard day.  so tonight i needed something to make me smile. and these pictures of the people i love most crammed into cars cruising around bali sure did the trick. yes, my mom is lying across the laps of three of her sons in a balinese taxi. she's the coolest. in the top picture, we were headed to bike down a volcano. in the middle picture we were returning to our beach villa after a day of scuba diving. and in the last picture we were on our way to a delicious lunch before some hiking through rice paddies to swim through a waterfall. oooooh, it was the best trip ever! 

dear reader,  i know, i've posted almost exactly this same type of list over and over lately. but more exciting blog posts are on their way soon (some thoughts on feminism and womanhood. pizza recipes. san francisco. bali!), i promise! for now, i'm kind of in survival mode. i'm so grateful for some rest this weekend, and i think things are going to slow down week by week, thank goodness! and i'm learning a lot about hard work, balance, winging it, and what motivates twelve year olds. so that's good.  here's what's in my survival kit: trader joe's. i think it's pretty obvious on this blog that i am pretty into trader joe's. but seriously, some tj's stuff has really gotten me through these crazy weeks. the pre-packaged salads are delicious and the perfect lunch to bring to school. there are some yummy snacks to keep in my classroom (i've recently fallen in love with the thai lime & chili cashews and the dried unsweetened per...

we had no school today, thanks to cesar chavez day. i'm not going to lie, i had to google cesar chavez to figure out why exactly  he earned a holiday. pretty rad guy. i'm just so grateful to the extra time he gave me this weekend. i spent the entirety of the day working, but it was soooo nice to have the time to plan and grade and prep, rather than teach, especially after my first wild week. annnnd, since it was a holiday after all, i got my first taste of the season of my beloved easter candy. i still feel like i am miles and miles and miles  away from being on top of all of my work. i had nineteen parent-teacher conferences last friday, and nineteen more to go in the next week. i'm re-learning algebra and physical science and building a curriculum around u.s. history and civil war novels. i'm trying to keep track of interventions for certain students, enrichment activities for my high-flyers, hundreds of papers to grade, bullying issues...

well. i don't think i've ever been this tired before. i flew from bali to taiwan to san francisco and landed at 8pm on sunday night. after two hours of custom lines and baggage claim, i made it home by 11. the jetlag kept me up for a couple hours lesson planning. i woke up at 5:30 and got to school by 6:45. my eighth graders came in the classroom door at 8:25. they'd had a hard week with a sub while i was on the other side of the world, and all the change in their classroom put quite a kink in their (already quite difficult) behavior. several lessons hadn't been taught and due dates hadn't been communicated, there were stacks of ungraded worksheets lining my desk, and my body was telling me it was 3am. miraculously, we've made it through three days, those thirty-eight eighth graders and i. i've been working nearly non-stop from 6:00am to midnight (with a break for dinner and exercise). it has sure been a wild ride, and we're just barely, bare...

at the middle school where i work, we have just one eighth grade class. when the school started last year, the plan was to open with just sixth grade classes, and add a grade of students each year. but the parents that had earnestly petitioned our school leaders to start a charter middle school in the community of east san jose had children entering seventh grade that were struggling and falling behind in district schools. so one self-contained seventh grade class of thirty-eight students was formed, and that same group of kids now makes up one self-contained eighth grade class. and that eighth grade class's teacher is having a baby in the next few weeks. and on monday morning, march 24, i will be an eighth grade teacher. i am incredibly overwhelmed by this job transition and new mammoth responsibility. i have spent the past month arranging for all of the work that i have done and developed as a learning coach and blended learning specialist at my school to be done by others...

1. january in palo alto the weather was positively glorious this weekend. on saturday i went on a bike ride with a friend from our neighborhood through the luscious, sun-drenched, tree-lined streets leading to downtown palo alto. we ate lunch outside on a pretty patio – it was just so lovely ! i took a long run along the alpine trail in portola valley that evening at sunset. sunday morning i woke up and hiked in the hills above that same trail, and it was balmy and verdant and so pleasant. not bad at all for the last week in january. 2. running and my body i am training for my second half marathon, which i will run on february 8 in san diego. i am just amazed by and so grateful for my healthy body. like most (all?) women, i often wish my body looked differently in some way or another, but – seriously! – it is magnificent! i love love love the feeling i have after finishing a long run (i don’t always love the feelings before finishing!). 3. following humansofny on instragram i had se...

it was the p.s. that really convinced me to love myself :) every single day lately, i feel a lot of struggle to get out of bed (before the sun comes up!) and get to work. but every single day, the second the first “good mornings” are exchanged with my students, i am glad i am awake and there.

yesterday was the monday of all mondays. coming back to work after two full weeks off? yuck. i went to sleep on sunday feeling pretty overwhelmed. real life sure smacks you in the face after a long break! but i immediately remembered how much i love the students at my school when i arrived on campus at 7:20am. and i was feeling fresh with new years' resolutions under my hair. i decided it was going to be a good day. and, even though i lost my keys and became stranded, it was a good day, and today too. i am buried in new books for our school library that i picked up (for free!) before the break. somehow i've become a librarian. and i kind of love it! i've noticed that the thing i tell students most often is "you get to choose" - you get to choose if you behave well or not, if you work hard and succeed academically or not, if you are respectful or not, if you have a good day or not. and i've realized that i need to keep telling myself the same thing....

yesterday morning in the cafeteria during breakfast time, some students and i danced to thriller together.  it has been a really wild and rough week at school for me, but i just fell more in love with my students as the electrifying buzz of halloween filled campus, and my heart was happy. i could hardly contain my excitement as the students changed into their costumes in the afternoon. it was so fun to see them all dressed up, and to show off my sparkly get-up, too. we had a party in the cafeteria with lots of yummy mexican and vietnamese food and a costume contest. after school, i went to josephine (aka miss frizzle)'s to help her prepare her halloween dinner party. it was delightful to decorate and cook and then enjoy the party together!  then, i went to a party in my neighborhood thrown by some really fantastic girlfriends of mine. it was an outstanding halloween party, truly. the hostesses did an incredible job with the decor and food, and tons of people came, dress...