the same, but different

it is good to be alive.

we've now been back from india for one week. i feel hazy and dreamy and eerie and quite strange - because everything is the same but everything is different.

it's funny how heaven sends little tender mercies to fill in the spaces when transitions happen in life. here are a few i've noticed in the last week.

- all together, we traveled 64 hours to get home from our last stop in varanasi and due to a train that was five hours late, we missed our flight and had to buy another and our exciting stopby in bangkok became just an 11 hour layover in the airport. ok, no, that is not the tender mercy, but what is is that on the 15 hour plane ride from taipei to los angeles, new moon was one of the movie options. yes, please.

- our layover in l.a. was also made brighter because miley cyrus's "party in the usa" was stuck in our heads as we "hopped of the plane at lax." we were literally dancing through customs because we were so grateful to be in america again.

- getting a pedicure with my mom and sister and watching the lady shave off layers of dead, dirty, india-worn skin. sorry for the gore, but seriously it was awesome.

- the day after we got home i went to the logan temple with my parents, uncle, cousins and grandma. something about three generations in the temple sends a wonderful chill down my spine.

- i now fully appreciate the water pressure from our shower in our little house that before seemed quite run-down but now seems like a palace. all i can say is the 6 or 7 showers i've taken since we've been back have been the best of my life.

- a new discovery: cinnamon crunch bagels from smith's toasted with plain cream cheese. so stinking good. and what's more, our roommates threw a big "cereal dance party" the weekend of our return and not only was it exhilarating and invigorating to dance my little heart out on our living room dance floor, but there are about 15 bags of sugary cereal left over that are now at my disposal.

- in dani's absence (she's been with family in draper), i have been sleeping in her bed to keep sara company, and okay, i admit, to take advantage of her electric blanket which has quickly become my favorite thing ever. utah is a tad cooler than india so i have loved cozying up nice and toasty.

- a sassy neice named grace who came to have a sleepover with me at my parents' house when i felt lonely to stay there all alone. it was a full-on slumber party complete with ice cream, a disney flick, lots of pez, hot tamales and popcorn. and for breakfast? pancakes with nutella and syrup and a batch of chocolate chew cookies.

- hanging out with gracie's sister lucy, who is so cute that i want to kiss her chubby cheeks right off and who now responds perfectly to the question "who's your favorite aunt?" ("chi chi" of course).

- i drove home from park city the canyon way last night as the sun went down and it was spectacular. crisp, clean mountain air, the ice covering the resevoirs glimmering with the yellows and pinks of twilight and good music ringing my ears as i twisted through the snow-covered hills. thrilling.

- coming home to wonderful roommates and sitting on the floor in the living room talking about everything from pheromones to premintions to ... boys. or giggling like little girls in the kitchen and reveling and/or moping in our singlehood.

- today i got on my beloved vintage bike and headed to center street to get a sandwich for lunch and ate it by myself on a bench and then rode my bike through the drive-thru atm and then around the streets of south provo and -- it was so, so quiet. i paid careful attention to what i heard, and all i could detect was a distant muffled dog bark, the wheels of my bike swishing, an occasional car driveby, and a rare rustle of branches on the trees on such a calm day. so quiet, so so quiet. no honking, no cows, no crowds, no rustling trash, no beggars, no people wanting to take their photo with me, no skreeching halts or crying babies or rattling language or persistent vendors. just quiet. just still.

- gratitude for fingers, toes, food, shelter, opportunities, education, space, public rubbish bins, paved roads and hope for the future.

i am outrageously blessed.

i also happen to be a little bored, but i'm hoping my schedule will start to fill up soon.

everything is the same, but different.


  1. i'm blog-stalking you! great post!

  2. Man it's great to get inside your head via the blog! LOVE your writing!