i'm a san fran girl

a few days ago, as i was making my way through the electric busy streets of downtown san francisco, i got a text from a dear friend, sharing an uplifting quote.

 "when you push against the boundaries of experience into the twilight of the unknown, the lord will strengthen you. the beauty of your eternal soul will begin to unfold." -richard g. scott

i love that. and it was just what i needed in that moment, feeling like a little lost lamb in a sea of metropolis. i believe what elder scott said is true, and i'm holding onto that hope and assurance as i navigate my way through a new life. because for me, it seems there is no other way to live than consistently pushing against those boundaries of experience, because the twilight of the unknown is so much more sparkly and exciting than the static of what's comfortable and the same.

 the truth is, i really really like it here. my spirit keeps whispering to my mind that i am in the right place and that for now, this is truly where i belong. i keep getting the feeling that things are going to work out (perhaps later than sooner, but still) and that in a while i will have found a glorious home in this beautiful place. i like the diversity of people here, i like the farmers' markets and the jacket weather and the organic food craze and the brown paper bags at the grocery store. i like the magnolia and kumquat trees, the hills and the spirit of free spirits. i like the bay bridge and the golden gate bridge and the kitschy shops and the eclectic neighborhoods. i like that there is so much for me to discover. although i am jobless and relatively friendless, i like that i'm here and that i know that emptiness will change with time.

after i got that brilliant tender mercy of a text, i wandered around san fran for a while. i just followed my heartbeat and my natural steps and found myself on top of telegraph hill at coit tower and i went to the top for a little glance over the city. it was foggy. but it was still thrilling. just little me on top of this tower in this city. i'm a san fran girl. 

sights i saw wandering around the city

views from the top of coit tower

i'm learning to be patient with myself and with the process. i do like it here but in many ways life feels lonely, scary and hard. hard is good. yes, hard is good! hard is also hard. but like elder scott said, "when was anything really worthwhile easy?" and eventually "there are those golden moments of success that make all of the hardships worthwhile." they're coming. i can feel it in my bones.

yesterday i drove across the golden gate bridge! it sent a delightful thrill down my spine! 

here's where i sleep. i put together that dresser all by myself! quite the feat. hopefully i will have a real bed soon. more pictures of the house coming!