late one frigid december night three years ago i finished the last paper of my college career, submitted it to my professor via email, and then put on my cap and gown over my pajamas and had a jubilant dance party in my dorm room.
this was my version of college graduation. three weeks later i left to serve a mission. a year and a half later i came home and found my diploma framed on my bed. not much career training or preparation. i instantly became a little lost lamb in the big real world.
i am sure i am in the right place, and deep, deep in me i am sure that at the right time i will find a good job that will help me to figure out what i want to do and develop my career. because of this assurance, the job hunt so far has been optimistic and not entirely encompassing in my new life. but, after two and half months, i'm starting to feel the twinges of desperation.
so many people have been so gracious to offer tips, leads, connections and advice. i have learned a lot from exploring down lots of alleys that have turned into dead ends. i have felt so small and insecure and so empowered and excellent. it has been quite a journey, and i have enjoyed its vicissitudes, but the past week or so i have felt so ready to be done and on my way down a career path. i feel that this is only natural, but i refuse to be discouraged and decide each day that i can only continue to be hopeful and optimistic.
my real problem is that i love everything. and i feel that i am generally pretty capable. i think i could be a good nurse or a good social worker, and really enjoy that job. i think if i wanted to, i could chose to be trained in more technical fields, and i would excel if i put my mind to it. i maybe could be an awesome teacher or curator or therapist. i could enter the corporate or financial world and decide to be the world's best administrative assistant. i perhaps could even harness my creative tendencies and figure out how to become a designer or a photographer or a art critic. in any of these capacities i could chose to really love my job. because i just like life and people in general. so what am i to do? sometimes i think i need to just choose. thus, i am overwhelmed.
anyway - the job hunt is frustrating and demoralizing and challenging - but that's the point, and that's the adventure i chose for this time in my life. i have been working part time for my brothers' company (imagine learning) and for an older couple who have asked me to help organize the paperwork in their offices and i still occasionally pick up a babysitting job here and there. i admittedly haven't been working too hard on finding a job as i've stayed busy with all of that and since i've been traveling a bit and enjoying an almost constant flow of visitors. but i'm diving back into it tomorrow morning.
cross your fingers or send some good karma out to the universe for me!
p.s. i hate blog posts without pictures, so here is one of the view from the plane as i headed out to arizona a few weeks ago (more on that to come!). i love this city. at first i thought it must be mostly novelty that was making me soooooo excruciatingly excited about san francisco, but i honestly have come to adore this place more and more every day.