hold it all until it hollers

i like slices of life when i feel like this - (from a tree grows in brooklyn)
francie stood on tiptoe and stretched her arms wide. 'oh, i want to hold it all!' she cried. 'i want to hold the way the night is - cold without wind. and the way the stars are so near and shiny. i want to hold all of it tight until it hollers out, "let me go! let me go!"'

on saturday, on a cliff overlooking the city and the ocean, i wanted to hold the way the evening was - chilly with a bite of wind, and the way the sleepy sun made the colors otherworldly beautiful. i wanted to hold it all tight until it hollered.

so, i tried this:
she decided to fix this time in her life exactly the way it was this instant. perhaps that way she could hold on to it as a living thing and not have it become something called a memory.

the company made the views even more splendid. this weekend i had 8 friends visit from utah. it was an adventure and a blessing (more on the epic weekend later).

but oh! that sublime hour in the marin headlands! i felt so human and so alive in that place and time. it made me want to pray like francie -

'dear god, let me be something every minute of every hour of my life. let me be gay; let me be sad. let me be cold; let me be warm. let me be hungry...have too much to eat. let me be ragged or well dressed...let me be honorable and let me sin. only let me be something every blessed minute. and when i sleep, let me dream all the time so that not one little piece of living is ever lost.'

i've been a san franciscan for three months. i really like my life. i don't want to miss one tiny piece.


  1. i was there. i was there. just with my family! don't forget about me! i was on the other side of the golden gate bridge eating chinese food and talking to the missionaries! also, jae looks so handsome in that last pic. way to go jae.

  2. Aw! I love you! And all of us! What a fun trip. Thanks for making it so lovely!

  3. Looks like you had some great visitors! What scenery - I want to go there.

    Also I LOVE A Tree Grows in Brooklyn. That book is amazing.