so sew so magical

here is our christmas tree. a little low on funds, i decorated it with two strings of lights, ornaments left over from the ward party, ribbon and paper chains. i love it so much. whenever i am home i cuddle up by it, bewitched by its glow. when i come home at night and see it sparkling in the window my heart sings, it really does. "o christmas tree" to be exact. oh! i love it so much.
my friend krystal was in town interviewing for a job this weekend. it was so fun to see her after a three year separation. krystal and i were the token mormons in our class at wellesley, and she was a great blessing in my life, and still is. another one of those that i see after so long yet feel like no time has passed. i took her to baker beach and it was soooo foggy but sort of enchanting as the fog horns belted, and as we drove out of the presidio we drove out of that cloud to behold a stunning sunset kissing the hills. i gushed about how much i love san francisco because its beauty was exploding in front of us and because i really want krystal to keep applying to jobs here and move here. we strolled through chinatown, had dinner, and were dazzled by the lights at union square, which really are magical.
we invited some friends over on sunday evening and i felt so in love with this house. we had hot chocolate milk, pumpkin cookies and cranberry pecan cookies, a fire in the fireplace, the tree ablaze, the hum of holiday music and the chatter of chums. i didn't take any pictures. imagine this full of happy people and that definite glow of christmas goodness - that feeling that makes you want to just sit quietly and watch everyone while your heart smiles (like the cheesy montages in movies).
it is so hard to take a good picture of the entry way, but i love it all decorated. also imagine a fire in the fireplace.
tonight i went to see the san francisco ballet's nutcracker. i adore the nutcracker, and this production was pure magic. the performing arts, especially dance, get me every time, every time. the snow queen scene had me blinking back tears and my fingertips tingled. i was wide and starry eyed, delighted and amazed throughout the entire ballet. the war memorial opera house is a gorgeous building, and we got to see all of it because we sat on the very back row. steph mentioned that it felt like we were in a music box. so true. i think one of the reasons i love the nutcracker so much is that i dream of having clara's dream - a handsome prince, traveling the world and miraculously transforming into a ballerina.

beside all this magic and merriment (which has been oh so real), the truth is that i really just want to listen to joni mitchell's "river" over and over. such a sad, sad song. the first true weep of the san francisco chapter of my life arrived on monday. in my car pulled over with blue and red lights flashing in the dark night - the straw that broke the back. a blubbering sob - sometimes it just has to happen. it has been a peachy four months, but i've hit a wall, and i feel so glad for the new beginnings that come with a new year.


  1. Grandma and I are reading this together and loving your passion for life! We send our Christmas love. We're going to MISS you this year!

  2. nutcracker looked so fun! what a perfect way to get in the spirit...

    loved t.h. with my bff tonight! merriest of christmases, you are the best & promise me you'll never forget it.