i just discovered these emboldening thoughts from steve jobs's 2005 commencement speech at stanford:
again, you can't connect the dots looking forward. you can only connect them looking backwards, so you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. you have to trust in something--your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever--because believing that the dots will connect down the road will give you the confidence to follow your heart, even when it leads you off the well-worn path, and that will make all the difference.
sometimes life's going to hit you in the head with a brick. don't lose faith…your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work, and the only way to do great work is to love what you do. if you haven't found it yet, keep looking, and don't settle. as with all matters of the heart, you'll know when you find it, and like any great relationship it just gets better and better as the years roll on. so keep looking. don't settle.
your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. don't be trapped by dogma, which is living with the results of other people's thinking. don't let the noise of others' opinions drown out your own inner voice, heart and intuition. they somehow already know what you truly want to become. everything else is secondary.
lots of stuff like this is keeping me going. i am determined to feel the full extent of this mortal experience and to kick it in the butt and press forward.
my mom serendipitously was in town for 8 hours on monday night (rerouted flight). i cried to her for a few of those hours. at the end, she said, “you’re going to be okay.” i said, “i’m going to be awesome.” all i need is to summon a little extra trust in my heart, trust in the lord, brilliantly replenished positivity, and maybe just a bit of luck.
i tried to channel some good fortune my way by celebrating the day of luck at san francisco’s st. patrick’s day festival and parade a few days back.
kels and i caught flying candy and scored some green beads, boogied with a tuba player in a marching band, decided to get in on the parade ourselves and walked a few blocks waving at happy onlookers, ate some corn beef and cabbage sandwiches, chilled on the sunny grass with a bunch of tipsy pot-smoking teens, danced our hearts out with the celtic band and then met up with josephine and of course a leprechaun:
i’m pretty sure we scored some luck of the irish.
another lucky thing that has happened recently is that my so-loved friend and old roommate jessica was in town for one night for a conference. love this girl.
i love that life feels hard!!! good things are ahead, and great things are right here.
postscript: yes, i realize that this blog seems extremely self-absorbed right now (or always?). that’s because i sometimes feel excruciatingly self-absorbed right now (not always, i promise). i get it, i hate it, i'm sorry, i'm working through it.