live every day of your life

“never stop striving for the best that is within you. never stop hoping for all of the righteous desires of your heart. but don’t close your eyes to the simple and elegant beauties of each day’s ordinary moments that make up a rich, well-lived life…
“the happiest people i know are not those who find their ‘golden ticket’; they are those who, while in pursuit of worthy goals, discover and treasure the beauty and sweetness of the everyday moments. they are the ones who, thread by daily thread, weave a tapestry of gratitude and wonder throughout their lives. these are they who are truly happy.”
-president dieter f. uchtdorf

grace cathedral yoga, every tuesday evening: cold marble, glowing windows, live mystic music, colorful mats, “om” reverberating through the tall rafters, downward dog
coming home to orange flowers and views of pink/purple sunsets over the ocean

baking and cooking adventures – the best when roommates are all creating yum together.
one recent experiment: pumpkin, rosemary and arugula pizza
pretty flowers found while window shopping on union street (this day also included a blues festival on polk street) – taking the kids i nanny to the pumpkin patch across the golden gate bridge

on days i work at batter bakery, i go into the kitchen and help finish and package handcrafted baked goods. we share the kitchen with a few other companies, and the smell is always interesting, and more often than not there are pig faces staring up at me when i go in the walk-in refrigerator. 
then, i hop in the “battermobile” and cruise to make deliveries and report for sales duty at the kiosk. there are few places i have been happier in san francisco than in this mini driving around town. 
i sit in a glass tube in the middle of the financial district and make people’s day a little sweeter with cookies, brownies, shortbread and the like. i love watching people, meeting people, smiling at people.

the view of the inside of the kiosk – the view of the outside of the kiosk.
i’m literally in the epicenter of my city and it throbs around me and the cable cars ring by and i love it all so very much. when i leave the kiosk to go to the bank or bathroom, i feel gallant between the skyscrapers.

one day i was sitting in the kiosk reading when a loud bang crashed the glass around me.
it was my brother! who was in town for a work conference. he bought some cookies.
i told customers all day about his visit.

another of my three jobs: i have become the smith family scrapbooker – these are pages from 1979. i sit in this beautiful room and create photo layouts to help preserve a family history, and i always feel a bit nostalgic for memories that aren’t even mine. it makes me realize there is a lot more life to live.
flora at the park; henry at soccer practice. i feel real love for these kids and i like to think i am a beloved nanny. i pick them up from school, take them to soccer and piano, make them mac and cheese, take them to the bookstore, ride the bus with them, create playdough masterpieces with flora and face off with henry spinning “bayblades” or playing chess. i love being their babysitter, and i really feel like it is good practice for parenthood, and i really feel like i am a positive force in their lives and minds and hearts.

in san francisco, sure to wear flowers in our hair. henry and i get on just fine, but flora is my snuggly sidekick. i even made it onto her “best friends list” last week! check out her wink!
 
our friend stacey is moving to idaho falls, so kelsey, steph and i took a day off work to go with stacey to some of the places she wanted to check off her list before moving away. it was a perfect san francisco day – a little chilly but sunny and super crystal clear. we went to ike’s place (best sandwich of your life) and bi-rite creamery (eating cinnamon snickerdoodle ice cream is maybe better than kissing a cute boy) and picnicked in dolores park. we went to ocean beach, sutro baths, and the lyon street stairs. it was a glorious day of kef (n: state of drowsy contentment; cool word, huh?).

i have been getting really into making neat-o birthday cakes lately. for kelsey (extreme lover of bacon and of chocolate)’s birthday i made a bacon double chocolate cake – homecooked bacon bits in the batter and in the frosting and a layer of bacon strips between the two cakes.

and for katie’s birthday kels helped me made a surprise tie die cake! i was a little obsessed with it.

saturday mornings at alemany famers’ market make me happy. look at that incredible rainbow chard.
(high school, now married friend) missy and i met up for dinner and then sample strolling at the castro evening farmers’ market. despite the fall chill that has recently come to sf, there is something so balmy about this sparkly atmosphere lighting up the night.
i love farmers’ markets. just had to say. in italics and in bold.

mission murals! street art is a new, real passion of mine. i pass so much cool color and pattern explosions everyday when i’m working in the mission.
i love art outside, on buildings, in front of our faces.

do you ever wish for an internal brain camera that could just grab a snapshot of all the tiny beauties, oddities and intrigues you see along your way? i do. my life right now is convex with tidbits i wish i could capture – these pictures are so skim. right here and now in my life, i’m so interested in what is around me all the time. i want to imprint it all on me; i want it to shape me and carry me onto the next and the next of life. one day i’ll be looking back at old pictures with sighs like the woman i scrapbook for does so tenderly.

my life feels so random, and often it feel so hard. i have sundays where all i want to do is curl up in bed and cry and cry. but i love that it feels difficult because that means i am striving. i’m glad that i’m not just doing any old thing just to get by. i’m glad that i feel anxiety to find my life mission. somehow, i am happy to feel at times very lost and very lonely. i am being human and mortal and learning about the difference between content and complacent. i am living every day of my life.

yes, i love weaving this tapestry of little golden threads that make up my random little life. big changes are coming for me in january – so now i am trying extra hard to “discover and treasure the beauty and sweetness of the everyday moments.”