last night was the lighting of the bay lights. when i heard about this, i knew i couldn’t miss it. public installation art? and a huge light sculpture at that? on the bay bridge??? san francisco, huge crowds, a thrilling, sparkling, iconic moment in time? now that is right up my alley.
but the day of the event fell on a truly stressful day and week for me. work is crazy right now – i am wrapping up a project i have been working on for a year – and i just got back from a weekend trip that left me way behind on everything, and my budget wouldn’t be happy with a tank full of gas or a caltrain ticket to the city, and the boy is dreadfully sick, and i feel entirely overwhelmed. so i flirted with the thought of missing the lighting of the bay lights.
but, oh, how my fomo (fear of missing out!) kicked in. i have it worse than anyone i know. how could i miss this? my yolo (you only live once!) mentality told me to forget about work and other responsible things and go – this is only going to happen once, and it’s my city…a light sculpture on the bay bridge!!
this is a serious wrestle for me – last night’s decision is a microcosm for life in general. i believe i can have it all and i fight, fight, fight to have the best of both worlds, to not make a trade-off, to make both or all work. i think this is a good quality and it has certainly helped me to have it all in many situations throughout my life, for which i am happy and grateful.
but. sometimes you have to say no. and somewhere there is a trade-off. and there is so much power in sacrifice. yes – yolo! since i only live once, i want to make those sacrifices when i can and when i should. because saying no is liberating and ennobling and sometimes so, so right.
i stayed in palo alto last night. it rained in the city and i heard the lighting was quite underwhelming. and the bridge will light up every night for the next two years. so – i guess i actually can have it all.