birthday gratitude

birthdays are strange. for me, all those june 12ths are just so wrapped up in attachments, expectations, memories, longings, wonderings, and strivings. developing a happy relationship with birthdays has been something i’ve had to work on throughout my life, and there’s still a lot for me to learn. lately i have been thinking a lot about the power of letting go, and my birthday was a good opportunity to practice that.
this year, best as i could, i tried to cultivate lots of gratitude amidst the essential celebrations. here are some things that i felt super thankful for on this birthday:
-california sunshine that steams in my window in the mornings.
-friends from all over the world and all different eras of my life and the incredible experiences i have had with them.
-a big family so very full of love (there’s for sure some diffusion of birthday specialness when there are 42 people in your immediate family – yet the love communicated and felt, and certainly not just one day a year, is truly remarkable).
-my angel friend brittany. she brought me my favourite breakfast and set it up all lovely for me. brittany has really truly been such an angel for me, especially in the past few months. and i was keenly touched by the things she did for me on my birthday.
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-coworkers who made my birthday special for me, even though it was a busy day at the office with two new employees joining our team.
-coconut cake.
-parents who i know love and care for me so deeply (and who send me flowers!).
-all the varied things i have learned in my year and a half in my job.
-my year-long splurge at my fancy gym.
-the boy, and his thoughtfulness, and the ways we are different, and all the many ways he makes my life better.
-the warmth and charm of palo alto.
-friends who help celebrate. friends who realize what it will mean to me and so make a long drive to hug me on my birthday (i love you, kels!).
-mint oreo milkshakes.
-technology that connects loved ones (i got to skype with dani in switzerland at the very end of the day).
-all the so-different adventures of mortality.

i am so blessed. i am so excited for a fresh, new year of living, and so very anxious to be better.


  1. So nice! What a good birthday you had :)

  2. Charity,

    I have been reading your blog for a year now. I am always confused..what is it that is wrong and that you do not feel good about?

    Is it the boy? Is something wrong?

    Your writing is so beautiful but often for me so hard to understand.

    I wish we knew more as you seem like such an open person and so happy but yet so full of sadness about your life in so many ways too?

    Out of a place of caring..

  3. As for the other anonymous, I also wonder what it is that's wrong. You're anxious to be better? You seem to live such a wonderful, rich life, and it saddens me that apparently there's something wrong.

    I hope you feel better soon, whatever it is that makes you feel bad.