16 September 2014

my brain is crammed full of...

...braided up-dos, gold flatware, ivory bunting, temple dresses, student assessment data, space saving techniques for tiny apartments, barre classes, ranunculus and dahlias, french macarons, online learning accounts, juicing, first dance songs, plastic forks, videography, mini polaroid pictures, bistro lights, spanish translations of web pages, and so many other things that sometimes i feel like it's going to go ahead and exxxxxxplode. i think i'm not very good at being engaged. sometimes i really want this wild time of my life to be over, but i also want to remember its intensity and its rushes of excitement and its washes of gratitude.

i think my phone camera roll looks a bit like my brain - crammed and colorful!

i am so happy. i am so so very happy. and the peace and assurance that stops any brain exploding is the absolute sweetest. 

28 comments :

  1. I was engaged for 5 months, I know in the LDS world that is really long but I wish now it was longer. You are probably far better and relishing the moment better than I was, but I love looking back at that time. My husband and I love lying in bed and thinking of our "dating stories" it was only three years ago, but it truly is the best, most wonderful time in life. I wish you the best with a hint of jealousy and more extremely wonderful times are ahead.

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  2. Oh, Charity, you have been wishing for this time in your life for as long as I have been reading your blog. Probably since you were 5 years old. Stop complaining and enjoy it. Not sure why you only gave yourself a few months to plan a huge wedding....

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  3. this post was intended to express that i am NOT complaining...! your sentiment is exactly what i was trying to say...i'm sad it came across wrong :(

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  4. charity, you are the cutest! i didn't read complaining - just super-busy-ness and gratitude and joy! XOXO b

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  5. Your dad has been adamant about children from age 8 on, paying for part of their expenses, including basics, like clothes.

    Are your parents expecting you to pay for a portion of the wedding? or do they make an exception, given the sanctity of marriage in the LDS community.

    Apologize for the nosey question....it's just that, your wedding sounds huge and elaborate, and I was curious about how your parents approach this sensitive issue, given their philosophy about entitlement in well to do families.

    With inflation and all, I would imagine this additional question, may be challenging to answer. All that said, do your parents provide you and your now married elder sisters with the same dollar amount for the wedding budget?

    I happen to like and respect your parents approach to raising fiscally responsible children.....hope the questions I am asking, are OK to ask, given their helpful and persuasive writings on children managing money.

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  6. People are being so hateful on this post and annoying, but please ignore them.

    I'm so happy for you, Charity, just as a random blog reader. I'm happy for your having found love, and for having learned to deal with it even when it is hard, and for getting to plan a pretty wedding. And I'm extra happy given that marriage is so important in your religion and culture and personal values. Bless you! I'll be excitedly waiting to see your wedding.

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  7. Agree about the annoying/provocative posts...I'm the anonymous person asking the tacky questions about finances. When I re-read my earlier comment, I asked why would I pose the questions I did---as clearly my timing leaves a lot to be desired. For that, Charity, please accept my apology.

    Just dealing with good old fashioned envy. You are one blessed gal, and it's a challenge to not feel pangs of jealousy. Yet, you have worked to make your good fortune happen. Charity, you are an awesome, passionate, hardworking young woman. You deserve the happiness that is coming your way.

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  8. Entitlement has nothing to do with money. They do lay out a great system for large families about how to distribute money to kids fairly so they don't nag for it and meet your expectations about what is expected of them in order to get the cash. But all in all it is still the parents money that paid for the clothes and everything else. I remember seeing on the parents blog how a brother did a wedding. It was a intimate sit down dinner for the adults and her side that lived here or was able to fly and then they did an open house at their house. Costco flowers. Some picture frames for decoration. Tasteful. With 9 there and input from inlaws the weddings are going to vary considerably from child to child. Entitlement is expecting the world to make exceptions for you. It's got nothing to do with work ethic or money. One element of entitlement was thinking a ring ceremony equalled a wedding for the brides family. Do a sealing a year later. Or marry abroad where they are required to marry civilly and then come back to the US and seal right away with his side since they wouldn't have had to wait a year. That way her side could have seen her marry and they could have sealed ASAP fulfilling their family dream back to back. Or they could have let the couple seal alone with no family members present out of respect for her side that could not come if it was about the couple and not about others. But they were entitled to be there and entitled to override others wishes. They were entitled to be at a sealing, but they were not entitled to be the only family at the wedding. Those are different events. My goodness this girl has seen 7 weddings and finally her turn. I think the only thing extravagant is the size of the wedding. Can't be helped with at least 50 immediate family members between them.

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  9. Oh for heaven's sake, it appears the commenters on Shawni's blog came over here! I didn't take it as complaining at all! Just a bit overwhelmed.

    You don't have to explain anything to anyone or justify costs to tell anyone who is paying for what. Enjoy every minute of your beautiful, wonderful day!

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    Replies
    1. Cheryl,
      Your comment about the commenters from Shawni's blog made me laugh out loud - so true:)

      Delete
  10. To Cheryl Cardall (comment #9 on Charity's blog):
    Please read comment #7. Tank you.

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  11. I think you explain very well how it feels to be engaged. Keep up the awesome work!!!! It is definitely a whirl wind of emotions.:)

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  12. Totally relate. Weddings are awesome and stress filled at the same time! No need to apologize, I didn't get any negative vibes. You simply expressed what I went through as a bride to be and what most women go through when planning a wedding. When your heart was so broken last year, I mourned for you. I think it's absolutely wonderful the experiences that you are having now and that you are happy. Enjoy and don't worry what people say, most people don't feel the way they do anyway.

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  13. My thoughts exactly on the migrating commenters. Great post, and of course all supportive kind-spirited people read it as intended. Let's hope that by not "feeding the trolls" they will eventually stop commenting. One can hope.

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  14. Enjoy this time Charity, you are well deserve it. Noa

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  15. I can totally relate! When I was engaged, I finally broke down and made a huge poster size to-do list and posted it on the dining room wall. Ha! I love your writing- it's real and genuine and filled with so much joy.

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  16. I'm getting married in 10 days and totally relate! After wanting this for so long I was sort of disappointed in myself for not enjoying the process. I just felt incredibly overwhelmed and stressed the whole time. Now that it's almost here, if I had to do it over again I would have stuck to my guns and insisted on a longer engagement earlier on and also hired a wedding planner.

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  17. I think most women find themselves completely overwhelmed with the wedding planning process regardless of the length of their engagement! You can always fill time with more details to decide. You are very creative so I imagine you have many beautiful ideas in your head and just not enough time to get them all figured out. Your day sounds dreamy though. .. Dripping with passion if i do say so myself :)

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  18. Off topic: The internet (and blogs) is a curious thing. I agree that there are complete strangers who feel the need to be hateful and often hide behind the anonymity. What annoys me quite as much are those who consider every comment that isn't all "Yay, you're so great!" as passive-agressive, provocative or mean-spirited.

    Sometimes comments can be only critical, puzzled or thoughtful! It is not true that These are by trolls or haters.

    Especially after the whole "We're going to China-hoopla" and "the boy is back-hoopla", I asked myself why people felt so involved and thought it was necessary to give a comment or even an advice. And I think it is, because Charity, Shawni and their sister Saren btw share so many intimate details on their feelings (check Charity's favorite posts) or lives (p.ex. Shawni's Q&A). Even though they are strangers in real life, they feel like people we know intimitedly and those critical, puzzled and thoughtful comments are nothing else that we would say to friends as well.

    And now that my rant is over, I offer one advice (ha!): Enjoy this wedding planning so much! I have been married for a year and I wish that I could plan another wedding. With the same man though.

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  19. I agree that every comment doesn't have to be butterflies and rainbows. Although, another curious thing about the internet. People feel very safe in saying things that they wouldn't otherwise say if said person was standing right in front of their face. So, my thoughts are very "what we learned in primary", if you wouldn't say it in person, you shouldn't say it in the comments on a person's blog. Even though people are sharing personal things about their lives, it doesn't give a license to be unkind, snarky, mean or even to insist on knowing things that aren't even our business. Just be kind, that is all.

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  20. Love it! I was engaged for 6 months and it was SO stressful. But my day was perfect, as is the man I married. In the end, when you're standing at the alter that day, you'll see the culmination of everything you've been thinking about for months... and it will all be worth it. Promise. :) Try to enjoy it, but I can tell you, I know it's easier said than done!

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  21. Random question, have you found your vendor for macarons yet? My good friend Amy makes the BEST ones here in SLC, seriously they are divine. And I have heard from multiple people they are better than Lauderee (I've never been there, just word of mouth). Anyway, her blog is seinemacarons.blogspot.com if you are still looking! Good luck w/ everything else!!
    -Andrea Jorgensen

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  22. What comment was hateful? You must live a charmed life if "your wedding sounds extravagant" sounds hateful.

    Their family business is being a media voice for how to live life. Even the kids. They are in the books as well. They have made the appearances on TV and on talks. That means people with jump in with jubilant excitement and cautioned are you sure's. And these things would be said in person as well. Deleting a comment is fully in a bloggers power. As well as not answering a question. We all know how their family does things. We know all about Saturday jobs and making decision in advanced and a family economy and broaden and contribute. The parents even write artlcles about how the kids lived varied lives. Some simpler and some more extravagant. I don't believe there has been a book on how they do wedding. So someone asked. Then they even apologized for asking.

    The audience goes well beyond fellow LDS. The purpose is to continue mission work to nonLDS.

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  23. i am a bit nervous to post this with all the high emotions in the comments, but it is an honest question!

    i am non-lds living in the midwest. i love your blog and read shawni's and your parents' blogs as well. i noticed that you are having your reception at your parents' house and the same went for a lds wedding that shawni went to a while back (i think...i have a terrible memory, but am pretty sure).

    so my question is...is that an lds tradition? or a west coast thing? i actually was talking to my aunt about it and neither of us have heard of anyone doing it around here. i have to say, though, i kind of love the idea of having all the people you love in a place that is filled with love!

    best wishes as you finalize wedding plans and head for the big day! you will be a gorgeous bride!

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  24. Charity, one thing I've learned is that everyone has opinions on at least weddings and babies, often strong ones. You have to pick and choose, and decide what reflects you and "the boy". I am so excited to be with you that day and I'm sure it will the perfect celbration for you both. It will all come together and before you know it you'll drive away and heave a huge sigh and look forward with passion to the rest of eternity. Only three weeks left!!!

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  25. Goodness, it didn't sound to me like you were complaining! Just normal bride stuff. Can't wait to hear about all of it.

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  26. I have always followed your blog. Never commented. But just have to say I'm so excited for you and your boy. You make an adorable couple and I know your sealing day will be so wonderful. After our sealing we were so overjoyed we said that's it we don't need anything else. But the reception will be fun!!

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