18 October 2015

comments, privacy, perceptions, haters, sharing, and reality

{i’ve been wrestling with this post all week, and it’s not perfectly articulate and not nearly complete on the vast topic of internet connectivity, but for what it’s worth…here are some of my thoughts…}

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^^ some happy things from the last week here in london: gorgeous flower stand at holborn station (dahlias!) and a lovely arrival of autumn in regent’s park! ^^

the world we live in today is so crazy connected. we can (and do) share like never before. the internet’s power to connect us as a human family can be really amazing and wonderful – enabling digital relating and resonating, allowing us all to collaborate and support each other in some pretty awesome ways. sharing parts of our lives on the internet allows for feedback, both positive and negative, that we can learn from. while we each need to determine carefully and on a personal level how much we want to share and how much we want to digest that others share, i really do believe that there is fantastic value in the incredible connectivity of our world.

of course, besides its merits, our connectivity can engender detrimental competition and comparison, inaccurate perceptions of others’ reality, unhelpful expectations or wants, judgments and jealousy and unkindness. sharing or digesting too much online can distract us hugely from the non-digital, beautiful world around us, can damage our face-to-face relationships, and can even be fundamentally unsafe. as one who has chosen to share a significant chunk of my life online, i am still figuring out the whole wild world of the internet. as i’m grappling with finding the right balances, i’m grateful for the things i am learning and how those things are developing me as a connected human being.

in 2007, i decided to try blogging as a way to stay updated with my family while i was at college. i hastily chose a blog name (dripping with passion is really weird, i know…any suggestions for a new one?!) and started posting things to the internet when blog had just barely became a noun and before it became a verb. as our world became more and more about sharing, more people - including eventually quite a lot of strangers - started reading my blog, and then started interacting with my sharing by leaving comments. the majority of these comments (left directly on my blog or sent to me via email) have been very positive - expressing gratitude, amusement, resonation, inspiration, enjoyment, empathy or encouragement received and given. these comments compelled me to keep sharing, and as i’ve continued blogging i’ve appreciated immensely the connections i’ve made, however surface-level or deep they may be, through this corner of the internet.

but certainly, sharing significant parts of my life on a public blog welcomes not only positive responses and collaboration, but also negative responses and scrutiny. that flip side just comes with the territory, and i fully acknowledge that putting myself out there on the internet necessitates being game for hostile or snarky feedback. i’ve discovered though, that there is a lot to learn from the judgments made and criticism published. antagonistic comments about or assumptions made from what i share on the internet, left here on this blog and elsewhere on the internet, can sting. but i’ve found that if i am thoughtful about these i can usually find some good to glean from them. some opposing responses help me develop a deeper understanding of people different from me. assumptions made in comments often give me an opportunity to understand how i am perceived by others and/or clear up a misconception, and to renew a determination to not judge others, having been judged wrongly. many speculations and conclusions about me, my life, my relationships, and my family are quite amusing because they are so wildly inaccurate, and some are quite perceptive and give me valuable food for thought. i appreciate these chances to acknowledge some of my weaknesses and make changes that will help me become a better human being.

through the crazy connectivity of the world we live in today – including the parts of that connectivity that sometimes hurt or seem adverse - i can learn so much about perception and diversity and myself. and i just think that’s actually really cool. when i add that to the reciprocal inspiration and empathy and burden sharing that also can come in such beautiful ways from our connectivity, i want to keep sharing.

as i share, i truly want to be authentic. and you know what? it’s difficult, impossible really, to be truly real on the internet. in efforts to share not only the photogenic and happy things in life, i am conscious about also posting about the painful parts of my mortality - and that tends to cross into things that are and should remain more private. i want to acknowledge that things aren’t always rosey posey, but it doesn’t feel right to publish on a worldwide forum certain details of struggles or hurt. i want to maintain that some parts of my life are not for sharing, and that means that i cannot ever be one hundred percent real on a blog (or in other points of connectivity in our world).

and so, i do my best to include tidbits about the facts that traveling can be extremely frustrating at times or that marriage is really challenging in many ways or that the transition of moving to a new exciting city can feel crushing. and i hope that by incorporating these nuggets of “reality” i can keep sharing all the immense good and beautiful and lovely around me while still maintaining some sense of authenticity (and also keying into the amazing empathy consequence of sharing mentioned above). often i feel that i am kind of damned if i do and damned if i don’t – when i share things that are not happy i get accused of complaining amidst a really quite outrageously privileged life, and when i let the positive outweigh any negative and share a lot of really happy things, i get accused of being fake. and so, i just keep doing my best to find an honest balance, remembering what i’m learning in sharing when i digest what others share.

yes, in this world of crazy connectivity, i am learning a lot. i am developing understanding around my personal line of privacy, the different ways i am perceived, the manner in which i react and want to be able to react to negativity and scrutiny, and many ways i should and want to improve. i believe my perception of other people, as they also share online, is growing more shrewd and more merciful. like us all, i can’t be perfectly real, but i can try my best to weigh all considerations of connectivity and make my most honest effort as i keep sharing – because there is some powerful beauty in sharing.

haters gonna hate, and rather than shake it off, i’m going to learn from it :)

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^^ and a sunrise from a recent morning run. can you spot big ben? this is trafalgar square, literally around the corner from our flat! ^^

47 comments :

  1. Great words. I think that old adage of "if you can't say something nice then don't say anything at all" is one that many more should adhere to.

    I think we all learn as a society from hearing about other peoples lives and the 'real' - the struggles and challenges - sometimes it can help to hear that others have the same challenges and that we're not alone in what we're going through.

    It can be hard to keep on being authentic and sharing but i think it is the best way and we learn much from your enthusiasm and positive attitude x

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  2. I enjoy reading your blog and those of your family members. I am an OT working with children with all different abilities and I originally stumbled across your sisters blog (71 toes) and then saw yours. I am not Mormon, but I do appreciate and respect all religions and perspectives. What I enjoy most about your blog is your zest for life, beautiful photographs, and world-wide experiences. Keep on keeping on!

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  3. I found your blog through your sister and while you are much younger than I am I love the happiness and vibrancy you bring to the world. Most importantly, I have enjoyed your many adventures and can't wait to take my husband to turkey and go on a balloon ride just like you this summer. Working out the details at this point as we will be coming from Germany, but don't let the negative comments bother you! Some people just like to spit poison for the sake of spitting and others fail to realize that it is your perspective and we all have room for growing. I am glad you are taking a positive look at the situation. It is funny to me how people take blogs to be a true representation of ones life. What one sees is just a small portion and some things are meant to be left private. I once had an old friend not want to meet me because she had misperceptions of what she saw on my blog. I laughed when she shared with me why didn't want to see me because the truth is that I don't travel every day, my kids act crazy, and we don't always eat pinterest inspired meals every night. Keep on wrtting charity you have much light to share in a world filled with so much gloom.

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  4. To begin with I LOVE your title. Dripping with Passion so describes how you write and feelings you share and the way you encompass life. I have met your parents a couple times in random airports and I asked your mom if that was how you were and she said definitely!! Your journey through the last couple years has, in many ways paralleled my daughter's and she has taken a lot of strength from your approach.

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  5. You're awesome! Love the blog exactly as it is!

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  6. Beautiful thoughts. Our world needs to see and feel light and beauty. It is mentally uplifting and can be an incredible healing power to what ails us. We all have problems, whether we choose to expose and share, or keep things private.
    Blogging and the crazy connective vehicle it has become can be tricky. Boundaries are up to the individual writer. Followers interpretations of said writings can be all over the place. That is one of the complexities that arises when you decide to not stay on the side lines and live life "out loud".
    Those who feel the need to comment and create negative space....I guess it is all part of the human experience. Everyone is on a journey...good or bad. We can choose to learn from it all or let it bury us.
    Be true to yourself. It is by far better to live, share and inspire! I am looking forward to many more colorful, passionate and inspiring posts.




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    1. thanks sydney! i agree full-heartedly. i think the benefits for everyone outweigh the complexities that might irk me as the writer.

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  7. This is perfect, Charity :) Keeping being you because I really love it.

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  8. My life is as different from yours as it possibly could be. But one of the reasons I enjoy your blog (and no, I DON'T agree with everything you write, nor do I "see" the world through a similar lens) is that I can't IMAGINE a life more boring or sterile than one in which every interaction (even the passive interaction of reading a stranger's blog online) was an affirmation or an agreement of my views, my perspectives, my opinions.

    (Oh, and I've also discovered a magical secret to not letting bloggery bother me--if I don't like something I've read, I click that wonderful little "X" in the upper-right corner and STOP READING. It's ah-maaayyyy-zing how many days have NOT been ruined, how many tantrums have NOT been thrown, how many irritable moments have NOT been experienced by the kindly intervention of that useful little "X.")

    Seriously, sweetie, don't sweat it. Do what you do, enjoy your life, marinate in your passions, and let the rest of us eyeroll when we need to. We'll ALL get over it. I like you and I wish you well. Warm regards.

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    1. Whoever you are, go you.

      Thank you for understanding the ONE thing a lot of others don't and that is, if you don't like it, stop reading.

      Bam.

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  9. I just have to say that as someone who has limited opportunity to travel, your little corner of the Internet truly and genuinely lifts me. Not only does it give me a peek into the amazement and beauty of both adventure and ordinary life, but it inspires to find the wonder all around me! It also gives me wonderful things to put on my list for "Someday" adventures.

    I really, truly love visiting your site and seeing life through your words and photos. Thanks for letting us have a peek into your beautiful world!

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  10. Charity, the content of your blog is fun. I would, however, like to share some "negative responses and scrutiny" regarding your grammar and punctuation! Hooo Boy!

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    1. haha! i'll take it. feel free to proofread - except i'm not giving up my lowercase letters. i have no idea why i am so attached to them!

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  11. Your blog posts are brave, authentic, colourful, zesty, and yes... dripping with passion! I love reading posts that are different from my worldview and challenge me to think in a different way or consider a new perspective. Thank you for sharing and for being such a bright spot in my weekly read. I was all worried that you were going to go private with your posts as I would miss the joy you exude with your writing. Wishing you all the best. :)

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  12. Charity,

    I came across your blog through Shawni's (which I initially discovered via Pinterest during one particularly rough university lecture three years ago...). I've read Shawni's bog daily since then and throughout that time discovered other family members' blogs, including yours. While I am not inclined to say that you and I couldn't be more different, there are certainly huge differences in the ways we live our lives. Despite that, I don't think there is any reason to criticize the way you're living your life, just as I would hope that you wouldn't criticize my choices. The beauty of living in such an interconnected world is the opportunity it provides for us to see how others live and recognize the diversity in others' lives.

    I check into your blog periodically and also check into the Eyrealm thread on GOMI (which I'm certain is what sparked your post today). I love the contrast that the GOMI thread provides to your family's bogs and how it helps me to think critically about your thoughts and adventure. I think the key in all of this has been thinking critically without being critical. I see no need to bash your choices out of envy, misunderstanding, etc. If I ever get to the point where I can't handle the decisions that a blog writer chooses to write about, I know how to close my Safari window.

    Thanks for letting us get to "know" you. Xo.

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    1. thanks for your thoughtful comment. "the beauty of living in such an interconnected world is the opportunity it provides for us to see how others live and recognize the diversity in others' lives." yes! thanks for summing up a big chunk of what i'm trying to articulate here :)

      i also agree the snark and speculation provides an interesting and sometimes very valuable contrast -- even for me as the snarked upon. it helps me to think critically about what i put on the internet and about who i am and how i can be better, and i honestly appreciate that. sometimes i worry though that assumptions made by strangers, some of which are wildly inaccurate, will be absorbed as truth by readers - and it's not great to have people believe lies about me and my family. like i mentioned in this post, some assertions are poignant and valid and, even though they are opposing and negative, i truly appreciate them. but some are reallllly far gone. so i hope that we all will keep that in mind when digesting assumptions made about any online sharer.

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  13. Some unsolicited advice from a stranger on the internet (aka everyone's favourite kind of advice!) -- you might consider keeping your relationship with your husband a bit more private. I understand the urge to keep it real, but the mentions of your fights and struggles with Ian, on a blog that is mostly (very, very) positive, stick out like a sore thumb. Unless Ian is also devoted to sharing much of his life with the public, you might want to dial it down.

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    1. hi kate! :) i don't mind the unsolicited advice. it can be really helpful, even if its just to understand perceptions. ian and i talk about what i share online and offline with some regularity, and it is very important to him that we make an earnest effort to be real about our relationship in any point of sharing. we will continually continue our conversation about what we each and both feel comfortable sharing, but we are united in feeling disingenuous and wrong about leaving out occasional mentions of the hard work required in our marriage. point taken about it sticking out though - isn't that interesting how humans can take in so much positivity and yet its the negative stuff that stands out? i'm going to think about that more in my future attempts to find the balance of keeping things real.

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  14. Hi Charity, I liked this post a lot. Thank you. I have commented on your blog with criticism once before and was called a 'hater' even though I just honestly expressed my opinion on the content of your blog. You responded and I appreciated that and I still think we disagree and I'm ok with that. I prefer to comment here than Gomi because I want to connect with you directly and explore our differences: I don't think I'm being snarky, just curious why you make certain choices. And I also have opinions of those choices. You are an author of an autobiography that I am reading and have the privilege to interact with. But it doesn't mean that I'm going to read without an eye of critical thinking, as I would any other written work.

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  15. I really enjoy your blog as well as your sister's blogs. It has caused me to think a little more outside the box when it comes to travel and experiences I want for my kids. I also think it is nice to hear your thoughts on the good and hard stuff in marriage. Sometimes I feel in the LDS culture we focus so much of "getting married" that we don't talk enough of what happens once you do! It is hard and great and we need to talk about both!! As for comments you can live without everyone is going to have something to say no matter what so you just have to find what works for you and your husband!

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  16. I love your blog and the title. You are a deep thinker and are able to evaluate criticism that comes your way and you're not afraid to engage the haters but you do it in such a thoughtful, mature way. Keep on being you. You are much braver than me and have taught me not to fear the negative people and to always look for the positive in everything. Thanks for sharing with us. I rarely read the comments but it's funny to me how people, even when they're being positive, have to add in their two cents about stuff like grammar. I'm always just amazed at the need for people to offer up their criticism. You are awesome Charity. Keep writing.

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  17. This is a generous and mature response and if you're really getting something from it, that's great! There are definitely some crazy people in that GOMI thread (BuffaloBea) that seem obsessed with your family and I personally don't think I'd find it anything but creepy!

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  18. I will second that when your blog is so rosey it makes the your occasional mentions of "how hard marriage is" seem like a cry for help. This may not be the case at all, but the frequent, yet vague mentions of the "challenges" do stand out in a very uncomfortable and strange way. Every marriage is different, but mine really wasn't hard until life got hard. Also, in the vein of feedback: Mortality is a very bizarre word, and really only common within the mormon lexicon. If you are wanting to seem very in-the-bubble, then the use makes sense. If you are wanting to relate to the people outside your faith, then you may just start substituting the word "life" each time you are tempted to use "mortality". It makes me think of "Infants on Thrones". And also, most GOMIer's don't take other Gomi-er's seriously. The Eyre thread is actually one of the more tame ones on there. And yes it is weird when people are WAY out there or mean...but no one who matters will care what is said there. I think it is awesome you attempt to use it as positive feedback...but if you just have to stop looking at the trainwreck for your own sanity...please do. I too have gotten great feedback about how the world "perceives" me off of GOMI, so it has it's uses at times.

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    1. thanks for the feedback :)
      i never thought of "mortality" as a mormon word, i just kind of like it! but good to know.
      i'm really not overly worried about what is said online about me and my family - i was trying to convey that sentiment here. i just figure that if its there, i might as well glean some good from it. and use lessons from it to guide my perceptions of others.

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  19. Of course a string of comments like this has many of us checking out GOMI!

    I'm guessing the whole speculation that a couple of your family members are gay is what you're referring to as "wildly inaccurate" and was the catalyst for this post? If yes, here's another opportunity for introspection. What's wrong with being gay? Why is that the worst/most offensive thing to call someone? Why is it even considered "mean" to call someone gay? Some gay men even choose to marry women; some women choose to marry gay when. Whatever. I'm ok with that too as long as they both are.

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    1. speculation about speculation :)
      i've been thinking about writing a post like this for a long time - it wasn't prompted by anything specific. and yes, that assertion is wildly inaccurate, but it's not the only one.
      from my perspective, questioning someone's sexuality is not offensive, and i certainly don't think it's "mean" to consider someone gay.

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  20. I am commenting a second time after reading the comments from people who thought your "marriage is hard" references were sharing too much. How in the world are we ever going to foster healthy, normal, beautiful marriages if everyone thinks they are the "odd woman out" when things get hard? To me that just propogates alienation and more marital issues, including divorce. It's NORMAL and fabulous that marriage is beautiful and hard all at once. I am so grateful to have an open dialogue with my beloved husband about that fact, as well as girlfriends who I can vent to who will never judge my husband for anything I might mention. We are two people in love trying to make a great life - the hard stuff makes it all the sweeter. If I hadn't come to this realization 4 years when my husband and I had to really dig in and get honest with ourselves about our need to work on some things, I'd be divorced at this very moment. Let's be real about both our human and marital struggles and triumphs! In my mind your honesty provides such a service to newlyweds behind you and to the thousands of women of all ages (me included, age 33) who admire you and think you're pretty fab. Cheers!

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    1. thanks for this comment, sarah. i totally agree. i am worried that in the world we live in today, which provides such ample perfectly happy looking images of marriage, we'll loose sight of the fact that marriage is *supposed* to be hard in some ways and help us grow. and yes! the hard stuff makes it sweeter. isn't that miraculous? i love it.

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  21. Charity (from a non-mormon reader) you are one of my favorite blogs to read of all time. You let your enthusiasm for life shine. You are a wonderful reminder that life is tough and beautiful. Keep up the wonderful journey and let those irrational egos (comments) roll off >>like water off a ducks back. Please keep sharing! Love it all.

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  22. First of all let me say that you should totally keep "Dripping with Passion" as the name of your blog!!!!! I adore it :) Even though I don't know you personally I think it describes you perfectly and it's a adorable and charming name :) I love it. So please stick with it!! And I love the reality AND happiness you are able to capture on this blog. So thanks :)

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  24. I so love your posts, Charity. I hope you always keep writing and sharing little bits (the good bits and the more challenging bits) with us all!

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  25. Your realness is one of the aspects I like most about your blog! The openness you have, and the lack of a fake front, are part of what makes your blog my favorite. I feel as though I know you, and I'm afraid if I were to see you, I might act as though we were close acquaintances! (maybe awkwardly so! heh) I can't imagine anyone having anything negative to say about your blog; people are crazy! I rarely look at blogs these days due to time constraints, but your's is my favorite, so I make the time! (sorry for the long-windedness of this comment!!)

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  26. Charity, I really like your blog! Especially when you share the negative hard stuff. I actually wish you would be more detailed about that. I know that it's already so personal but it helps to know other people have struggles. I like seeing the fun, but it's also nice to know that it's not all cheery all the time. I think when you're vague people put in the details themselves and that's when it can get crazy. But of course, share what you're comfortable with sharing.

    I am curious though...this is a personal blog. Why are there ads on it?

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    1. yes, you're right about the vagueness. it is what it is!

      i have ads on my blog because i figure i might as well monetize this thing if i'm going to be writing here anyway. i get very little income from the ads, but it's a nice little bonus for all the work that goes into maintaining this space on the internet.

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  27. Charity, the world wide web connects people even though they are total strangers! I stumbled upon your blog via your sisters blog years and years ago. I had a new baby and I was up all night feeding him. So blogs kept me awake during long and late feedings. One one child after another I kept finding myself going back to your blog. You have been REAL, and GENUINE and just plain beautiful. You are doing exactly what you should. My favorite moment was when my babies grew up, I realized I never found out what happened with you and the BOY that broke your heart...I found a spare minute to search through dozens of posts to find out whatever happened. Because deep down the two of you I thought were perfect for each other. I ended up reading your sad, heart broken post about him choosing something/someone else. I felt so much for you, even though I don't really know you! Well, time past again and I found myself reading your sisters blog and she mentioned you. I ended up searching your blog again and found out your adventurous love story reunited with each other!! I couldn't have been more thrilled for you. Anyways, all I'm saying is I adore who you've been over the many years, and I know that if I saw you we would be friends!!! You are doing what you need to do, don't stop or change anything, keep going! You are sharing so much good and light, and LIGHT is exactly what the world needs more of! Thank you for being YOU!!!!! Plus a GIANT thank you to your parents for so many things, your sisters, Power of Moms, my heavens my life as a wife and mother is so purposeful and deliberate because of their desire to share their light! I'll thank you in heaven one day!!!! :)

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    1. what a fantastically kind comment, thank you! i'm pretty thrilled that the boy and i reunited too :) so glad you've gotten some benefits out of the things my amazing parents and siblings have created. this is the kind of sharing i'm talking about that is so powerful and beautiful!

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  28. Your blog is great and genuine, keep being you - like life, expressing life in words will fraw criticism. Dont let it take away feom who you are. One side note: thd comments do drive up site traffic which hopefully hives uou well deserved income from your great content. Let the haters comment a lot while you milk it! Jokes on them!

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  29. Great insight that you can never be truly real on the internet. Very true! Keep on doing what you're doing, it's great

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  30. I only recently heard of GOMI and had a quick look....talk about a site that should get off the internet. Sheesh. Who has the spare time - or TAKES the spare time?!? - to intentionally seek out a chance to be so nasty. When will - or why won't?!? - people just stop reading if they aren't entertained by or interested in someone's personal interpretation on life or design or food or travel or child rearing, etc?

    Charity, I am a perfect internet stranger. I like your blog name and your adventurous spirit and your kind and hopeful heart. We would be considered quite different from each other, but in so many ways we are similar and I wish I knew you in real life.

    Come on people.....
    The world would be one homogenous boring place if we were all the same.
    If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all.

    I hope you keep blogging, Charity, and you wouldn't hurt my feelings if you turned off the comment box.

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    1. I second all of this! I, too, am a stranger. I found your blog during a particularly difficult time in my life when I spent a lot of time at a hospital bedside and in uncomfortable accommodations miles from you. Reading blogs provides a connection, and I love your enthusiasm and your stories. To be sure, we're different. But there's an awful lot of shared humanity and it feels good to find commonality and know we're not alone, hey? Thanks for writing, for sharing, and for giving glimpses into all of it (the awesomeness of creation and the sometimes brutality of being a human in a broken world).

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  31. Don't rebrand... You have created a brand and that brand has value. Being a TMT investment banker on Wall Street (does Ian work at Goldman BTW?) I can tell you that when valuing companies we have specific techniques to value social media content like this; I am sure you and your family discuss the Eyre brand (given you all have significant investment and income from content created socially) think carefully before changing any blog names.

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  32. In Mormon culture we are often taught to act like everything is great. "Put your shoulder to the wheel" and "count your blessings", etc. That's all wonderful but sometimes I feel like it's not completely honest and doesn't allow for us to truly recognize the full range of the emotions we feel. I remember my friend expressing this when her sibling died. She was devastated but didn't feel like she was allowed to be sad because everyone kept telling her that she should be relieved knowing he was with Christ and that she would see him again. In college I found myself constantly comparing myself to other Mormon girls (especially ones at BYU) and wondering why their lives were so dang perfect and mine wasn't. I still often wonder to myself when I looked through Instagram and Facebook, "how is their life/children/marriage/house/family so perfect?" I am smart enough to know that their lives are not perfect and that they are simply showcasing the positive on social media, but still sometimes I really let the comparisons get me down. If you only showed the positive in your life on this blog, the trips around the world, the amazing roommate dinners, the amazing jobs, the beautiful wedding, I would find myself wondering the same thing about you, why is Charity's life so perfect? I would be jealous and I would get frustrated with myself and with church though I know neither of those are fair. I so so so appreciate when you write about life being hard. I so appreciate when you write about marriage being hard. Relationships, even healthy happy ones, are hard work! It's nice to see someone admit that. I don't feel so alone as a person and as a Mormon woman. I remember one of your blog posts (I think it was from after you and the boy broke up) where you write something about sobbing in the shower. I really connected with that...you had this amazing, beautiful life and had accomplished so much but were still sometimes so sad all you could do was break down in the shower. That's definitely happened to me. And when I read that I thought of all those other "perfect" Mormon girls I always compare myself to and reminded myself that they have probably sobbed in the shower and cried themselves to sleep a time or two. A lot of blogs and Instagram posts admit to stuff having a messy house, letting the kids eat fast food, and sleeping through church. But I want to know that other people in this world sometimes have real emotional struggles. It's brave of you to write like this when people can make such mean comments. This is a really long comment, and I'm commenting as anonymous because I'm embarrassed that I'm actually commenting on a blog...! But, I so appreciate all your mentions of struggling with sadness, marriage, life and all that. I felt compelled to comment after I saw comments above saying you're too negative about your relationship. I really enjoy your blog, it's really dramatic when you discuss how amazing and yet how heart breaking life can be at the same time, but it's very real and I connect with it. So thank you.

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    1. Hi,
      Thank you so much for your comments, you have summed up exactly my thoughts.

      I think there is far too much emphasis in the church on thinking positive & making out that life is perfect, when it really isn't. Because so many members tell me to "be strong" when I'm going through a really difficult trial I now find it really hard to express my feelings with others, especially members.

      I know what your friend went through when her brother/sister died. When both my Mum & Dad died people kept telling me that they were in a better place etc & that I could do the temple work for them in a year's time. I didn't care about that, I wanted them with me now, not in eternity.

      I'm 56, haven't married & don't have children & I can't stand the millennium lecture that members give, especially the ones who have been married for years & don't have a clue on what it's like to be single.

      Even tho I know the gospel is true, I am really struggling to stay active at the moment, as I don't fit in anywhere - or anywhere in this world.




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  33. You are rad Char. This is perfect, I love it. Love you, your passion, courage, love for people and life. I want to be like you little sis.

    I think there was a Saturday night live skit where "Satan" was being interviewed. When asked if he invented the internet he said, "No, not the whole internet, just the comments section." Way to harness this part of the internet and turn it into something more productive!

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  34. Sorry, that ^^ was me, Saydi. Not Hazel.

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  35. Thank you for a reminder to try to be better at looking behind a person that is his reasoning and actual meaning! It really was what I needed.

    I'm with you on actually everything. Not everyone who disagrees is a hater (even if you realise this only after some time). And to only discuss with likeminded people doesn't help you stretch yourself. There is one one exception. I believe that there are people that spit poison for the sake of spitting (as one of the commenters called it). Those should be shaken off. In my opinion.

    ReplyDelete

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