20 November 2015

for my brother and his wife: hoping for an extraordinary miracle

{to all eyes reading these words: do you know a pregnant woman who is considering adoption? if you do, please help facilitate a miracle, and share this post.}

i believe that adoption is an extraordinary miracle.

while i don’t have a lot of personal experience with all the politics and complexities of the adoption process, and while i acknowledge that adoption doesn’t always work out in an ideal way for every child/family, i strongly believe in the extreme beauty of the concept of adoption. i can’t think of a stronger love than the kind it takes to give life to a perfect baby through childbirth and then give a more abundant life to that perfect child through adoption. but perhaps a kind of love that comes close is the kind that graphs a non-biological child into a family and seals right over any crevice of dissimilar genes. from both sides, it’s truly miraculous.

talnita.png

my brother talmadge and his wife anita are among the most remarkable human beings and parents on this planet – i’m completely sure of it. they are good to the core, deliberate and goal-oriented, successful and smart, truly kind in the most total way, insightful and creative, driven and faithful, adventurous and so much fun. they are the kind of people that one spends just a few minutes with and yet is profoundly impacted by. they are truly awesome. they have one gorgeous daughter that is so incredibly full of light and will be a powerful force for good in the world. they want to grow their family and help more children blossom and thrive in this life. and they are not able do so without adoption.

i am in absolute awe of those who have the courage to carry a baby to full term, knowing they are not in an excellent position to raise that child, and then to give the unfathomable gift of a new life to another family. could any action require more beautiful sacrifice and intense love?  i cannot even attempt to imagine making a decision about what family such a beloved child should join. but could any coming together be more glorious than parents and a so deeply longed for child? the whole thing is pretty incomprehensible, but here’s one thing i understand for absolute sure:

choosing to give a child through adoption to talmadge and anita eyre is choosing to give a child a magnificent life. a life filled with an abundance of the most earnest love and genuine goodness. a life full of security and opportunity and light. that choice would provide a fantastic answer to millions of prayers. that choice would generate an extraordinary miracle.

you can learn more about tal and anita on their adoption profile.
you can contact them by emailing familylookingtoadopt@gmail.com.

14 comments :

  1. oh the heartbreak of yearning for a child. I hope it works out for them and for their daughter who by all accounts would be a doting and wonderful big sister. Not to mention the cultural richness their family would provide. Have they ruled out family surrogacy? It wouldn't take me one second to agree to be a surrogate for my sister, or sister in law- as long as it wasn't my eggs. My pregnancies involved extended bed rest and horrible, horrible, all-day sickness, but I seriously wouldn't hesitate to do that for family. All the best and hoping for a miracle for you.

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  2. Just to clarify, Tal and Anita are seeking a newborn, only? I do not know of anyone or have an understanding of all the red tape that one must go through towards adoption. But, I do know that their are a lot of toddler/preschool children in need of good homes in the Detroit, Michigan area. Ever so often, one of our local stations presents a beautiful program about the children of Detroit who need homes. They talk to the children, show pictures of children who are awaiting adoption---tends to break my heart. There are so many who want a loving mom and dad and peace in a family unit. So, just a thought. And, I do believe extraordinary miracles do happen when it comes to children.

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  3. I can feel your love for your brother, sister-in-law, and niece in every word you wrote. beautiful.

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  4. Charity,
    I don't want to give any false hope, but I am passing this information on to a couple people who may be able to help in a miracle. One, is my sister, who has adopted two children and has had people call with adoption offers--which the last time, she actually wasn't able to take the baby- So I will give her your brother's information and ask her to pass that information on if any adoption offers come,
    I also know of a young lady who recently found out she is pregnant. She is not married, and not in a position to raise a child. I know she is still thinking about her options and whether or not she will choose to go the adoption route. I will definitely pass this information on to her to consider. I am happy to pass this information on because I do know that the Eyre family is a wonderful family. I know any baby would be loved so much and would have a blessed life. I believe in miracles and I hope your brother and his family are blessed with one.

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    Replies
    1. The information I passed on to my sister has already been passed on to a lady who places babies and children in adoptions. The young lady who is pregnant and considering adoption will get the information by tonight. Hopefully by spreading the word, windows and doors will be open for miracles to happen. :)

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  5. Just to help with some adoption lingo... you do not "give" a child, you "place" a child

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    1. My husband is adopted and both terms are used and correct in reference to an adopted child.

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    2. The term has been "placed" for at least the last 10 years. Your husband was adopted in an era that used that term. "Give" was a term used back when children placed for adoption never knew they were adopted, or others didn't know they were adopted and/or they never received contact between bio mom and bio dad until adulthood. That has changed. Give was back in the day when the bio parents didn't decide on an adoption plan, it was made for them by their family. Give was back in the day when dad wasn't made aware a pregnancy occurred and did he want to place the child or not? Dad matters. The child was not from an immaculate conception. Give was back in the day where the agency picked the next family in line. And "Give" doesn't refer to the "adopted child", it refers to the bio parents. The bio parents didn't like the lingo. Adopted kids as adults decided they didn't like the notion they were given away. They are not commodities.

      You don't "give away" a daughter in marriage anymore.

      I'm not unknown. Charity is a relative of a couple hoping to adopt. The couple hopefully took the classes and talked with and heard from placing parents, other adoptive parents and adopted kids as part of the adoption education process. Charity would not know the lingo. She didn't have to do all that. It's not a character flaw she used the term give. But it's not the current term or the current reality, so someone mentioned it.

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    3. "The child was not from an immaculate conception."

      The Immaculate Conception is not the same as the Virgin Birth; and, if you're referring to a child conceived without the agency of a human/physical father, what you're referring to IS the Virgin Birth.

      This is a common error, but the Catholic doctrine of the Immaculate Conception holds that Mary was conceived in her own mother's womb free of the taint of original sin. I realize (and respect) that LDS beliefs differ greatly, but please, please, please, if you're going to use the terminology of other faiths in your argument, use the correct ones. Please?

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  6. I am Catholic. Yes Mary is the Immaculate Conception, born without original sin. You are correct. I am wrong to use that term to describe a conception without a father.

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  7. Charity, I am sure that your brother and his wife are amazing people but regardless of the lingo used in adoption, please educate yourself about the reality of adoption (see for instance http://www.thelostdaughters.com/, or http://www.firstmotherforum.com/p/what-we-think-about-adoption.html).
    Sadly, the mormon Church and Utah don't have a very good track record in terms of ethical adoptions, which is baffling considering the priority given to families. it makes me very sad that so much resources are used in adoption, that could be used for keeping families intact. I wouldn't want to look at my nephew/niece and think that his/her mother is grieving somewhere (the adoption profile doesn't even mention if they want to go for open adoption).

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  8. When we adopted fourteen years ago I thought of adoption from my perspective - wonderful and magical. There was no way to fully understand that adoption comes about through tremendous loss for the child and birth parents what ever the situation the child is born into at the beginning of their life journey. "A child born to another woman calls me mom. The depth of the tragedy and the magnitude of the privilege are not lost on me." -- Jody Landers

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  9. Charity, if you could please give Tal and Anita my contact info, I have a friend who runs an adoption agency in California. I told her about them recently (after reading Shawni's blog) and she said 'have them get ahold of me!' They can email me (Susan) at sjt70@yahoo.com

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  10. This prayer request just came through some church lady friends. I thought of your request for your family and thought I'd pass it along. I'm in Gaston County, North Carolina.

    "I was wondering if you could forward this to our bible study group, SS class, and circle? I got this message from the leader of the Parent prayer group last year at Gaston Christian School. There is a 3 week old baby in a NICU who has major medical issues and needs a loving family to adopt her. She was born at 35 weeks and has a lot of problems that will more than likely be long term. This baby has no one. Please pray for God to heal her and to find a loving, caring family for her!"

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