30 June 2016

engagiversary

two years ago today, the boy and i got engaged.

at sunset on june thirtieth, two thousand fourteen, while standing at the westernmost point of the contiguous united states, ian asked me three times if i would marry him. i said yes all three times :) you can read our whole engagement story here

here's the thing: i really didn't know what saying yes meant on that day two years ago. it was the greatest leap of faith i've ever taken and will ever take - and yet i had no hesitation and felt heavy, heavy peace. i knew what i needed to know: that i loved this boy fiercely and that he loved me back in equal measure, and that he would always be committed to me and to god. beyond that? i really didn't know, and couldn't have known, what i was getting myself into! 

indeed, the seven hundred and thirty days that have followed since that magical evening of elated, giddy love have been brim with surprises. most of those surprises have been tremendously wonderful, while others have been searingly painful and quite grueling. and all of those surprises have helped both of us to grow in really beautiful ways, and have miraculously and spectacularly etched our love for and commitment to each other truly deeper and deeper. 

so, so much has happened since ian slipped that ring onto my finger two years ago!

one perfect magical wedding, twenty nine countries, sixteen states, one phd graduation, two new jobs, two tiny living spaces, at least one hundred and four dates, one international move, a lot of arguments and way more tender moments of love, dozens of road trips and bike rides, and one baby boy in utero. 

indeed, we couldn't have known what we were signing up for as we held each other with bursting hearts that night two years ago - but as it turns out, that leap of faith was a pretty dang fantastic one. and there's lots of more surprises - both sweet and sour - to come! 

when we were dating and trying to decide if we should get married, we considered if my 1 + ian's 1 equaled 3 (we'd fundamentally help each other become better) or just a different 2 (we'd change each other but maybe not in a synergistic way). eventually, we realized and determined that for sure our 1 + 1 wouldn't equal 3, but actually our equation was more like 1 +1 > 73 (not sure where that random number came from, but it stuck!). i really believe that with each passing day we are growing to become greater than the sum of our parts, that together we are so much better, that the past two years are only a little glimpse of how our love and synergy will expand. and it's all going into hyperdrive very soon here as we become parents! 

i'm outrageously grateful that ian chose me, and popped that big question two years ago today. 
happy engagiversary, love! :)

5 comments :

  1. Your post got me into pondering. My husband and I (not LDS) have a very different story in that we were dating almost ten years before we got married (and dating means we had long been living together and practically were like married). When we finally got married we weren't experiencing "painful or gruelling surprises". On the other hand this doesn't not mean that we haven't had hard times in our relationship; we just had them earlier and got used to each other and each other's ways before we got married.
    I don't know what is better. I joke that if we had married earlier we could have celebrated our silver wedding earlier. Now we still have to wait for 22 years, even though we have been together already for almost 13 years.

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  3. One thing I have to say.
    Sheldon Cooper.
    :D
    Sheldon: "The best number is 73. Why? 73 is the 21st prime number. Its mirror, 37, is the 12th and its mirror, 21, is the product of multiplying 7 and 3... and in binary 73 is a palindrome, 1001001, which backwards is 1001001."
    Leonard: "73 is the Chuck Norris of numbers!"
    Sheldon: "Chuck Norris wishes... all Chuck Norris backwards gets you is Sirron Kcuhc!"

    How weird is it I know by heart?

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  4. This blog post was timely for me. I've seen quite a few parallels (and assume some others) in my own relationship as with you and Ian, and it's comforting to see where you guys have ended up. We're currently at... 2 years and 4 months? On and off. And during that big 10 month off time, I could never have imagined we'd be here, or as happy as we are. But marriage is still so scary to him. He can talk about future things, but that bit leap to get there seems so out of reach. It's just hard. I'm grateful that I just ended a difficult prayer and was able to log on here and read this. It gives a sweeter perspective to the confusion in my mind, so thank you. It's been great reading your story.

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  5. Good thoughts all around!

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