random thoughts on a saturday night







it's saturday night in london.

the boy and i are sitting on our bed, leaning against the wall behind. he is studying for the second round of the cfa exam, i just finished sending some emails, and baby moses is snoozing in the other room. the sounds of traffic and chattering friends enjoying the weekend and jazz music being played by a street performer are seeping through our window. and i'm feeling really grateful for our little life in this little flat in this big city.

there's been a lot that has disturbed me in the news this week. and i've had so many tangled thoughts about how to find the right balances in my hugely privileged life. i worry about some people close to me and many distant from me, and i wonder where i fit and what i can do and what i should do.





this evening at bedtime, moses fell asleep in my arms. this doesn't happen often. instead of slipping him in his crib, glad that he went to sleep without a fuss, i sat on the sofa with him dozing on my chest for a quarter of an hour. his sweet sweet breath made my skin dewy and the wonderful weight of his little body made my heart soft. and i was grateful, and okay to not have all the answers. i will find the ones i need, and meanwhile i will pray for those whose questions are so much more urgent and sharp.

{artwork by my amazing friend caitlin connolly. do yourself a favor and flip through the gallery of her most recent work (much of which was published in the book our heavenly family, our earthly families) on her website. it's all just astonishing in its beauty and ability to evoke rich emotion.}

92 comments:

  1. Hi. Charity,
    I was just wondering how you breast feed Moses with your holy sacred Mormon Undergarmets on. Morman woman only the Temple Worthy womam wear Temple garmets meaning the Temple Men also. I hear that your Masonic Cult symbols on your Undergarmets need to be on next to your skin to protect you from all evil.Then your bra goes over your Magcic Underwear.Does Your husband we all know that in your Cult Religion that You and ian and Moses will be Gods in the next life. Your spirit Child Moses and you and Ian are Gods. Do you think most people believe this.

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  2. This sounds a little snide and rude. Always be kind to others.

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  3. All I want to say whatever happened to Free Speech. I am only asking questions about Temple Undergarments and how hard it must be to wear them while trying to breast feed your baby.

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    1. Frankly, you've highlighted exactly what's happened to free speech. Kudos to Charity for continuing to blog, and to allow comments, slings, and arrows. She's a stronger person that I am. In the end, I'm glad your comment is here, because it reminds me of the qualities I admire in her. Thank you.

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  4. hi! it's really not too tricky to breastfeed when garments once you get the hang of it :) they do make garments designed specifically for nursing, but i just pull my regular ones down. my husband and i share belief in our religion (which is not a cult) and yes, we believe we can become like god. i'm glad for this because an eternity of sitting around sounds awful to me - i am excited to keep learning and progressing and creating!

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    1. ps. the garments aren't "magical" :) just a reminder of the promises we have made with god and his care for us.

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  5. Your friend's paintings are lovely!

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  6. Mirror mirror on the wall, who is the fairest mormon mommy of them all? Perhaps, good deeds without broadcast, or search for public recognition, would be a great start Charity. Yes, you are the poster girl for White privilege, but you don't need to constantly remind the world of it. Just enjoy it. Why can't you just quietly help the world out without making such a big, public deal about it!!! enough already with the crocodile tears for the world, and the never ending narcissism!

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    1. wow. i'm so sad and sorry that what i shared came across in a way that prompted this response! you might consider that maybe the reason you haven't read here about "good deeds without broadcast" is because i don't broadcast them :) i posted these thoughts as part of my life record (the primary purpose of this blog) during this crazy time in history, and because i felt a need to acknowledge the events of the last week here, and because i thought there might be some readers out there that could relate in a positive way (not for public recognition or to make a "big, public deal"). i am genuinely interested in why this post came across as narcissistic or loud. i would love to avoid giving any reader that feeling in the future. and no, i will not sit back and enjoy my white privilege. i feel it is very important that i to recognize it and then try to use it for good (quietly :), but encouragingly where appropriate).

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  7. I don't believe it came out narcissistic. There are some scary things happening right now. Trump is exerting his power in an inhumane fashion.

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    1. I also appreciate you acknowleging (even though I was done vaguely).

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    2. Oh, how I wish it could simply be attributable to one side, or even one person. But I thought this morning that it seems as if every side is fascinated with lighting the world on fire, and excitedly scratching their matches alight and throwing them in all directions. The unkindness and divisiveness, even in the name of defending the helpless, loving one another, etc. is so discouraging, and can't possibly soften hearts - it only succeeds in pushing backs to walls, and that is always a dangerous proposition. Charity, I loved your calm, bittersweet reflections here - they are a rarity at this time, but badly needed. Especially the admission of not knowing what to do, how to help, etc. and not having all of the answers.

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  8. The narcissism, insatiable need for recognition, and privilege comes across in the blog at large.....her photos are great quality, but she can go on and on, and she can come off in a self aggrandizing way. Her sister Shawni is just as bad, if not worse, but she's still injured for not getting into Wellesley college all those years ago, so she may need that understandable ego boost from her blog. Mrs. Charity Wright, seems to treat her blog like a stage, just waiting for the applause and bouquet of congratulatory flowers. So annoying at times....


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    1. If you don't like what you are reading then stop reading it.

      If you feel the need to comment, comment in a polite way. We can all disagree with each other, but really need to learn to do it in a way that is respectful. We shouldn't all be/think/do the same things. What a boring world we would live in if we were the same. Our differences is what makes the world good.

      I'm married, an atheist, in my 30's, have no interest in having children, am Canadian and really like how this blog exposes me to a different way of thinking. Charity and I are very different and have never met. Reading her blog challenges me to be able to explain why I think of things in a way that might be different from others. It has taught me reflection.

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    2. dear anonymous -

      i am serious in my desire to understand how and why i come across on this blog as narcissistic (and now also self-aggrandizing). i'm sure i actually am those things to some degree, because i am human and certainly have big weaknesses. but i really, truly am not "waiting for applause and a bouquet of congratulatory flowers." if it comes across that way, i really want to know how to rectify that (because that *does* sound annoying!).

      i write this blog because it's my way of organizing my pictures and keeping a life record. i share it publicly because i've received many requests to do so - readers expressing that they are interested and, at times, inspired. and we live in a time of unparalleled ability to connect and share, and i think that's awesome! (i suppose any personal blog - or social media account that chronicles an individual's life in one way or another - could be classified as self-aggrandizing ... but i do think we can share and connect without being narcissistic - what do you think?) if you were me, what would you do - would you make the blog private to avoid the impression i've clearly given you, or how would you change the blog content and tone to avoid that impression? this is a genuine questions - i'd really appreciate your perspective.

      thanks!
      charity

      ps for the record, all my sisters got into wellesley. one just chose not to go there :)

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    3. This seems besides the point but how on earth did four daughters in one family get accepted to a school that barely accepts a quarter of a very small pool of excellent applicants? This seems statistically curious. I think the fact all 9 of you went to college is enough to be envious/jealous. Parents just hope their kids go on learning beyond high school and earn a living. And why did all of you spend so much time at other schools when you got in to Wellesley for heaven sakes? I mean, it's only four years.

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    4. it is besides the point, kms :) but one reason we spent a significant amount of time away from wellesley is because wellesley is a very, very expensive school. we all got in because we were all qualified, i suppose!

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  9. Good questions, and fair ones too....will see what I can come up with, after I get this damn "troll from hell" suit off of myself.....

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  10. Big hugs, Charity. It's a very hard time to be an American ex-pat, isn't it?

    I am a writer (actually, I wrote an academic article about your sister--wrote her about it a while back) and also live in London. If you ever want to go to a protest or similar and need company, let me know.

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  11. Charity,
    I am a very priveledge White Canadian wealthy Canadian Practicing Roman Catholic that beleveS in President Donald Trump and Vice- President Michael Pence . I believe that these men will help the America people make America great again. As a Canadian who sees things from both Americans and Canadians. God bless America once again.
    Thank-You,
    Olivia

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    1. Olivia, you might be blessed financially, but why can't you write or spell, to save your life? Charity has been careful and diplomatic, with her political position(s) in this blog. Don't know why she needs to read your politically polarizing comment. Since you are not American, and do not live in the US, you are hardly in a position, to accurately judge the current administration's ultimate impact (the good, the bad, and the ugly).

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  12. Charity, I'm wondering if it might be time to turn on comment moderation...

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  13. It was definitely a sad week for America. The one thing I want to do is start volunteering at refugee centers as soon as possible. I've looked up some nearby and they all need volunteers. I don't know if that's possible where you live, but maybe they have them there as well? I am glad you keep your blog public; I truly enjoy reading it! Positivity is scarce these days. :)

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    1. thanks. i am looking into volunteering at refugee centers. i appreciate your comment.

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  14. We've never met, but I just wanted to you know how much I enjoy reading your blog. I find you to be warm and endearing. I'm not a Mormon, but everything you share is encouraging and full of goodness. Don't ever apologize for being true to who you are. The people leaving mean comments read your blog every time you post- you have a lot of power in that sense. Continue to use it for good! I think you're lovely
    Keep being true to you!

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  15. We've never met, but I just wanted you to know how much I enjoy reading your blog. I find you to be warm and endearing. I'm not a Mormon, but everything you share is encouraging and full of goodness. Don't ever apologize for being true to who you are. The people leaving mean comments read your blog every time you post- you have a lot of power in that sense. Continue to use it for good! I think you're lovely and a bright light.
    Keep being true to you!

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  16. This post comes across as you feeling lonely/bored and needing affirmation/attention for thinking outside your "flat" "self". I'm not the same anonymous, but I'd like to help answer your question. You come across as insincere. Not real. Invented/Designed. Carefully scripted.....You are what most of us think of when we think of Utah Mormons, which is strange because you haven't lived there in years, right? What sticks out to me the most is that Saren Loosli, your oldest sister?, is the most authentic (as far as the reader can see), but lives in Utah. Lucy's mom writes as if she wants recognition for her "hard work", "trials", "hoopla". That said, when you express your love for baby or London, you do not sound scripted. Possibly because you ditch the thesaurus or the English language does not give your many substitutes for Love. IDK. In the end, FU** all of us and curate the HE** out of your writing. I'm 29 and I totally get your need to make real life seem like the movies.

    {sounds of traffic and chattering friends enjoying the weekend and jazz music being played by a street performer/i will pray for those whose questions are so much more urgent and sharp}

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    1. thanks for the feedback. i think it makes sense what you are saying and i appreciate it.

      i genuinely do not feel a "need to make real life seem like the movies." i truly want to remember and share the sounds and the concern about harder questions. i honestly am not attempting to invent or design anything - just recording and sharing my life. maybe i am subconsciously doing more careful curating that i realize, but while i do try to be aware of what should stay private about me or others and try to make be sensitive to diverse views and aware of my privilege, i sincerely don't invent or design anything, and nothing is consciously "scripted." i record my life and keep it public because people have expressed interest and inspiration.

      that said, what would you do if you were me? change your writing style (i do love my thesaurus) even though it is genuinely part of your personality? just share less posts like this and keep track of those experiences/thoughts elsewhere? make the blog private so as to not be misunderstood? share more details about the harder things in life (even though they seem too personal and aren't as outward as a child's special needs)? or, for that matter, invent/design hard things to share (obviously i wouldn't do that, but i'm just trying to exhaust all the options here...)? make a disclaimer before a post like this that its not stemming from loneliness or boredom (it was the end of a really packed day ian, moses some friends and others, doing worthwhile things that i don't feel good about broadcasting with specificity)? put more emphasis on posts that highlight a departure from some aspects of utah mormon culture? if you had my life and naturally my writing style, what would you do to fulfill the purpose of this blog, be true to yourself and also come across as less insincere?

      i'm really not being defensive here - i am genuinely curious, and i definitely want to avoid coming across as his way. maybe it's more about reader perception than anything (maybe not), but surely i can improve from my end.

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    2. There is an This American Life podcast on a internet troll who was addictided to trolling. You should give it a listen, he comes clean and talks about how it took him over and he had a certain target he would continually harass. He was able to break the addiction with hard work and coming clean. It was very interesting and actually made me feel for the troll. He came out of the woodwork and spoke with the woman he harassed, anyway it was very interesting and since you seem to have a troll you might find it especially interesting. Hugs to you! I find you and your whole family interesting and inspiring. I was in Saydi's Ward in Boston.

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    3. oh, that's fascinating! i'll have to look it up. but i am sincerely interested in the perspective of this "troll" and any reader. i think it's really important to occasionally consider the way we are perceived, and these type of comments give me an opportunity to do that. thanks for the comment and the hugs :)

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  17. Charity

    I believe that the questions you posed in response to an anonymous critic are sincere and genuine, just as I believe your blog posts are sincere and genuine and come from a good place. My advice on what to change? Embrace the fact that you are living an extraordinary life and squeezing as much joy and adventure and visceral experience as you can out of it and don't be baited into apologizing for it. Don't discredit your experiences by feeling like you have to acknowledge privilege.That privilege is obvious but you don't have to be embarrassed or ashamed of it. For all of the adventures you write about you also write about a desire to be engaged in good causes. Motherhood is one of those causes and the time you have wtb your infant is so fleeting. Don't stop broadcasting your joy in the experience or sharing the photos of your legitimately adorable son (who probably seems even more adorable to you) because someone else reads your blog and feels pricked by it, for whatever reason. And don't feel like talking about the good things you do is boasting, although there may be many people who dislike you for sharing those things. it is much more brave to out your life and beliefs and innermost thoughts and feelings out there for public consumption that it is to hide behind an anonymous computer and belittle or criticize someone who does. Don't hide because there are critics and don't change because strangers don't like you.

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    1. thanks audrey! i appreciate your support and thoughts. i agree with what you've said, and i am also truly glad to have opportunities to examine how i am perceived by different people and learn from that.

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  18. Oh my heavens. Charity, don't listen to the weirdos! There's nothing wrong with what you do or how you do it. Anyone who thinks so needs to get a grip on themselves and their judgements. While I'm sure Charity writes this blog for her family and her followers, she first and foremost writes it for herself and it doesn't matter what people think when she never says anything close to offensive. And even if she did, it's her blog. If you don't like it don't read it.

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  19. Charity I love your blog! I love seeing your photos and reading about your adventures.
    I am just catching up on my blog reading this morning and what you wrote resonated with me so much. After a lovely weekend of visting with my family and friends and getting caught up on projects at home as well as cooking good food and making my bed with warm sheets and blankets (it's been cold in Arizona), I was struck with an overwhelming sense of gratitude for all that is. This feeling isn't unfamiliar to me as I try to live my life in gratitude daily, it's part of my life and prayers. But given all that has occurred in the, my country- the US, I am reminded even more that I am so blessed and am so aware of those who are stuggling with the most basic of things. I am not rich but am taken care of by God and am blessed with what I need each day. I am sad at the events over the last few weeks which have caused such volatility. I don't support Trump and disagree with all he has done. But at the end of the day, in my little world, I will do what I can to help in any way I can. As I made my bed last night and was getting ready to end the day with sleep I too had some moments like you explained in your post. A deep awareness of all that is and how good it is. And also an awareness of and for those who didn't have a bed to make last night. It's deep stuff, it's big stuff, it's God stuff. So, you are not alone in your thoughts and feelings. Peace be with you!

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    1. thanks so much. peace back with you.

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  20. I think your writing is lovely and paints a vivid picture of the circumstances that you find yourself in! I think you are a light to many!

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  21. I am reading No Man Knows My History. It always amazes me that people as smart as you choose to believe in Mormonism. I understand it is your childhood and culture and you have fond memories associated with it, but it just cannot stand under any truthful study. I think Mormonism itself breeds narcassism. After all, your end goal is to be a god of your own planent. The teaching that you are the only religion with the truth, your encouragement to endlessly journal and document every aspect of your life, and your belief in grace only after doing all you can do make the focus about you. In most Christian religions (and Mormons are not Christians as the Jesus Christ of the Bible was not born of sexual relations between God and a heavenly mother, nor is he the brother of Satan, nor did he ever go to America) the focus is purely on Jesus Christ. And thank goodness that it is.

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    1. Hi! I have never read that book, but based on your comment, I'm not sure it's an accurate portrayal of what Mormons actually believe. Just one example- We don't believe that we need Jesus Christ only after all we can do- He is the central figure in our religion, and we try to pattern all we do after Him. We do believe it's important to have good works, that simply believing is not enough. We must do what He did. It's just like the parable of the wise man and the foolish man in the Bible. Hearing is not enough, we must do what Jesus taught. But that doesn't mean that we think our own works save us. The things we hope for would not be possible without Jesus Christ. I know there is a bit of a debate in some Christian tenants about being saved by grace vs. works, and we actually believe that both are essential. Does that make sense? If I want to learn about the benefit of vaccines, I don't study the sources of those who oppose vaccines, because obviously, that source may not present the whole truth about vaccines, but rather information slanted to support their view point. Again, I have never read that book, but it sounds like it may be presenting information just a bit skewed. If you want to know what Mormons truly believe, I suggest you browse lds.org or mormon.org or maybe even read The Book of Mormon! I am not trying (nor do I want) to argue, so I hope this doesn't come across in that way. I hope you have a great day!

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  22. For we labor diligently to write, to persuade our children, and also our brethren, to believe in Christ, and to be reconciled to God; for we know that it is by grace that we are saved, after all we can do. Nephi 25:23

    Additionaly, the Jesus Christ that is the center of your religion is not the same Jesus Christ who is God that is the center of Christian religions.

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    1. Thank you for posting that verse, Anonymous - to me it says: do the very best you can, bring good into the world, help others, but at the end of it all, it won't be enough. And only the grace of Christ can close that gap. Christ's grace isn't some sort of last-minute sprinkling over our personal accomplishments that dwarf His contribution. Our efforts are those of the distance runner who just cannot get to the finish line sprinting, jogging, walking, crawling, or dragging - it's so much farther than we understood it to be. I've never met a single Mormon in my life who thought of grace as a small thing, or even as something comparable to their efforts - to a man/woman, they view Christ's grace with a humility, sanctity, respect, and profound gratitude. I certainly read those feelings in Charity's posts too.

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  23. Wow. This is so true..Mormonism is human megalomania at its finest, and I consider this total dictatorship deeply repulsive...but as long as you feel hugely privileged, it must be okay for you. I have never felt so sad learning thru your words how you are honestly convinced you are a much better human being than others...Charity for God! Oh, no...haha...have a nice day.

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    1. Mormons believe God will prosper the righteous.

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    2. I am not trying to be cruel. Obviously, I do believe that Mornonism is not a Christian religion. I am not speaking to Charity as a person, just her religion. While I understand religion is personal and a part of who you are, I think it also important to speak truth. Charity seems to be of thick skin and interested in other views.

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    3. Read Mark 9:38-40. Christ was not upset at others casting out demons in his name but not of their fold while he was alive. Stop acting like his foolish apostle. I wish all Christians would stop trying to convert other Christians.

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    4. hi anonymous (are there two of you up there??)! i am indeed interested in other views and you are certainly entitled to your own. if helpful, here's a few bits of clarification about my personal beliefs, as a mormon (not necessarily speaking for the church at large):

      -my "end goal" is to use the atonement of jesus christ in order to return to the presence of god, and yes, eventually to become like him. i'm not sure if i'll get my own planet, but it makes sense to me and makes me glad to believe that eternity is intended to be full of learning, progression and creation. sitting around with my feet up forever and ever sounds absolutely dreadful to me!
      -i do believe that the authority of god, passed directly from jesus christ himself, exists soley in the church of jesus christ of latter-day saints, and that the fulness of god's doctrine (that he currently sees fit to be revealed to his children) was revealed to joseph smith in the 1800s and is continually revealed to a living prophet. however, i do NOT believe that mormons have a monopoly on truth. i believe that every religion has truth and MUCH for mormons (and everyone!) to learn from. i do not believe that mormons are the most devoted or the most pure or have any kind of corner on generally doing things right. we as a church, as a people, and as individuals, certainly have our failings and are striving to improve.
      -the focus of my faith is unflinchingly and completely the savior jesus christ. i absolutely cannot obtain salvation without him. i believe that he is perfectly just, and that he requires faith, which IS action -- true faith IS doing all i can do. all i can do will never, ever be enough (or even close to enough), but i believe jesus christ will make up the difference. he is and will be perfectly just and perfectly merciful.
      -i do not know the details of how mary conceived or how we are begotten and born as spirit children of a heavenly father and a heavenly mother, and if i needed to know those specifics i believe god would reveal them.
      -it's really difficult for me to conceive of an all-powerful savior that would visit, teach, heal and bless in only one part of the world. because i believe in christ's all-encompassing love for ALL men, i believe he not only physically visited america but other parts of the world as well.
      -i am CERTAINLY not convinced that i am ANY better than any other human. i am not entitled to my privilege, nor did i chose it. but i hope to use it for good. yes, god blesses the righteous, but not always immediately (or even in this life) and not always in ways we understand or seem obvious.

      i hope this is helpful in breeding more understanding. i'd love to understand why and how you believe the way you do, as well.

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    5. I believe everyone has a right to believe as they wish. I feel as though Mormons are trying to pass themselves off as mainstream Christians when this is just not the case and something that Mormons were not interested in being not so many years back. We can agree to disagree about Joseph Smith. I believe he was a charlatan and a sexual deviant. Yes a book like No Man Knows my History affirms this belief but so do the essays just published by the church. I believe in the Bible and its warnings about those who preach another Jesus Christ and not to add to the Bible. Lastly, I do find it ironic that people are condemned for challenging the lds faith when the whole reason for the church existing is the belief that every other church was wrong. That and the vigorous missionary work to convert one and all.

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    6. You would not only go after the LDS person for being wrong, you would also go after the catholic. To whom by the way you owe keeping the Bible in one piece, until Martin Luther, long before the existence of the printing press and a literate population. While I find it odd you love the abridged Protestant bible I don't doubt you are a Christian and would not argue you into changing. Why do you doubt and moan about others not being in your fold? You are just as bad as the LDS missionary in trying to change her Christianity to yours.

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    7. I just have one request for Charity...I know you don't like to use capital letters, but every time I see you type God or Jesus Christ without capital letters I cringe a little. Even the pronoun He and Him are capitalized in the scriptures when referring to God or Christ. Even if you don't ever capitalize anything else, they deserve it!

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  24. Charity....you don't need to change a thing. Can't you see that the more you apologize and try to pacify these people the more fierce and angry they become. Own who you are and be grateful (like you already are) and go about doing good and living your life (like you do!). I agree with another comment---turn off your comments. People are cruel and you will never satisfy them. Unfortunately this is the same thing happening in our world. The more we tried to pacify the people who hate America--even with all the good we do around the world--the more they hate us. It's very sad. We can't change them but we can continue to help how we can because that's the kind of people we want to be. And that does not mean opening our borders. We can and do help in many wonderful ways. The more that is given by corporations or governments the less it is appreciated. The blessings of giving are watered down for the giver and the receiver. That's why it is much more successful on a person to person basis.

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    1. i don't want to make anyone more angry! but i do genuinely want to learn from their perspectives. i actually really love comments of all kinds - the supportive ones are wonderful, and the disagreeing ones are stimulating in ways that help me to grow. i have definitely learned that i will never satisfy some people, but i do want to at least make an attempt to understand. i think exercising that emotional/social muscle is important - for me at least.

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    2. I hope the comments don't get turned off.

      I really enjoy Charity's blog & also the comments, including the negative ones.

      To me, it's good to know that we are all different & I think that's good.

      It would be a really boring world is we all thought the same & liked the same things etc.

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    3. Sorry for the mistakes, it's been a long day & I'm tired:)

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  25. I think sharing more of your challenges might make for a more balanced blog that seems less self congratulatory and more real (like Saydi). I'm curious why hard stuff is considered more "private" than success. Reading all your sisters blogs I think this is very connected to how you were raised.

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    1. thanks for the input, jenny! the reason i feel my challenges (at least the most heavy ones) feel more private is because they involve other people. not everyone is as open and comfortable with publishing things on the internet as i am :) also, opening myself up to criticism (which is completely fair - as long as it's not super mean! - when i'm sharing in such a public way) is a lot easier when i'm talking about successes, or even just neutral things. but the possibility of being criticized when i'm already struggling with "hard stuff" is pretty daunting. i do try to share things that are difficult here - and often i am chided for whining or not recognizing that my problems are small compared to others'. and then there's unsolicited advice and assumptions made about topics that are already tender. i'm certainly open to all of this, and can see value that could come from it, but maybe it makes sense why i would (consciously or subconsciously) avoid it at times? and you know what? sometimes i just genuinely don't have hard stuff to blog about. there are always challenges in my life, for sure, but sometimes i just don't feel like they are significant enough to mention, and i'm really blessed to be quite happy and not burdened down.

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  26. As the first "troll from hell" on Charity's 1-28-17 blog post, I may have been snarky toward Charity and Olivia, but not the Mormon faith. While not a member of the LDS community, I have much respect for the LDS faith. The anti LDS comments posted are even making me bristle. As for Charity, I am actually impressed, with how she stood up for herself. She called me out on my trolling, which was appropriate, but she did it with great humility and grace.

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    1. thanks, troll :) your comment about taking off your troll from hell suit made me laugh out loud :)

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  27. I'm not sure where your heart is? Is it in trying to be premanently in London, seeking citizenship or is as an American just living outside the country for a short while? I'm not sure where you all are in this process? Will England give you British passport if you retain loyalty to the US? I would thank my lucky stars if I were you that you are sheltered a bit from the new reality of the US? Not only are we currently mad that specific candidates are running or won, we are also angry at their supporters. It's very unamerican to go after people who support the politician you don't like. It has always bothered people for Americans to bad mouth America on foreign soil. Dixie chicks being an example. I also wish to point out the foreign media picks up very little American news and certainly the news they do pick is a bit one sided. President Obama was nominate for the Nobel Peace prize in a matter of 6 weeks of the presidency and not even a full term in the senate. I doubt that will happen with President Trump. Anyhow currently it is an order with a time limit. It's limited 7 countries. I believe there are Muslims in more than 7 countries? I wish it didn't include people already with a valid VISA. There was confusion over permanent residents. I wish it were only no more VISAs from the 7 countries for the next 90 days, with few exceptions. No one in route will die. It seems that three countries so far are offering to receive people America isn't for the moment. God speed. But I do wonder a few things? If America is the only safe place why are so many out of the country? My ten year old is an immigrant and a citizen. We were told to only travel on a US Passport. We were told it was best to wait for the passport. His citizenship process was quick. I understand it takes longer for others. In the eyes of the country he was born he isn't their citizen anymore. Other countries may have kept them also technically as their citizen with him renouncing or signing up for their national service in adulthood. But still to only travel on the US passport with the US services and protections. But all this has me thinking about why when the US doesn't "treat people" as dual citizens why others do and why we don't require adult Americans to renounce other loyalties to other nations and choose? It's one thing to keep the citizenship of your birth or parents but another to seek it in another country entirely and still retain from your country of origin. Is everyone who wants to the come to the US entitled to? We have immigrants from coming from everywhere both legal and not legal. 60,000 minors showed up at the souther border without parents last year, and I bet most of the 60,000 didn't become orphaned en route. Let's look at other weathly nations and how they treat their migrants both legal and not. Mexico vigorously deports. Look at the UAE. Your employer/former employer has to give you permission to leave the country. It's slavery. There are over a hundred countres we will take people from even during the pause. Can't a country decide how many and from where? There have been quotas throughout the history of the US. I like the Pope's suggestion to Europe in each parish taking in a family. Make the immigrant part of the community. The Vatican did this as well. The only thing new here is people in the Middle East in refugee camps refused to remain in a tent city. They just started walking. Perhaps we should have intervened, didn't stop others from intervening? Does the world want us to intervene or not? So confusing. Last two presidents ran and won on getting us out of military action. But when nothing is done look what happens. People just want to be mad.

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    1. This may be the only time I have agreed with you KMS. Excellent questions. And no clear answers. I think we do have to regulate who comes and when. We do owe that to the people who are here. The constitutions guarantees us protection. That includes know is who is here and why. I'm. It a huge fan of Trump but I'm really glad he is stopping this to get a handle on the situation. It's necessary.

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    2. phew! to be frank kms, sometimes it's quite hard to sift through all the words in your comments. but thanks for sharing your perspective. i'm genuinely trying to get a grip on any solid reasoning for the most recent executive order and i'm glad to have different perspectives to examine. i don't really want to go into my opinion on this here - maybe another day :)

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  28. Thank you for your honest post, Charity. I too struggle with checking my privilege, especially in the current times. There's tons of scary and sad stuff going on. I lose sleep over it. I do what I can to counter it, be it donating to causes I support, marching, or even just trying my best to be kind to others. Taking moments to be well and happy are necessary if we don't want to fall away into the fog.

    Also- I'm sorry you have such negativity in your comment thread. I'm all about having hard conversations with the bloggers I read when there's something they write that warrants it. But the level of kick back this post had received seems totally unwarranted.

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    1. it is a little crazy, i gotta say! i feel like i kind of can anticipate when the comments section will flare up but sometimes it's pretty unpredictable. the thing about blogging is that it's pretty much damned if you do, damned if you don't. i get kick back for sharing happy things and kick back for sharing challenging things ... i get chided for not acknowledging my privilege and chided for acknowledging my privilege ... people get upset that i don't mention current events and people get upset when i do. it all keeps me on my toes :)

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  29. Charity although my life has not been perhaps as privileged as yours, it has still been very good. And sometimes that makes me uncomfortable when I see the suffering that others in this world must endure. I am reminded of a book I once read entitled, "Alicia: My Story." It is the autobiography of a holocaust survivor. When I finished, my heart ached for her for days, and I didn't understand why my life was so blessed and hers so difficult. As I pondered what I could change or do differently, I came to the personal conclusion that when I can prevent the suffering of another I must, and that "remembering" is one of the greatest tributes we can give others when suffering is unpreventable. Also, that going around feeling sad is not what others who have suffered would desire, (unless it moves us to action), but that they would want us to be grateful and appreciate more what we have been blessed with. And truly, truly I believe you are doing all those things. ❤️

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  30. Wow, anonymous strangers on the internet can be quite cruel and spiteful. You're more gracious than I could be, Charity! Thank you for sharing bits of your life with us on your blog. I have been following along for the past five years or so, and I've enjoyed your zest for life. :-)

    Rachel K.

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  31. Love the artist's gallery. Thanks for sharing!

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  32. I love your blog so much. Please don't stop writing because of these horrible people who are leaving such cruel comments. And please know that so many of us love you, but we also think it's totally fine if you delete these hideous comments.

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    1. i'm not considering stopping blogging (wow, that was a lot of -ing words...), but i do think most comments (even most of the little-bit-crazy ones) are valuable in providing different perspectives.

      thank you so much for your support :) xo

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  33. well this is my first time commenting. And I just wanted to tell you that I enjoy your blog! I thought the comments under this post were out of hand, so maybe you need some good vibes!

    I am 27, german, in a relationship, not religious at all, have a masters in economics, and no baby. I kind of feel like we lead similar lives (which sounds ridiculous since I don't even know you :D ) even though they are very different. I enjoy reading about your life, and can sympathize with a lot of things you say, your husbands job is for instance very close to my and my boyfriends job and if I ever had a baby I would do and think a lot of the same things you do. Of course there are things that I would do differently, but thats not what stands out after reading your blog. Whats stands out is, how you try to be a good mother, a good wife, a good daughter and a good friend. What I admire is how you openly engage in discussions, this is something I have rarely seen with american bloggers, or maybe bloggers in general, and its quite frankly something that keeps me coming back because I find the discussions here often intellectually stimulating.

    I feel connected to you even though we are very different in many aspects (the biggest probably being faith, and sharing things on the internet). Especially in today's world I think it's important that we recognize no matter how big our differences are, as humans there is more that unites us than separates us.

    I truly wish all the best to you!

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    1. thanks so much, merle! it's amazing the connections we can discover in our increasingly amazingly connected world! and i agree that the discussions in the comments here can be really intellectually stimulating. i am grateful for that!

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  34. I enjoy your blog. I don't share your religious or political views, but I do enjoy reading about life in London, seeing Mo, etc. I realize that the flowery, "over-thesauresed" language is a part of who you are. If I don't want to read it, I don't have to. Most of your readers would say that I enjoy "white privilege" as well. And those that get their knickers all in bunches about your privilege come across as awfully jealous, if you ask me. I see it as you sharing your life. It's who you are! I'm not sure what they expect. We can only share from what we know/are.

    I will say that, since you apparently do not care for our new President, you are fortunate to be living overseas and away from the idiocy that has surrounded his election and inauguration. I wish that all the children who are throwing tantrums and whining about him and his policies would move to London with you! He wasn't my first choice either (although almost anyone is better than Obama or Hillary), but he's the President-it doesn't matter if you (speaking generally) like it or not. Last I knew, Trump's policies haven't restricted anyone from leaving!

    Happy Tuesday!

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    1. Jess, good luck to you. Hope the tangerine tyrant intensifies your white privilege through your new and improved tax benefits. You may be privileged, but you come across as lazy and kind of dumb (#jesswasteofwhiteprivilege).

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    2. thanks for sharing your perspective, jess. sorry anonymous here made a hashtag for you - that was kind of rude! :) although all of us can be lazy and dumb at times, i'm sure you're neither of those things generally :) xo

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    3. Thanks Charity. I would say that anyone who is so rude and cowardly that they need to post anonymously doesn't warrant my time and attention. She's just perpetuating my statement regarding jealousy. And no worries about the hashtag! I could come up with one for her, but my white-privileged self is just too dumb and lazy! ;-) Have a great day!

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  35. I am always so encouraged by your bright outlook. While I am not yet a mother, your joy and obvious happiness for Moses in your life, inspires me. I'm not sure why people constantly make comments about you being privileged, most Americans are in one way or another. Not all, I realize, but many are. You have always come across genuine. So, if nothing else, you have inspired and encouraged me. I'm sure the answers to the questions you have will come to you. Thank you for the inspiration you have been to me these last 3-4 years.

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  36. Charity these trolls aren't giving you constructive criticism they are just mean bullies. Ignore them and keep being you.

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    1. i disagree, cheryl. while comments on this blog (and this post) are sometimes bullying, there are also nuggets of perspective that i can learn from - i do see much of it as constructive when i try to look at it in a humble way.

      thanks for your support :) xo

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    2. Yes, Cheryl. Shawni is the one who wants fan girls like you. Charity is a little more mature and likes to be challenged.

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  37. Hi Charity! It stresses me out to think about you making your blog private, because it brings me so much joy and inspiration. Please don't do that! If it gets bad enough that you are on the brink of making it private, would you consider turning off the commenting option first, please?

    I am a 28 year-old Director of Faith Formation at a Catholic Church -- a job that I find very life giving in so many ways, but also that frustrates me to know end, because I have 600 bosses. Every person at the Church has an opinion and I get lots of positive feedback on the programs I offer, and lots of negative feedback as well. The negative feedback I receive tends to come from the same few people, over and over. Sometimes, I just have to tell myself, "Haters gonna hate." It's such a cliche saying, but it helps me keep perspective. It's a joy and a privilege that I get to touch some lives, and I can't make everyone happy.

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    1. what an interesting dynamic in your profession! thanks for sharing. i'm not planning on going private ... and i think my skin is thick enough for that to last for quite a while :) the good definitely outweighs the haters! :)

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  38. These comments are ridiculous. And I would say that "privilege" is also readily apparent when someone has the time to comment another's blog and access to the internet in order to do so. I'd also say that "privilege" is apparent when one believe's that Charity is not entitled to her own thoughts about how she is digesting a particularly difficult week for many people. I think using your own family, and the safety and security you feel about them, as a way to leverage your thoughts on issues far and away is something many people do. I'm sorry your words were so twisted here this week. I think people across the country were doing the same thing as they grappled with these moral/political/humanitarian issues. From my point of view, you have nothing to apologize for regarding this post. Thanks for your thoughts.

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  39. I do not think you come off as narcissistic or lonely or needing affirmation. I don't get why you share so much of yourself online, but I sure enjoy it! :-)

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    1. The other day, I have read an article about a German politician. She received a lot of hate postings on her Facebook page etc. and she decided to visit some of the posters. Interestingly enough, some didn't even realise how impolite their posts had been or they reasoned they just wrote their feelings which isn't a bad thing to do.

      While I think it's a good and interesting thing that you want to hear criticism in order to reflect on yourself, I don't think that every "hater" deserves that much attention.

      Also, I hope I haven't given unsolicited advice (like just now). I like giving advice and getting advice (and respecting decisions).

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  40. Hi Charity!

    I`ve been reading your blog for a few years now and I absolutely love it. I share your enthusiasm for life; for beauty, flowers, family, marriage, real friendship, faith, religion, travelling.
    I enjoy gaining a new perspective on everything and broaden my horizon by reading your posts.
    And although I disagree with some contents of your religion I`ve enjoyed learning about Mormonism.
    I guess that many people are jealous because you`ve created a beautiful life for your little family. And also, many people want to have it all and don`t understand that for most people, this is simply not possible. You have to set priorities to achieve your dreams. And you do both! Good for you!
    And you ALWAYS make clear how thankful you are for EVERYTHING in your life, the good and the hard, the challenges and the dreams come true.
    I really don`t know how you could stress that even more.
    Life can sometimes be beautiful and sometimes be hard for ALL of us, no matter how wealthy and healthy and happy and privileged (or not) we are.
    And I`m honestly very sorry that you are currently facing some challenges that involve other people. I hope you`ll find a good way to deal with it so that peace will come to your mind and soul.
    All my love to you and your little family,
    Matilda

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    1. ^THIS. Charity, I appreciate the (very generous) window you have opened into your family's life. I come from a quite different family, religious, social and political perspective than you, but in this era where it's easier and easier to solo ourselves from other perspectives I think it's important to have cordial dialogue between different viewpoints.
      You are very gracious and are clearly incredibly grateful for the life you live. Keep on keeping on!

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  41. Hi Charity - I just wanted to drop a note here and say that I thought some of the comments on this post were very disturbing. I enjoy reading your thoughts and also think that you couldn't be more appreciative of all the goodness that you've been blessed with. I do not think you come across as smug at all.

    It's heartening reading your most current post to hear that others are feeling the same way I am about the election and recent events. I too am very privileged, yet knowing that I personally am likely to be unaffected by DJT's actions somehow doesn't feel like much of a consolation. I appreciate that you too care about others and those who are less fortunate than you. Hope you are having a wonderful time (my guess is off to the Maldives - one of the most amazing places on Earth!)

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  42. I love you Char and love what you wrote here. And that painting....so beautiful.

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