28 June 2017

ten thoughts on a wednesday

IMG_7909one.
when we moved into our flat, ian asked me which aspects of maintaining our home i would like him to take ownership for. one thing i told him was that i wanted fresh flowers on our table as close to always as possible. it’s not haw he would choose to spend on his own, but nearly every week my husband brings home flowers. and i have delighted in blooms of all different kinds in this same ikea vase throughout the two years we have spent in our tiny home. sometimes the littlest, simplest things bring the biggest, simplest happiness.

two.
when i posted the above ^^ on instagram, some followers asked me to explain a bit more about how ian and i coordinate the division of labor in our marriage/shared life. we definitely have decided to specialize in certain things (he is the breadwinner, i am the homemaker), but we both feel really strongly that each should contribute to the other’s speciality, and that it is important to communicate clearly about the division of labor, and decide together rather than just allow things to happen as they will. when it comes to home maintenance, we have determined (for now) that ian is in charge of dishes, taking out the trash, and cleaning the baseboards and walls once a month (in addition to making sure we always have fresh flowers on the table :) ). he also shops for and makes dinner every sunday. when it comes to childcare, ian takes ownership for baths, fingernail clipping, feeding breakfast, and changing diapers whenever he is at home/with moses. when it comes to finances, i update our budget spreadsheet every week, and contribute financially to our family in some small ways right now and plan to work part time in the near-ish future. of course we sometimes swap jobs, chip in on each other’s designated responsibilities, and try to support each other as much as possible in our individual pursuits, all of which we see as the means to the end of strengthening our family.

three.
on rainy days, i’ve started taking moses to the london transport museum, which is literally a four minute walk from our flat. there’s cool old and new buses inside, and a couple fun soft play areas, and a free song & story time on tuesdays -- little mo absolutely loves it all!
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four.
i mentioned this in an earlier “ten thoughts” post, but i have continued to think a lot about stretching myself so that i can grow and change in positive ways – physically, emotionally, spiritually, mentally, and socially. i love this quote from a journal of my grandma’s: when you master the seemingly impossible it does something for you that fits into your very character, and makes the next impossible thing seem that much easier. and this quote from russell m. nelson, one of the twelve apostles: when you spiritually stretch beyond anything you have done before, then His power will flow into you. i feel like, in a lot of aspects of my life, i have just been gliding lately. i need to stretch more into the seemingly impossible.

five.
this past saturday, we got together with our friends from our prenatal course for a first birthday party! i can’t believe it was over a year ago that we were all meeting for the first time and learning together.  all our cute babies were inside our bellies, and we had no idea what was coming! and now those little humans are eating everything, crawling everywhere, and delighting and challenging us daily. ian, moses and i are all grateful for this great group of friends and it was so fun to celebrate our babies birthdays (all coming up in the next few weeks!) together at a little garden picnic. IMG_7930IMG_7929IMG_7871 IMG_7879IMG_7884IMG_7891IMG_7893
^^ taking a picture of seven 11-month olds together is certainly a challenge :) ^^

six.
speaking of friends we made before moses was born, this past sunday we had a special guest over to our flat for dinner – the awesome guy that works at our neighborhood sweet shop and filled our gender-reveal pinata for us last february! laury is this super fun and kind young man from lithuania that was a little caught off guard when we came in the shop and asked him to read what was written on a paper inside a sealed envelope and then fill up a monkey shaped pinata with bonbons of a specific colour based on what he read. but once he understood the idea behind what we were asking him to do, he was super excited to do it! a few months ago we peeked in the shop and recognized laury and introduced him to our son, and invited him to come over for dinner sometime – and then last weekend he did, and we had a really lovely evening hanging out with him and getting to know him better. we are so glad that he has become a good friend.

seven.
ian and i had a great goals day last saturday (we set aside the entire day, except for a quick break to go to the baby birthday party as mentioned above) to work on developing a family constitution, to talk through how we want to be deliberate as parents, to discuss the things we need to work on in our marriage, and to make goals and develop visions for the future. we try to do this quarterly. this saturday we recommitted to asking each other two questions each night – what did you do for others today? and what did you learn from the holy ghost today? and ask ourselves two questions each week – am i making sacrifices and being sanctified? and do i want moses to become like me?

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eight.
i am grateful for friendship. i just realized that i didn’t blog about the time that my good friend keri and her husband ryan came through london back in may. keri and i were roommates when i lived in provo, utah for several months after my mission, and she is a really phenomenal human. she is incredibly wise and one of my favourite people on earth to talk to. i loved getting to know ryan and being in london with keri. we somehow only got one picture together during their visit!

nine.
a little girls’ night out recently with some girlfriends here in london also didn’t make it on to the blog –. a few weeks ago a bunch of us met at shake shack in covent garden and then walked over to udderlicious for ice cream. i have met some really remarkable women here in london and  i’m grateful for developing friendships and cool people to learn from.
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ten.
one of both ian’s and my favourite things to do is to peek in on moses when he is sleeping. it’s funny to see all the positions he gets himself into, and just so sweet to watch him slumber. it just melts both of our hearts to puddles. we can’t believe our son will be a one year old in less than two weeks! it seems like just the past month or so he has really become so much bigger physically and developmentally. it’s all so so so bittersweet.
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happy wednesday! life is beautiful!

12 comments :

  1. Could you explain a bit more about your weekly budget spreadsheet? We have a pretty detailed budget for our family that we are pretty good at sticking to, but we don't re-visit it on a such a regular basis. Do you input all your purchases or expenditures weekly? I'm just curious about how I could do a bit better in this department. Thank you!

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  2. I love the idea of a family constitution. And I'd love to hear what you come up with!

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  3. Ten Thoughts on a Wednesday is my favorite series that you do-keep it up!

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  4. Hi Charity,

    Would you be willing to talk more about your 'goals day'? How did you structure the day so that is was productive? How did you come up with your constitution? I've been really thinking a lot lately about being deliberate in all areas of life, as a mother, wife, my career, health/fitness, etc. I'd love to do this with my husband but I'm not sure where or how to start.

    PS. Ten Thoughts is also my favorite series to follow right now. :) Thanks!

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  5. Please forgive me, but what does sanctified mean in this context ?
    Thank you. <3

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    1. forgiven - haha! :) by sanctified we mean made more holy - more pure, loving, kind, selfless and refined.

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  6. What happened to answers to all the LDS questions?

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    1. i am working on one more q&a post. it will be published soon! i also have been answering questions in the comment sections of my posts on the topic of mormonism.

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  7. Ten Thoughts on a Wednesday is my fav right now too :) I love reading about the deliberate planning, discussing and consulting you and Ian do together in order to become better people and better parents. Thank you for sharing these intimate details of your family life - your words alone inspire me to become better, too. Lastly, I can relate to your "stretching" and "gliding" feeling (as a woman, wife and mother) and I love the words you chose to describe the experience of growth. You are a beacon of light!

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  8. I have to let you know how much I admire you. I'm a mother of five children (oldest 11, youngest 1) and I am constantly learning from things you say. You are wise and so, so gracious with others. Thank you for your kind heart, fair perspective, and helping us other humans strive to just be/do a little better.

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  9. I read this earlier but got distracted and didn't comment. I'm so happy to see you so happy with such delicious friends. You're creating an friend culture not only for yourself but also for Moses which he will always treasure!

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  10. Plus you're great at developing a terrific friendship with that forever friend and partner, Ian!

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