ten thoughts on a wednesday |18|

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one.
i can’t believe it’s been so long since i last published a blog post! it’s just been a wild couple of weeks. we have begun our search for a new flat in earnest, my parents came to visit, moses got an awful little tummy bug, we took a trip to switzerland, ian has been ultra busy at work, and, frankly, i’ve just been feeling like i’m in a bit of a rut in a few different ways lately. i’m grateful for the new start that every single day offers.

two.
i think i may have finally convinced ian to enter into a new phase of traveling. i’m soooo glad we’ve have all the adventures we’ve had over the past few years, and our pace and mode of traveling has been exhilarating -  really filling our life with a lot of wonder and learning. but i’m ready for a new chapter - i’m just tired of quick weekend trips and packed travel itineraries! i want to go to one destination and spend a week or two experiencing it without any rush. we have a couple quick trips planned in october and one in december, but i’m hoping 2018 will be a bit more … slow. we are thinking ten days in morocco in early march and a two week road trip along the french riviera in late summer. knowing us, i’m sure we’ll sneak in some sort of ridiculous quick trips here and there, but truly, it’s time for a new era :)

three.
moses is just … growing up. he’s transforming from our little baby into a little boy. he’s graduated from taking 2-5 uneasy steps between us to taking 10-15 wobbly steps across the living room with this adorable super-proud look on his face. he’s repeating animal sounds and some simple words, and he’s remarkably good at following instructions i give him about cleaning up or pointing at something in a book or doing one of his tricks. he’s obsessed with his dad and with dogs and birds. he’s snuggly and affectionate, loooves giving stuffed animals hugs (with the sweetest little “awww” sound), and sometimes grabs both sides of my face to pull me in for a slobbery kiss. i keep thinking he must have hit an apex of cuteness, but honestly he just keeps getting more darling to me. i am so, so grateful to be his mama.

four.
i feel like i’ve been learning a lot in my marriage lately – about my husband, about myself, about life and relationships and humanity. it’s amazing and beautiful to me, this process of refining and discovering that comes from committing to share your life with someone else.

five.
it was so great to have my parents in town for a few days last week. and, actually, they are coming back to london tomorrow! (they spent some time elsewhere in europe in between.) i got to help my mom a bit with a new book she’s writing about grandmothering, i adored watching moses play with his grandparents, and we all had some really fun meals and conversations all together. the highlight of their time in london for me was the bike ride my dad and i took together one perfect autumnal morning through london’s parks. my parents are some of my very best friends on earth, and i’m so so glad for that. IMG_9491

six.
gosh, switzerland has a major corner on spectacular. seriously, that country! it’s crazy. every time i go i am blown away by its beauty. i am excited to share some pictures from our adventures there last week. but first, i still have faroe island pictures to post! this planet is so amazing.
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seven.
the other day, i was sitting on the couch reading a book about a baby bear and a mama bear with moses. when we got to the end of the story, i asked moses to point at the baby bear, and then at the mama bear. then i said, “little mo, where’s your mama?” moses looked right in my eyes, pointed right in my face, and said mama.
he’s been saying that word and associating it with me for quite a few weeks, but that crystal clear moment was just so tender and somehow remarkably fulfilling and beautiful for me.
when moses says dada his voice is high-pitched and bright (usually because he’s soooo stinking excited to see ian), but when he says mama his voice is kind of low and raspy and warm. i love it.
on another day, a stranger delighted by the little mo asked me how old he was. after i told her, she looked me right in the eye and said, “you are so lucky.” yes, i am. i am so, so lucky.

eight.
the whole process of moving is just a big. ole. pain. and i want it to be over, already! we have to be out of our flat by 8 november, so the pressure is really on to find our next place … and juggling the pros and cons of lots of different properties in this wild city is just exhausting! we actually found what felt like the perfect spot, and then we got outbid by someone else (when it comes to renting in london, there’s lots of negotiation back and forth between the landlord and potential tenets around price, requirements, etc). now i compare everything to that place and i’m just … excited to be done searching for a place to live at some point :) then it’s on to the actual moving bit, which also comes with challenges for sure! but it’s exciting. it’s a new chapter for our family. we are grateful to live in this amazing city. it’s been fun to be in different neighborhoods viewing different flats and imagining us living there!
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nine.
i’ve been thinking lately about feelings and how emotions guide our lives in so many ways. i’ve been ridiculed a bit for trusting my feelings so much when it comes to my faith, but the more i think about it, the more i realize how vital feelings are to so many aspects of being human. feelings are how we determine who we love and build relationships with, how we spend our time, what we believe about basic right and wrong, our sexuality and personality and identity. of course emotions can be fickle and deceiving and conflated, but they’re important! i believe in really listening to our hearts and our minds, together.

ten.
autumn in here. yay! without a doubt, my favourite season. i love that we live on a planet with different seasons (in many places). yesterday i experienced such a perfect fall afternoon. moses and i met some friends in green park and then walked home in that distinctive slanty light of autumn past trafalgar square, where some really talented street performers were filling the air with music as the black cabs and red buses cruised by on our london streets. it was a little slice of wonderful.
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happy wednesday! life is beautiful!

10 comments:

  1. I'm so curious to hear why you're in a rut - professional fulfillment? friendships? wind down from travel? It was just surprising to read that!

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    1. all of the above fit into my rut a little! maybe i'll share a bit more in the future, but it's no biggie. just one of those times when you feel like you gotta pull up your bootstraps and move ahead, doing better.

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  2. Ruts happens to the best of us sometimes! Dreams come true, like marriage and being a stay at home mom, are AWESOME and can also be really hard, depleting work. Both are true.

    The one thing about emotions is that while they can be very telling they can also be fleeting. One huge help to me in marriage is to think about how to RESPOND when I have strong feelings instead of reacting.

    I think marriage is a practice of daily forgiveness, acceptance, and personal responsibility. Although we share so much with our spouses (almost everything, kids, home, bed, money) we are not responsible for each others happiness/sadness/or anything else.

    As my favorite line in Hamilton says "I am the one thing in life I can control. I am inimitable; I am an original."

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    1. thanks, jenny! i agree with all of this full-heartedly!

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    2. we are not responsible for each other happiness! so true! and so hard to accept and understand

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  3. As for a slow trip I can absolutely recommend getting a houseboat which can be done in the South of France, too (canal du midi). Since you're not allowed to drive fast at all, this was the slowest vacation I've ever had. I'd just hesitate because of Moses, but he could wear a swim west.

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  4. Charity,
    I also moved to the UK just a few months ago, from Italy, so I'm REALLY a foreigner here. How I wish I didn't have an accent some time!
    It's so hard making friendships when you're not in school anymore! I work full time but it's different in the office. I really hope I can exit this rabbit hole soon!

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  5. "he must have hit an apex of cuteness..." I remember feeling this EXACT same way when each of my children turned one. I remember sometimes feeling a little sad because the camera just could not capture how cute they were and I thought- no one is ever going to believe me or understand just how adorable they were at this stage!!! I love how much you are enjoying that sweet little one-he does look darling!

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  6. Charity - I was just in London on my honeymoon and saw you and your mom (I think it was your mom) walking on the street! At first I thought you looked familiar but couldn't place it, and by the time I realized it was you we were too far away to say hi. I was totally starstruck and my husband (so crazy to say that - I almost typed fiancé!!!) who does not read blogs was so confused at my excitement and kept asking how I "knew" you - I went on for about 10 minutes about how excited I was. In any case next time I am in London and see you, I will definitely say hi! Just had to comment and let you know!! :)

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    1. no way! i wish you would have been able to say hi! that's crazy, in this huge city! thanks for letting me know ... next time ;)

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