happy valentine's day!

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this morning on my run, the lyrics of a song coming through my headphones made me all goosebumpy.

suppose i never ever met you, suppose we never fell in love, suppose i never ever let you kiss me so sweet and so soft
suppose i never ever saw you, suppose you never ever called, suppose i kept on singing love songs, just to break my own fall

with that music in my ears and as i let the cold london air run through my lungs and my hair, i felt excruciatingly grateful for my forever valentine - that we did meet, and that we did fall in love! on a california beach at sunset, i let him kiss me so sweet and so soft, and i was hooked from that moment on. we (eventually - ha!) chose each other, and committed to sharing our lives forever, and created a family - and made two little boys! oh, there have been a lot of ups and downs in our relationship over the years, but through it all (and because of it all!) we have a really, really great love. 

i was that annoyingly quixotic teenage girl, breathlessly daydreaming of romance. i feel like so many people warned me that falling in love “wasn’t like in the movies.” and when i fell in love for the first time i decided that i agreed - not like the movies at all ... but way better in real life. then, when i fell in love with ian i was genuinely shocked that the experience was that much sweeter and more exciting and amazing than any other romance i’d experienced before.

i believe in true love! it is real magic. i am so, so, so glad to be living my own epic, unique, really tough and super awesome love story.

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i also believe in the immense power and beauty in non-romantic love. there are as many forms of love as there are moments in time, and they are all awesome. this february fourteenth, i feel filled to the brim with love for my parents, siblings, dear friends, new friends, in-laws, baby boys and lots of random humans from all over the time and space of my life that have inspired me and enriched my life.

all that is to say - i love valentine’s day! and i hope everyone reading this has a really happy day celebrating any and all kinds of love. how great is it to have an excuse to reflect on and revel in the love that truly is all around us in this crazy world?! give some hugs and kisses and thank yous today … and eat lots of treats! 

{as part of my celebrating today, i dug up a few of my favourite photos of me and my forever valentine! i was planning on quickly picking like ten to share and then ended up with many more…whoops!}

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love you forever, ian wright! our hearts were made for each other’s - yours and mine. 

13 comments:

  1. Happy Valentines Day, Charity. You and Ian make a very attractive, sweet couple and Mo is a cutie.

    I just don't understand why in this post (and many others) you keep emphasizing how "really tough" your relationship is. There are bumps in any relationship but truly, it's not supposed to be "really tough".. that often.

    What is going on?

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    1. frankly, i am tired of the ubiquitous messages i see (especially on social media) that make marriage (and romantic relationships in general) seem like only rainbows and butterflies. i actually emphasized in this post how incredibly awesome my relationship with my husband is. but i did mention that our love story has been really tough (in some ways). i am not sure where you got the “that often” bit as i didn’t quantify the tough bits at all. i just really feel disingenuous any time i write about my marriage as a whole without mentioning that sometimes it is difficult. i want my voice to go beyond rainbows and butterflies! because the tough bits make it all so beautiful. obviously every marriage is different, but i think most are (at times) a lot of work, and i am sincerely so glad to have to fight a bit for the love that ian and i share.

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    2. I'm thankful that you don't try to paint an overly (and dishonestly) positive picture of your life and marriage. Marriage can be hard- it's okay to admit that. Social media (facebook) was really big and new when I first got married, and I felt pressured at times by comments people put up about how they never fought, loved their spouse more every second, etc. With some time and maturity (and seeing several of those relationships once bragged about on social media fall apart and end in divorce) I've come to realize real life and real marriages take some work and "mutual toleration" (I think I'm quoting Gordon B. Hinckley). I love your blog- it's so uplifting and REAL. Thanks for writing it.

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  2. where is that parking garage roof looking thing you are on top of in salt lake, we are taking pictures in a few weeks and i want a rooftop like that!

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    1. i don’t actually know, haha! our photographer brought us up there!

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  3. I would have to respectfully disagree with the comment above. I truly feel that my husband and I are as close to soul mates as you can get and it’s still really touch. Especially in this season of life, we also have two children under 5. We have a great marriage counselor who we see every few months and we have our Faith, and we really like each other! But it is still a challenge to live with, and love, someone 24/7. I wish more people were as open and honest as you are Charity about the fact that while relationships have wonderful highs, they also have very low points, and that is perfectly normal.

    As a disclaimer I am obviously not talking about situations where any type of abuse exists, or addictions, etc.

    Happy Valentine’s Day! Love your blog!

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    1. Jenica ....Could not agree with your comment more! Having been married 23 years, I can say I have felt all the feels. My marriage and life are really great, but seriously it is called "real life". Also, we too see a counselor every so often. As my Mom says....the time for growth is not in the middle of a crisis, it is when you can really concentrate and WORK on things.

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    2. Charity,
      I always appreciate your honesty and I share your feelings and those of commenters who agree. Isn't it a Shakespeare quote, "The course of true love never did run smooth." ?
      Partners grow and change over time (and boy am I glad I did in many of those ways!) and external forces of life (job stressors, for instance, at least in our case) really have an impact even on the happiest and most stable committed relationships.
      Modern marriage asks partners some pretty hefty (and unreasonable) tasks: find and/or then be the ONE person who fulfills you(or partner) psychologically and intellectually and emotionally and physically...the strain of that load is a delicate balance and often challenging if not impossible! I thoroughly enjoy the lessons marriage has taught me: deep, trusting love alongside humility, forgiveness, and - good grief - being forgiven.

      I have followed your blog for years and I recognize many of those "old" photos (I did forget how long your was!). I find it so easy to follow along and cheer you on in this adventure of life (and we are perfect strangers and I'm not Mormon (or even religious)). You and Ian are so photogenic and your smiles make me smile.

      With gratitude,
      A

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  4. Marriage is hard for many of us! And not just at the beginning, I've been married for 15 years. Beautiful, full of love, and HARD. Thanks so much for including it all in your posts, Charity. I REALLY appreciate it.

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  5. Oy! how long your *hair* was....
    :)

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  6. No wonder you couldn't narrow it to ten - so many gorgeous pictures and memories! Great message. <3

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  7. I am glad you mentioned how tough it is. Even totally in love..best friends.. etc.. Marriage can be tough. Tough to spend every day with that one person...year after year.. there are moments that are going to drive you up the wall... followed by moments of trying to figure out... is it ME causing this...? My latest lesson...is the tone of how I answer... wowie..that one can be a toughie. Man alive... relating to another human is tough...but...my Soul is Growing by leaps and bounds.

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