motherhood is so incredibly important and powerful and sacred and beautiful to me. so - even though my postpartum, sleep-deprived brain is pretty fuzzy today - i couldn’t let the week of mothers’ day pass without sharing some thoughts here! i want to write something eloquent and poignant that somehow articulates how much i love being a mom, how much i appreciate and adore my mom, how tremendously meaningful i feel motherhood is … but even with a sleep-fed and hormone-balanced mind i still couldn’t do this topic any justice.
so here’s just some totally scattered thoughts for mothers’ day, two thousand eighteen.
i love, love, love that someone calls me “mama.” the sound of little mo’s voice saying that simple word just has to be the sweetest, best, most wonderful sound in the universe. especially when he’s saying it while giving me a big hug.
and i love, love, love the feeling of tiny gabriel curled up on my chest, breathing through his nose, his chest rising and falling so tenderly. and his perfectly contented face after he finishes nursing! oh, it is heaven.
i anticipated that i would really love being a mom, but my expectations have been so far exceeded.
i feel like parenting (and particularly full-time-motherhood) is, in a way, a glorious opportunity to relive childhood - but armed with adult wisdom. watching my sons grow is illuminating, hilarious, uniquely challenging and so much fun.
this week i watched this little one-minute video several times and every time it made me cry. it’s so good! i also listened to these two talks (one / two) this week and gosh there’s some inspiring, empowering stuff in there.
my mom is outrageously amazing. i am over here trying to figure out life with two kids and flabbergasted that my mom did it all - so very graciously - with nine. nine! she is a superhero, an angel, a wonder, and a saint.
(^^ this photo will always be one of my favourites in the world. i am that tiny baby, number nine! ^^)
and nothing has helped me appreciate my mom more than having her with me around the birth of my own children. i was blown away by her magic during the time of moses’s birth and then somehow even more amazed during her time with us welcoming gabriel into the world. both times she seriously worked her butt off in helping and supporting me and my growing family. she is love, humility, service and goodness personified. i am soooo lucky to be her daughter.
my mother-in-law is another brand of magic and also an absolute angel. she has taught me so much through her example and her love. i am so very grateful for the gold she instilled in my husband, and i so deeply admire her. she just spent ten days with us and her presence and help was such a gigantic, fantastic gift. (also, she and moses are seriously bffs and i love that so much.)
there are many women in my life that have helped to mother me, and to teach me about motherhood. i am so thankful every mothers’ day for my sisters, sisters-in-law, and close friends.
i absolutely recognize that motherhood is a painful topic for some. the hurt that surrounds some people’s experiences or lack of experiences with motherhood is so deep and real and hard. every mothers’ day i try to get better at heartily celebrating something that i feel deserves fervent celebration while simultaneously acknowledging and honoring that hurt.
i have to say, one great perk of being an american mom living in the uk is that i get two mothers’ days! england’s “mothering sunday” is in march while american mothers’ day is in may! ian asked me which one i wanted to celebrate and I was like, “duh, obviously both!” ;)
i had such a great (american) mothers’ day this year. after church and moses’s nap, we had a dinner picnic in our garden and then went on a family walk to kensington gardens. it was such a beautiful evening. moses ran through the tall grass, ian chased him, i nursed gabriel while sitting at the base of a big huge tree, we facetimed with our moms. then moses found some puddles (one of his very, very most favourite things), and we walked past some gorgeous neighborhood scenes on our way home. my heart was brim with contented joy.
i was singing this song to moses today and looked up the full lyrics. i think it kind of sweetly fits a mother-child relationship:
i love you a bushel and a peck / a bushel and a peck and a hug around the neck
a hug around the neck and a barrel and a heap / a barrel and a heap and i'm talkin' in my sleep
i love you a bushel and a peck / a bushel and a peck though you make my heart a wreck
make my heart a wreck and you make my life a mess / make my life a mess, yes a mess of happiness
i love being a mom and i am so grateful to be a mom. it’s my fondest dream come true, my most fulfilling role, my sweetest challenge, my most important work.
i am everlastingly glad that someone calls me mama!