on peace

 
last saturday morning i went to a beginning zazen meditation class at the san francisco zen center. after learning about posture and awareness, we sat in meditation for fifteen minutes. urban sounds drifted in the open windows, the air got thick with our breath, and the sun cast beams of light on the bamboo floor as we all attempted to let go, to give in and savor peace. i thought about choosing happiness, i felt the blood run through my veins, and i let go. after the class, kelsey, beth and i sat in the sun in the gorgeous courtyard and talked quietly. i felt such lovely unshackled tranquility.

peace is a calm assurance that it’s okay or it’s going to be okay … but often for me that doesn’t feel enough, because i don’t want to be okay. i want to be super awesome!!! lately i have been practicing letting go of the super awesome and realizing that it’s okay that it’s okay.

the saviour said, “peace i leave with you, my peace i give unto you; let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.” i believe that i can choose peace.