the husband book

when i was thirteen, i opened up a blank notebook and wrote MY HUSBAND at the top of the first page with a sparkly silver pen, then added a cute little star on each side of the letters. and i started listing.

i was a very melodramatic teenager (aren't you shocked?!), and all through high school i was tremendously lovesick. i spent quite a bit of energy scheming up romantic scenarios in my mind, daydreaming of kisses in the rain, and listing ridiculous musings in my "husband book."

{i had to blur out some names of specific boys in this picture - haha!}

and by the time graduation came, i had a tattered notebook full of 897 qualities i wanted in a future spouse.

i have to say, some of the things listed, even from the youngest years, are pretty significant and profound. but a lot of them are so silly:
10 - puts stars in my eyes every time i see him
60 - tells me i smell good
119 - doesn't really flirt with other girls
132 - takes my breath away
192 - not shy to be cute with me
281 - humble even though he is extremely good looking
309 - has a soothing, sexy voice
448 - dimples would be a plus
490 - is cute when he sleeps
566 - buys lemonade from kids on street corners
612 - soft hands (not sweaty)
738 - i want to hang out with him like everyday
800 - gets jealous
893 - will cuddle with me anytime

i also wrote letters to my future husband and listed ideas for my wedding in the same book. and, i'm not going to lie, my contributions to the husband book did not end after high school. every year or so i've gone back and written down things i've learned from relationships and from life about what i really want and need in a spouse (after taking a few minutes to giggle at the things i listed when i was younger).

a few years ago, i realized that despite the fact that i'd topped a thousand characteristics and attributes in my husband book, i actually only have three things on my real list.

to be continued...


  1. you are just the absolute cutest!

  2. haha I love this list! Mine had like 40 things on it and one is "good arms".. I think you saw the bigger picture better than me in high school. My favorite from that picture is "says perfect things".

  3. Can I guess what they are? Loves God more than me. Selfless and charitable. Makes me laugh.

  4. No! Such a cliffhanger.

    I would guess:

    1. male
    2. alive
    3. mormon

    Am I close?

  5. This is sooo fun and funny! Wish I could have seen that to go along with the tape recording you made of every chapter in your biology book so you could play it back to yourself as you fell asleep. That was a pretty good thing to do in bed by the way! LOL!

  6. This is so great. How about: spontaneous, great with kids, and calm.

    I love reading your blog, btw. Thank you.

  7. LDS
    Wants to travel
    Wants kids

  8. I had a book with lists too. Adding and revising still.
    I'd guess:
    1. good. Really good Mormon boy. In ALL aspects (lots of specifics for that)
    2. No debt
    3. So many things it could be and should be. I'll say a healthy addition
    Can't wait to find out....

  9. 1. Loves The Lord and honors his Priesthood
    2. Has a desire to be completely committed to wife and family
    3. Loves life and all this mortal existence has to offer.

  10. 1) Loves God 2) Loves you 3) Loves his family and friends and the people of this world.

    That's my guess b/c the Bible says over and over that the most important trait we can have is love.

  11. I say....

    1. Loves the Lord with all of his heart, mind and soul!
    2. Loves and cares for you and your children. Cleaveth unto his wife.
    3. Shares your passion for life!

  12. Isn't it funny...we make up all these ideas in our head..Then we fall in love with a human being.

  13. Oh my gosh, I can't wait to read what you have to say. I too had a long list and have whittled it down to a very small list. I thought I was so creative for starting this. :D - Amy

  14. "Then we fall in love with a human being." Ain't it the truth.

  15. My guesses.

    #1 Similar values/religion

    #2 Wants a life dedicated to kids and family life.

    #3 Ability to take the world/responsibilities seriously without taking himself (or you!) too seriously.

  16. That list is so cute. It really makes me understand why it is you are so obsessed with getting married. You've been raised to think that you really aren't complete until you've married that special person. Well, you ARE complete. It is nice to have a life-companion, but as has been stated, you never know what you're going to end up with. Your young - if it really is your ultimate goal to get married and have kids (I'm thinking the kids part is mostly it) - you'll do it. But don't think that it will all of a sudden make your life complete and wonderful. You have to do that yourself.

  17. I really like your handwriting! :) Can't wait for part two.

  18. Okay, seems like an atheist is quickly dismissed, right? ;)

    But honestly, is religiousness that important for you?

    When i was 14 my list looked like:

    - has got a car!
    - has got curly hair
    - has got a (colourful) tattoo
    - looks like a bad boy but is a softie inside

    Turned out that those who look like bad guys usually are bad guys, too... But I needed several years to realize that.

    In college it was:
    - loves to travel
    - NOT an economics student
    - honest and faithful
    - fun to be around(!)

    But even if my boyfriend had all those qualities I didn't realize that he is THE man to marry before one special holiday.
    I finally realized that I wanted to marry him, after we've hiked through Iceland's wilderness without meeting a single human being for 8 days and still didn't want to burn down our tent and slay each other.

  19. You remind me of the perfect girl named Pansy in "The Portrait of a Lady" by Henry James.


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