planning, planning

my life has sort of been consumed by wedding planning. we are having several celebrations, and there are so many details, and so many choices, and so many options for every choice! but also, my life can't be consumed by this, because there's still so much else going on! it's a peculiar feeling to want time to slow down so we have more space to make plans but simultaneously want time to speed up so we can get to the exciting day and start our lives together. i don't think i'll ever feel this particular brand of mortality again, so i'm doing my best to chose to relish it, even when things feel really stressful. cutting through all the to-dos, i constantly remember how grateful my heart is. 

a few things i am learning from planning a wedding:

-just make a decision and decide it's the best decision. stop considering other options. the stress of everything being just right is not worth it. i have to decide that it is just right! i think this is a really valuable lesson for me to learn for my life in general.

-weddings are expensive!!! and tradeoffs are difficult, but valuable.

-even thought it's the day i've been waiting for and dreaming up my whole life, nothing actually matters. except that i am marrying someone that i love infinitely and trust fiercely.
there's another life lesson: only the stuff that really matters really matters.

-i am more in love with the boy every single day. we think about things so wildly differently, and we have dissimilar priorities on some (doesn't-really-matter) stuff. we are learning how to be together. it's hard and also really really awesome.