wedding q&a part two

good thing i have a couple more engagement pictures i'd love to share - so here's part two :) it's fun for me to answer wedding questions because it helps me organize my thoughts and priorities and also makes me feel really excited and giddy. i just can't believe that we are twenty days away...ahhhhh!

do you wear your wedding dress the day of the sealing and the next day? 

in the temple, we wear very specific clothing, which must be all white, have long sleeves, and a pretty high neckline. for this reason, most lds brides do not wear their wedding dress while they are being sealed. i will be sealed in a simple temple dress (i am hoping to add lace from my mom's wedding dress!) and then will change into my wedding dress to come out of the temple and greet our friends and family (both those that were present in the sealing and those that were not). the boy will also change from his temple clothes (all white) into his wedding suit.

i feel lucky that i get to wear my wedding dress not just once but four times! i will wear it on our wedding day, the following day at our reception, and at the open houses we are having in both texas and california.

when do you first see your spouse the day of your wedding, when you enter the sealing room?

the boy and i will be meeting up a couple of hours before our sealing officially starts to walk over to the temple together (i will be getting my hair done downtown). we will be in just clothes that we'd regularly wear to visit the temple. we'll arrive before our guests so we have time to get situated, and there's a few things we do together in the temple (including taking some time to just sit together in a very peaceful place and reflect on what's ahead!) before the sealing attendees fill the sealing room. we enter the room together last, and then the official ceremony begins.

the boy will see me in my wedding dress (i'm a stickler on the groom-can't-see-before-the-wedding tradition) after we've both changed following the sealing. we'll get to have a moment together inside and then exit the temple together.

you have a big family and so many friends. is it difficult to decide who is in the sealing room? 

yes, it has been very difficult! we also want our wedding dinner the evening of our sealing to be very small, so both lists have been a little excruciating to winnow down. we came to a conclusion that we feel really good about, and we are optimistic that our loved ones understand. the boy and i have talked for a long time (since we first started talking about getting married quite a while ago) about how we want our wedding to not just be about us, but to really celebrate the people that have influenced our lives for good. we want to make everyone in our lives feel special to any degree that we can, because we are so so so grateful!

i've noticed that with so many lds weddings the bridesmaids wear skirts - would you consider that a lds thing or just something that's caught on. are you having bridesmaids and if so are they wearing skirts?

i haven't really noticed this! i bet it's a combination of: (1) just a general trend that has caught on, and (2) the difficulty many mormon women have finding dresses that are knee length or longer and have sleeves.

i am having bridesmaids! they are wearing dresses. i decided to do something a little funky with what i asked my bridesmaids to wear, and i hope it looks good all together! i know that i'll look back at my wedding in ten years and things will look dated pretty much no matter what, so although i think many of the elements are pretty classic, i'm taking some fun risks here and there :)

with so many gorgeous little nieces and handsome nephews, do you incorporate them in some way as flower girls or "page boys" as they say in the uk?

yes! combining the boy's and my nieces and nephews, we will have thirteen flower girls (and four honorary flower girls skyping in from china!) and sixteen page boys/ring bearers/little groomsmen -- not sure what to call them! the girls will all wear cream dresses and the boys will all wear matching bowties. really the only point, since we don't have an aisle to walk down, is to have coordinating pictures and an opportunity for these kids that we love so much to feel special.

i still really can't believe that this is happening -- that the boy came back, that he wants me to be his forever, that such a huge chunk of my fondest dreams are coming true with the best human i know. the boy and i are headed to utah tonight for one last weekend of wedding planning, and i'm very excited to hopefully see most of the details come together.

life is wild, but gosh life is good.


  1. Hi Charity,
    You have an amazing love story! So excited for you and Ian.

    This may be a silly question but after reading your Q&A's I'm wondering if a LDS Temple Sealing is the same as a wedding ceremony .Is a Sealing a legal marriage or only recognized by the Temple. Will you be having both or only the Temple Sealing?

    Thanks for sharing this journey with your readers.

    Best wishes,

  2. Thank you so much for posting about your wedding and explaining some LDS traditions. I love learning about your faith. I think the sealing sounds so wonderful! It seems to be beautifully focused on what is truly important - what an awesome way to start your lives together! In your last post you mentioned the "sealer". Is that a special job for temple workers or priesthood holders? Or is it something different?

    Best of luck! Thanks again for being so kind to your readers and those commenting!

  3. I am so happy for you Charity!! Your joy is so evident in all your pictures and the way you write. This is such an exciting time! It was just two years ago that I got married and it was the most special time of my life! Enjoy every moment!

  4. Where'd you get your cream lace dress in the last picture?

  5. Thanks you so much for sharing. I really enjoy learning about your religion. I have so much respect for you and all the other lds members, you guys have so many things figured out!

  6. I am SO happy for you that things worked out with the boy, that you are getting MARRIED, and most of al l that I will see you at your reception in three weeks! Can't wait to visit Utah, see you and your by then HUSBAND, and do baptisms in the Salt Lake temple!

  7. I wish you a lovely day and life together.

    I also hope once you are married, you will STOP calling your husband "the boy". It's so disrespectful and demeaning. Would you want him to call you "the girl"? Ick!

  8. to answer a couple questions:

    in the united states, an lds temple sealing is a wedding ceremony, recognized by the state. for this reason, we will only have a temple ceremony. in some other countries (as discussed in the comments of my earlier posts), temple sealings are not recognized as legal marriages, so mormon brides & grooms have both types of ceremonies.

    a "sealer" is a special priesthood office. we believe sealers are appointed by god, through his authorized servants (the prophet and apostles), to perform the sealing ordinance. you cannot seek to become a sealer - sealers are chosen, we believe by revelation, to hold that office.

    and no way, i will never stop calling him the boy :) it has totally stuck and we both find it quite endearing. i'd be happy for him to call me the girl - ha! that sounds lovely to me!

  9. Thanks for all the info about LDS weddings. If there is no aisle what does your wedding party do? Where do they stand during the ceremony. Or is a just for pictures/outfits kind of thing? Also, do one or both of your parents get to walk you down the aisle? Since you have no drinking at your reception will there be toasts?

    Enjoy this wonderful time and congratulations.

  10. the wedding party pretty much exists just to look nice for pictures :) and to help family and close friends feel special and stand out at the celebrations. there is no aisle, so no parents walking me down :) my mom will be my "escort" at the temple, meaning she goes with me early and helps me do all the preparatory stuff, and my dad will be a "witness" during the actual ceremony (there are two witnesses, just like during a baptism ordinance, who just watch closely to make sure the ordinance is performed perfectly). the rest of the "wedding party" (some of whom will not be in the temple) are just like the other guests during the ceremony - they sit on either side of the altar the bride and groom kneel at. there will be toasts at our wedding dinner - you can raise your glasses just as easily with punch as with alcohol :)

  11. I think terms of endearment re sweet no matter what they are...and it's up to you to decide what to call each other. I think calling him "the boy" on the blog is adorable. It cracks me up that people think they can tell other people what to do. Have a wonderful wedding day.

  12. This is "the boy."

    I love being called "the boy" by "the girl."


    The boy

  13. Great blog post and amazing photos! I would like to home me and my fiance's engagement photos are as great as yours are. It is interesting that you get to wear your wedding dress 4 times. It is a good thing though because that way you get some use out of it! I have a feeling I will buy my fiance's dress and she will just hang it in the closet and not wear it ever again aside from our wedding day which isn't bad but it kind of stinks due to how expensive dresses are.

    Robert Hung @ Empress Harbor Seafood Restaurant


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