at the hospital with our brand new baby boy
i wanted to share a few more photographs from the time we spent as a brand new family of three at st. thomas’s hospital after moses was born. we ended up staying at the hospital for two nights. i was really itching to go home, and there were some aspects of our stay that were quite uncomfortable, but when i look back at those 48 hours i am filled with sweetness. it was such a tender and beautiful slice of time.
before i share, though, i’d like to respond a little to the comments left on my last post detailing moses’s birth story. i really appreciate all the well wishes and support expressed and am so glad that many readers shared tidbits of their own experiences with childbirth and varied perspectives and opinions stemming from those experiences. i am grateful to understand how my storytelling was interpreted differently by different readers and i truly value the opportunity certain comments have given me to examine my fallacies and broaden my perspective.
i think it’s important that i clarify that while i do believe that cesarean sections are largely over-utilized, and while i had a strong personal preference to avoid one if at all possible, i do not think and would never assert that they are "horrible," (as was stated in some comments). actually, i think that c-sections are really amazing and awesome, and i am so, so glad that they exist for those rare times when vaginal birth is dangerous or impossible. although i recognize the varied benefits of natural childbirth, i definitely do not presume that delivery via c-section is any "less than" vaginal delivery, or that any mother or baby that experiences this incredible surgery (whether by choice or necessity) should be regarded with any less awe, respect or pride. a careful reading of my published birth story will reveal that i never asserted any such opinion.
however, i can see how my story could be interpreted in a way that could lead to such a conclusion, especially by a reader that has experienced a c-section. i should have been more careful in my wording and tone, even through a frazzled, sleep-deprived, hormonal postpartum brain. i sincerely apologize for any offense that was caused. i have edited my original post a little (as much as time has allowed, since moses is pretty needy towards this mama these days :) ).
i also want to make it clear that my overarching fervent desire throughout the childbirth process was to be able to use what i learned and practiced during pregnancy to stay calm during labor and delivery and create an atmosphere of love and tenderness for our son to be born into. it was that hope that i refer to when i say that my prayers were answered and promised blessings were fulfilled – and i consider the miracle of our story to be that i was able to remain at peace in such a stressful situation, and that my cervix responded by opening quickly. my strong feeling that our son was not intended to/didn't need to be born via c-section does not mean that i am any more blessed or privileged than any other birthing mother, and i do not feel that i had any divine promise that moses would be born vaginally. i could have had a similar impression that he was intended to be delivered via c-section, and i would have felt, in that case, just as zealous about advocating towards that outcome. i am certain i would be grateful and in awe no matter how moses was born (but in any circumstance i wouldn’t discount the challenges that accompany interventions and complications).
there's a lot more i could say in response to the response of my birth story, but i'll leave it at that :)
back to photos from the hospital! i was hesitant to post some of these because some are not very flattering pictures of me. but you know what? this is what i looked like after i gave birth. and although i don’t look glamorous, i do look really happy, because i really was – happy in a whole new, spectacular, incredible way. during our hospital stay, ian and i both were delirious with this novel joy and so full of love for god, each other, and our tiny son.
^^ this is how things looks during routine checks of my temperature and blood pressure – it seemed like these were constantly happening and some points! ^^
^^ i am so, so grateful my mom was there with us. there is something so special for me about having my mom with me as i became a mom myself. ^^
^^ with our doula, mars, and the midwife who attended our son’s birth, eirini. we all shared a conviction that heaven was involved in the process. ^^
^^ sorry if this picture makes you queazy. i just think the placenta and the umbilical cord are so so amazing! my body built an entire organ to sustain a growing human life inside of me. wow. // moses weighed 3.18kg at birth. we had to google a conversion to pounds! – 3.18kg is just about 7 pounds even. he was 52cm or 20.5 inches long. ^^
^^ a few hours after moses was born, we were moved to a bed in the postnatal ward. the space was cramped but the views were incredible! ^^
^^ my mom snapped this photo of us on day two. all three exhausted. ^^
^^ so incredibly happy to be a mom. ^^
^^ delighting at being a dad. ^^
^^ it was so fun to tell people that moses is my mom’s twenty eighth grandchild. she’s the best grammie ever. ^^
^^ moses’s first smiles! ^^
^^ in the discharge room, about to go home! ^^
^^ baby boy was required to be in a carseat for the taxi ride home. we were giggling so hard at how tiny he was in this gigantic-looking seat we borrowed from some friends. ^^
^^ our tiny boy arrives at his tiny central london home! ^^
we are so grateful for our moses. he is teaching us so much.
Such an adorable little love, you are so blessed! And I love the pics with the river and parliament in the background! I have followed your blog for a while and I thought your posting about your birth was a very personal, lovely peek into YOUR birth experience. Everyone is different and each woman will have a different story. (Heck, every baby is different. I have 5 kids and 5 different birth stories.) In no way did I take your words to demean or criticize those who have had different birth experiences. I'm sorry that comments made you feel like you had been critical because I don't think you intended it that way and I don't think it came across that way. Caring for a newborn is HARD, so very demanding and time consuming and I'm impressed that you could even write about the birth experience without falling asleep while typing. Congrats and many wishes for happiness (and gosh I wish I had been blessed with a red headed baby!)
ReplyDeleteCharity, this was such a lovely post to read. I love the sneak peek into your family beginnings and think that you look glowing and gorgeous in each and every picture. Moses' first smiles made me smile along too. Can't wait to hear more about your adventures as a family of three. xx
ReplyDeleteJust precious beyond words.
ReplyDeleteYou're so gracious, Charity. You shared your story unapologetically, and with conviction, but I didn't find it insensitive at all. And in the face of criticism and postpartum sleep deprevation and hormones, your response is even keeled and kind and graceful. Congratulations on your darling boy. I hope your recovery is going well!
ReplyDeleteSo happy for this new beautiful chapter in your life. Also, your birthing story was beautiful.
ReplyDeletesimply beautiful.....grateful for your example of motherhood and what being wonderful parents is suppose to be. Your entire family is such examples to many.....love the blogs!
ReplyDeleteThat's one incredibly cute baby! Congrats on your perfect little son. I love how you have described motherhood as so amazing and wonderful, and also hard. I thought being a mom would be wonderful and hard work- and turns out it's even more amazing and also much harder than I anticipated. Absolutely worth it though. Continue to enjoy that sweet boy!
ReplyDeleteThere is not a single picture here where you don't look absolutely gorgeous - positively glowing in the fresh-from-heaven dewy light that babies bring with them. I mean that. Thanks for sharing such sweet and beautiful moments.
ReplyDeleteI think this is the first time I have ever left a comment. I love reading your blog and I loved your birth story. I'm sad so many decided to get so upset that you shared your personal feelings. You are a lovely writer and it is easy to see you love motherhood. Enjoy this journey. I hope you continue to write how you feel and are bold. that is what I adore about your writing. Cheers!
ReplyDeleteI think Moses consistently looks like your dad!
ReplyDeleteI disagree with you! You have never looked more beautiful! And, what a beautiful darling sweet baby boy you have there. Congratulations!
ReplyDeleteI disagree with you! You have never looked more beautiful! And, what a beautiful darling sweet baby boy you have there. Congratulations!
ReplyDeleteI agree with the comments above--you look lovely!! Your thoughtful and kind words written as a response to the many who wrote such unkind comments gave me pause. So unlike my typical reactions. Thanks for the model of kindness.
ReplyDeleteYou look amazing! Saw photos on your moms blog as well, and can't believe how great you looked days after, and in jeans even. Ha! After having 4 kids myself, I think it took me weeks to get out and about. Kuddos to you, Momma! What a doll!
ReplyDeleteHello Charity,
ReplyDeleteI am a little surprise that your Mom having nine children and twenty-eight Grandchildren didn't tell you to support Moses head while in the car seat. You can buy a neck and head support for baby. It really was not nice seeing a newborn baby flopping around and their was nothing to support his precious head. You could also use a blanket or hand towel and roll it up and use this to help to support the head.
Good Luck
I knew someone would make a negative comment about that car seat photo. My first born looked exactly the same when we took her home from a German hospital. So tiny in that big car seat (which was certified for "infants")and had to pass inspection for "safety" by the staff before we took her out of the hospital. I held my baby's head all the drive home. We weren't in the taxi on that drive home with Charity and Ian. We don't know if they did or didn't support Moses' head. How about giving them the benefit of the doubt? It is very clear that they adore their baby boy, and are loving and caring parents. The photos are beautiful, Charity.
DeleteLisa
You are glowing with love and pride in each and every one of these pictures ( your palcentia?..not so much)
ReplyDeleteChar!!!!! I can't wait to squeeze him! Love you!!
ReplyDeleteMoses is beautiful! So thrilled for you! Congrats again!
ReplyDeleteMoses is beautiful! So thrilled for you! Congrats again!
ReplyDeleteSuch a great post!! Thanks for being so kind about the negative comments, but especially for being such an incredible mom! I am so blessed to be your mother!
ReplyDeleteHello!
ReplyDeleteLong time reader, first time commenter (is that a word?) Your birth story was beautifully written. As a Mama who has experienced both natural, then ceserian, I'm astounded anyone was offended by your comments. I prepped, planned, and looked forward to having a second natural delivery with my youngest son, but he was face up, and there wasn't anything I could do to get him to move. But I was at peace, just like you were at peace knowing exactly what needed to happen. It's God, and instinct, and a million other things rolled together to give us Mama's the insight we need to carry, birth, and teach our sweet babies.
Enough rambling..I'm completely thrilled for you, your husband, and sweet Moses (whom, I agree, looks just like your Dad). Thank you for sharing such an intimate experience with your readers. Soak up these first few months, because they simply fly by. Some days feel so long, but all of it passes so quickly! Love and prayers to you!
I've thoroughly enjoyed the birth story and pictures of your sweet little one! He is just adorable! I just wanted to send some positive remarks out and let you know that you are doing great! Good luck and keep plugging along. Those first few weeks can be rough at times but oh what I wouldn't give to live them over again. I say this and my baby is only three so it hasn't been that long. Thanks for inspiring many.
ReplyDeleteYou really are so sweet and gracious! All those silly people who think they have any right to say anything unkind to you are just looking for negative things in your posts. Your photos are beautiful and I am so happy for your little family. Being a mama is so hard and you are such an example of being gracious through that. Thank you!
ReplyDeleteYOU look radiant! So happy for you!
ReplyDelete