dripping with passion

throughout my teenage years, i kept a little book on my nightstand where i occasionally jotted down some dreams for my life. some were profound and some were frivolous. as i moved into adulthood, i sometimes scribbled another hope, whether specific or general, silly or serious, into the margins of my journals. three years ago i compiled these life wishes from my nightstand book and my border notes and my beating heart into a drafty bucket list and published it on this blog (and then published an updated version a year later ). i’m definitely in the yolo and carpe diem camps, and i really believe in sucking the marrow out of life . however, in the past few years, my perspective on how to do that, on truly getting the very most out of mortality, has shifted a bit. i’ve realized, more deeply than before, that the type of adventures that typically end up on bucket lists, while worthwhile in many ways, really don’t matter . such experiences can definitely go beyond being fun and the ...

  i’m obsessed with autumn. {some proof: our autumn wedding , vineyard autumn , mountain autumn } i felt a bit dubious about london autumn because halloween isn’t much of a thing in the uk, and the carving pumpkins in the grocery store are teensy and just barely arrived, and i don’t remember much foliage from my time in england as a missionary. but this last weekend, london autumn totally knocked our socks off! on friday after i finished up some work but before the boy got home from work, i took the tube west to check out the victoria & albert museum. i got caught up wandering some darling streets in south kensington, following signs of fall! i strolled over to kynance mews, which i had heard had some pretty vine foliage and look at what i found: i gaped and gawked at this ^^ for a while, and then walked along the pretty alley, thoroughly enjoying the sprinkled yellow leaves on the cobblestones, the mini pumpkins in windowsills, the darling cottages in a row, and the crisp ...

  the other day i was talking with a friend who is struggling with making a decision about marriage. she is (so understandably!) a bit paralyzed by worry about the unknown and unknowable details of an extremely long-term future with someone. i shared my belief that yes, marriage can be super hard in many ways, but also that it can be genuinely awesome . it’s a huuuuge leap of faith that is thrilling and ennobling. i told this friend that one benefit, among others, that i have experienced in marriage is the powerful refining that comes from sharing your life completely with another human being that is different than you. i have learned so many things about myself and ways i need and want to be better, and about humanity generally, in the last year – things i fundamentally could not have learned if i wasn’t married to the boy. that process, which is ongoing, can be painful but also really beautiful. indeed, ian has taught me so much about awareness, about discerning and choo...

    the image of venice is such a fairytale – a city of waterways, infused with romance, full of pizza and gelato and striped-shirted gondoliers, saturated with bridges and narrow cobblestoned streets and accordion players and colorful facades, a postcard around every corner. and here’s the thing. it really is magical in real life – to me, it lives up to its idealized image; it’s totally worth the hype. yes, it is super crowded with eager tourists and the water is really murky and the streets aren’t super clean and many buildings are crumbly. but it’s all just marvelous, grittiness and ubiquitous selfie sticks included. i had been to venice once before, but loooooved being there again with my boy, and with a whole new set of eyes since i saw the canals last, eight years ago. yes, it was a pretty spectacular day in venezia. we had a tour of st. mark’s (i hadn’t been inside before and it was jaw-dropping!), took a gondola ride (!!), and saw an astonishing glass blowing demons...