dripping with passion

last night i could not sleep. every part of my body was heavy and weary and forlorn, and all the crevices of my spirit were filled with longings and yearnings and yet unfulfilled righteous desires. i was thinking about a future living room with a deep tufted couch and a funky rug scattered with toys and a coffee table stamped with small sticky fingerprints. this morning when my alarm wailed that i needed to get to work, all i wanted was to find a tub of mint chocolate chip ice cream and snuggle in for a full day of eating out of the carton, watching romcoms and reading “anne of green gables.” i so, so, so intensely didn’t want to leave my bed or go to work or face the day. i thought of every possible scenario that would somehow allow me to stay and wallow. and then - i got up, got dressed, said a prayer, ate raw oatmeal with figs and almond milk, drove to work belting along to a sad patty griffin song, went to my meeting and sat myself down at my desk, pining for a lunch break. beca...

i recently heard about an interview with the abstract artist brian o’dougherty, who was fascinated by the evolution of identity. he says that he once heard a biologist discuss the process by which the human body rejuvenates itself. the scientist claimed that our cells are constantly dying and being replaced by new cells, or the molecules in those cells are being replaced by new molecules, such that after seven years, no part of our body is composed of the same material as it was seven years previously. o’dougherty asserts that our identities are similarly metamorphic, that as the years pass our selves become constructed of entirely new materials. (thanks for the summary, rachel odell!) isn’t that fascinating? i’ve been thinking about the seven years behind me and the seven years ahead of me – how i’ve changed and how i want to change. life is such an incredible ride. i’ve been blessed with amazing experiences that i hope have molded my identity. sometimes i have to look back to rememb...

i kind of feel like every weekend should be a three day weekend. right? that extra day is such a treat. on labor day i headed across the golden gate bridge to conquer mt. tamalpais with a group of friends. the hike was a little more intense than we expected, and i loved it! there’s nothing like climbing a mountain – the slow, steady ascent, the triumph at the top, the shaky legs after returning downhill. the sky was bluest blue and the sun beat on down and we wound up that big hill gasping at sweeping views. the fog hanging over the bay, hovering over the ocean and curling over the foothills was awesome.   all photos by the incredibly lovely kelly madsen. after we descended and ate dinner in the charming town of mill valley, we headed through a cloud back across the ggb to ocean beach for a big labor day bonfire. my spirit was smiling so wide seeing so many people that i love glowing by the fire in the fog on the sand by the ocean. i love events that include both my san fra...

i admit i have been quite negative about moving to the suburbs and living in palo alto. i still miss the city every day, but i have to say that this saturday i got a little charmed by this town, and felt a little prickle of love for this corner of suburbia. the truth is, if you gotta live in the suburbs, palo alto california is kind of the best spot to land. it’s really nice here. josephine just moved to palo alto from the east bay, to a house that’s about six minutes away from mine! i took her to foothills park on saturday afternoon. i’d been there just once when i first moved here, and have tried to go there several times since, but they are pretty strict about only allowing palo alto ( not east palo alto) residents in. josephine was my pass to finally get to explore this gorgeous spot.     it was such a radiant, lovely, sunshiney day, and the trees were all mossy and tangly and wonderful. i love the golden hills and the lichen and the lizards and the rolling views. we h...

when my brother and his wife came to visit in june , they came with a big surprise. as we picniced on the stanford oval lawn, eli handed me a book and told me to open it up. inside was a little black and white picture that made me gasp. the ultrasound had a speech bubble that said “hi chichi! i hear you are going to be my favorite aunt!” i can’t believe it - the youngest of my brothers is going to be a dad! we just found out that this eyre grandchild number 24, coming at christmastime, is a baby girl . my childhood best friend and one of my closest pals from high school are both due to give birth in october. babies galore! there’s nothing like meeting the offspring of siblings and dearest friends. i can’t wait to snuggle them all up. hopefully that sweetness will help hold me over until – oh! – i can snuggle up one of my own .

everyone who’s had pretty much any interaction with me in the last two years knows that i only eat sweets on holidays. i tell everyone about this little rule because it keeps me accountable. yes, i am liberal with my holidays (flag day totally counts! and my goodness, vive la france on bastille day!) and i occasionally push the limit on what is considered a “sweet,” but for the most part, i’ve been non-holiday dessert free for over 750 days. and i’m pretty proud of myself. here’s the thing. i have had an actually very legitimate addiction to sugar in my lifetime. truly, i dare you to find someone with a bigger sweet tooth. i knew i needed some sort of framework to rein it in when i realized one evening, feeling quite ill sucking on a waxy sweedish fish, that i’d bought and single-handedly consumed an entire bag of candy every single day that week. so i decided – sweets only on holidays. and i’ve been empowered by this choice and have impressed myself with my devotion to it. and when t...